It’s like some incredibly crappy version of the Iliad.

Oh, Kentucky. So the moral of this story is:  next time you go see your buddy next door and it turns out he’s already incredibly drunk (love the detail of “already” — as if it’s inevitable, but the timing made things a bit ticklish), that might not be the best time to start dickering over the price of a used lawnmower.

“One thing led to another, and before I knew it, there were knives and guns and everything just went haywire.”

He says his brother had a mark on his neck, where a knife was held. But Westmoreland’s loss was more permanent.

“They cut my beard and forced me to eat it,” he said.

I love the fact that it’s the News 18 BIG STORY.  And I love, love, love how the guys says he believes in the “la-awwwwww.”  And check out the mug shots of the two accused men!  Oh man!

Now I’m ready for the weekend.

  • http://amomforlife-theunconventionalfamily.blogspot.com/ Kelly

    You have to read the comments! Especially the one by SaddleUpBiscuit. Priceless.

    • http://www.thecottagechild.blogspot.com the cottage child

      “There is going to be a huge surprise come out”…NaDean

      I’m so borrowing that.

  • http://www.lovelettertomykids.blogspot.com Kim D.

    The comments below the article are even better than the article itself.

  • http://stellarstories.blogspot.com Alishia Hanson

    I can’t handle the thought of consuming beard hair. It makes me gag. Because beard hair so closely resembles…other hair.

  • http://www.thecottagechild.blogspot.com the cottage child

    Those folks really know how to put the hurt on each other…beard hair…*snort*.

    Is it possible that they will NEVER look back and see it as anything other than the day they got in a tizzy over the price of a used lawnmower?

  • barboo77

    It’s stories like this that make me ashamed to admit that I was born and raised in Kentucky. But I lived in Louisville (the “big” scary city), and I like to pretend that it’s its own little island that’s not really part of Kentucky…kind of like Vatican City is not really part of Italy.

    • Anne

      I’m not a born and raised Kentuckian….Moved there when I was starting high school. I lived in Lexington…and I agree…it was necessary to just….pretend everything outside of Fayette C’anty was another world. I graduated (or gradgiated, depending on who you ask) from UK but we no longer live in the Lex.

      Gotta love the local news. They will always, ALWAYS find and interview the person with the least amount of teeth. Large weather systems are always, ALWAYS referred to as being “of biblical proportions!”

  • Anne
    • Laura

      This makes me feel empowered.

  • Kelly

    Well Barboo and Anne, living in the rural part of Ky, I can assure you that we don’t consider Louisville and Lexington to be a true part of Kentucky either.

    Simcha, regarding the “already” drunk part, I can tell you that for the good ol’ boys, it is normal to start drinking beer with breakfast and steadily consume it throughout the day. It is not socially acceptable to become start consuming the hard stuff or become drunk until after supper.

    It is also a cherished good ol’ boy tradition to get something on the cheap (say, found along side the road) and then sell it for “a great price” to a friend. This known as the good ol’ boy system. It can work in your favor really well, or you can really get a bad deal. Mostly depends on whether you are the person already drunk or not yet drunk when the deal is struck.

    • barboo77

      Well, I know most Kentuckians prefer to distance themselves from Louisville as much as possible. That’s where all those heathen Catholics live and that death trap known as the Waterson Expressway.

      But you know that Lexington is considered Mecca because of that holy shrine Rupp Arena. ;-)

      • Anne

        I’d say that about sums it up lol.

  • http://sortacrunchy.net Megan@SortaCrunchy

    This is the best thing that has happened to me today. And for that, Simcha, I thank you.

  • http://ayoungmomsmusings.blogspot.com/ Young Mom

    Here is one story that made me laugh a few months ago. Crazy! It makes you wonder if this stuff is even for real?

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/7830524/German-throws-puppy-at-Hells-Angels-bikers-then-flees-on-bulldozer.html

  • http://remnantofremnant.blogspot.com priest’s wife

    It’s these kinds of stories that make NYC and LA turn up their noses! I say- yee haw! but beard hair…..ugh…..

  • http://www.amyfortherest.blogspot.com Amy

    I feel like babies are all rednecks with their low-cut-shirt-lovin’ ways and their tendency to wander around with their bums hanging out of their pants, gunting at people and looking generally suspicious.

    Ah, Simcha, you often make my day.

  • Shelley

    The only thing that gives me comfort as a life-long “Kentuckian”, is that pics from Kentucky very seldom shows up on http://www.peopleofwalmart.com. It’s mostly the east & west-coast. LOL

  • jess

    How about the comment that they are both sleeping with the guy’s girlfriend “in the barn”. Yeesh.

  • Katharine

    You know, I just don’t know how reporters keep a straight face. How can they report on something like this seriously, with the beard close ups and all? rotfl


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