I Have to Sit Down
Simcha Fisher’s Blog
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In which I tell the highly expurgated version of how I decided to marry my husband.
I wished you would have asked why HE chose ME. I’m still wondering…(I chose him because he’s awesome.)
I am the kind of person whom God has to hit over the head with a sledgehammer. By that I mean, i do not listen to the still, small voice inside me often enough, and God knows that. I met my husband over the Internet–in the age of email classified ads (I think it was a site called Classifieds2000), where you didn’t post your picture, or any personal information, just what your criteria were. I was tired of the dating game, of dating guys who ran away the minute you seemed like you had deeper feelings for them. So I posted an ad. I specified Christian, ready for marriage, nonsmoker, open to children after marriage. I got five replies. One told me he would “knock my socks off,” another one asked if it was a problem whether he had a colostomy or not. And I got one response from a guy who told me about the Sunday School class he was teaching, his wee garden he was trying to nurse along and save from the groundhogs in his backyard, and his Catholic faith.
We emailed furiously, long letters that took up tons of computer space. When we got to the point of exchanging pictures, he was web-savvy enough to be able to email a picture of himself. I had a friend in the computer lab print it out and slip it in a folder for me–I didn’t want to look at it until I was alone. I wasn’t sure whether I’d be attracted to him or not, and if i wasn’t, what would I do? I liked his personality so much, but I was and am rather superficial.
I went to a Barnes and Noble, found a quiet seat, and pulled out his picture. In my head a voice resounded, “This is the man you’re going to marry.” It wasn’t my voice. I’d heard it before. The rest is history–12 years married, three kids, one on the way, and I’m still certain God chose my husband for me.
Can I just say I was very disappointed to not have The Jerk weigh in in the comments?
That was really sweet. I also like the post about the wedding chaos followed by Mass the next day and bringing up the gifts. When I got married, my husband was still in the Marines and our best friend/his best man was in the seminary so both of them were in “uniform”. My husband was in his dress blues, the best man was in clerics and I was in a wedding dress. Well, the best man had to drive us to the B&B after the reception in a blizzard. We all joked how we could totally hold-up a gas station and get away with it because of our costumes. That was 12 years and 4 kids ago. Our friend is a priest in Boston and we have been blessed to have many new, wacky Catholic friends in the unlikely city of Austin, TX. Coincidentally, at a Pentecost party (geeks!) two weeks ago, we met the author of that study, Mark Regnerus. He is a sociology professor at UT and came into the Church (with his wife and kids) this Easter. Hooray.
thanks I’ll wear a costume. wink wink. you tell ANYONE you’re all dead.
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