My favorite joke

Hey, happy Veterans Day!  Thank you, veterans.  Thank you veterans’ families.  We pray for you every day.

We have the day off school, and we just got home from the doctor, where I got mini lectures because (a) my son only has two servings of milk a day, not three; (b) when I said, “I didn’t realize they offer the meningitis vaccine to kids this age.  I’d like to read up on it first, ” she took it to mean, “I can only hope that my entire family will get some o’ that fantastic meningitis ASAP”; (c) my son, who is 79 pounds, doesn’t ride in a booster seat. Gugh.  It wasn’t our regular doctor, thank goodness.  Our regular doctor thinks we’re hilarious, and lets us do whatever we want.

Also this morning, I was rude to some poor, earnest Bible thumpers — well, really they were so mild, they were more like Bible strokers — who came to the door when I was still in my PJ’s and the baby was naked and covered with yogurt.  WHY did I have to tell them we’re Catholic?  It was probably fairly obvious.  And then, attempting to spruce up a little, I reached for my eyeliner, only to discover that it was actually an X-Acto knife.  Yipes!  Well, now I’m awake!

Oh, so to make up for this post being late and about nothing, here is a joke.  I was doing a “My Favorite Joke” feature for a while, but I guess rather than emailing jokes to me, just put ‘em in the comment box.  This is the joke my daughter told me yesterday:

———-

Three guys are working on some scaffolding way up at the top of a skyscraper.  They take a lunch break.  The first guy opens his lunchbox and goes, “Aw, man, meatloaf again.”  Second guy opens his lunchbox and goes, “Aw, man, baloney again.”  Third guy opens his lunchbox and goes, “Aw, man, tuna salad again.”  They eat their lunches.

The next day, it’s lunch time again, and the first guy opens his lunchbox, and goes, “Aw man, meatloaf again.  You know, if I get meatloaf tomorrow, too, I’m going to jump off this skyscraper!”  Second guys opens his lunchbox and goes, “Aw man, baloney again.  You know, if I get baloney tomorrow, I’m going to jump off this skyscraper!”  Third guy opens his lunchbox and goes, “Aw man, tuna salad again.  You know, if I get tuna salad tomorrow, I’m going to jump off this skyscraper!”

Next day.  Lunchtime again.  First guy opens his lunchbox, cries, “Meatloaf!”  and leaps to his death.  Second guy opens his lunchbox, howls, “Baloney!” and leaps to his death.  Third guy opens his lunchbox, screams, “Tuna salad!” and leaps to his death.

Next day, at the funeral.  The widow of the first guy wails, “Oh, why oh why did I give him meatloaf in his lunch?”  The widow of the second guy moans, “Why oh why did I give him baloney?”

And the widow of the third guy says, “Don’t look at me!  He packs his own lunch.”

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  • http://remnantofremnant.blogspot.com priest’s wife

    haha- good joke- someday, I’ll tell you the one about the woodcutter and the emergency room (husband’s a hospital chaplain- the jokes are awful)

    My doctor experience with baby #4 might interest you

    http://remnantofremnant.blogspot.com/2010/11/no-catholic-guilt-here-just-mommy-guilt.html

  • http://www.amyfortherest.blogspot.com Amy

    Q: What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?

    A: A jellybutton.

    I laugh every time.

    • Anna

      Amy, that’s my kind of joke. The one that got me every time for a while was this one:

      A termite walks into a bar and says, “Is the bar tender here?”

      • http://www.amyfortherest.blogspot.com Amy

        That’s fantastic!

        What do you call a fish with no eyes?

        A fssshhh.

        :-)

        • Anna

          Ha!

  • Katharine

    One of Francesca’s favorites.

    A mushroom walks into a birthday party and the birthday boy says: “hey, you can’t be here!” and the mushroom says: “Why not? I’m a fungi.”

  • http://www.lapofluxury.blogspot.com Jen V.

    My current favorite joke is probably only funny to me, but what the heck I’ll post it for you. This was made up by my 16 month-old after hearing his sisters trick-or-treating joke.

    Knock, Knock.

    Who’s there?

    Candy!

    Candy who?

    Right there! (pointing wildly at the candy he really wants to eat)

  • ML

    “…poor, earnest Bible thumpers — well, really they were so mild, they were more like Bible strokers ”

    That’s my joke of the day. I’m still giggling.

  • Faustina

    Here’s one I read recently:

    Why are redneck murders so hard to solve?

    Because there are no dental records and the dna is all the same.

  • http://www.celebratingasimplelife.blogspot.com Monica

    I just found your blog… hilarious!


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