I’m about 89% ashamed of this . . .

but I’ve just opened a CafePress store.

Check it out. 

T-shirts (including plus size and maternity), Dignerrieres, and even Dignaroos.  It’s all there.

For a little background on this tomfoolery, see

Pants:  A Manifesto

and

Pants Pass

and, just to show my heart’s in the right place, one more post which didn’t spawn any products at all:

WWMD

But really, overall, I’m so ashamed.  But on the other hand, do let me know if there’s another product you’d like to see!

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  • http://californiatokorea.com Micaela @ California to Korea

    I think your shop is great is great! Nothing to be ashamed of. Now design me some drinkware, woman!!

    Sorry. The “woman” part was inspired by the rabbit hole I just climbed out of after reading all of the comments following your “Pants” posts. Woo-eee doggies! I wasn’t a follower back then, so all the traddie stuff is new to me.

  • richard

    I would be interested in “Posters and Art” when that category is ready.

  • http://www.thismamaneedscoffee.blogspot.com Jenny

    I am DYING … if I don’t get a pair of dignaroos under my Christmas tree, I will know that my husband didn’t try hard enough this year.

  • LA

    I’m a widow. Can I sign my own pants pass? Or am I doomed to be pantsless forever?

  • Anna

    Ooh, I saw this comic strip (it’s a single-panel, but “strip” seems fitting) nearly a month ago and was hoping this discussion would come up again so I could post it!

    http://www.gocomics.com/cornered/2012/10/30

    • Angie

      That was funny!

  • http://cotlb.blogspot.com Julie

    Well, I am 100% in love with those yoga pants. Pair them with a Pants Pass shirt and you’ll be neutralizing your inherent sinfulness coming and going!! I’m not supposed to be buying anything for myself until after Christmas… but then I have broken that rule about five times since Thursday… but then again I have already broken that rule five times since Thursday… I’d better find a man to tell me what to do…

  • http://tertiumkid.posterous.com Mary

    This is so full of win I can’t stand it!

  • http://www.damihisanctitiam.blogspot.com Rosalie

    So hilarious! Love the dignerriers… Exactly what I need for this awful weather! Even the heaviest skirt is no match for -30 F and falling.

  • Josh

    I don’t know if there would be copyright issues, but since you’re already an established lingerie dealer, my wife had a great idea. How about undies in white and green with the Creighton baby printed on the front? Maybe some zippy NFP one-liner across the ass? Maybe “Got Goop?”

    • Anna

      Hah! I would buy those – and give them as bridal shower gifts too. I’d even encourage our diocese to give those out with the NFP info. Or something. Our diocese was looking for ways to support couples already using NFP, maybe through social nights or something (because what better basis for friendship, right?!). My husband suggested the slogan: “Stretchy and clear? Come have a beer!” This idea never quite got off the ground, but I think this undies design fits right in there.

      • Josh

        If the chancery starts giving out underwear people will think we’re Mormons. Probably a bad idea.

        The best way to support NFP-practicing couples is to provide a couple sitters to watch their 5-7 kids. I mean dinner out is expensive enough. Who can swing the extra $50-70 for sitters?

    • Kate

      How about: No. Fun. Period.

  • Ez

    @ Josh- ” Got goop?”- haha, but really- eeeew!

    This store’s great Simcha. A ridiculous preoccupation in whether a “good Catholic woman” should wear pants/skirts should don an equally ridiculous but utterly amusing response like this- a CafePress store! I think we should start a new conversation “Should good Catholic Men drink Beer?”…and Bud could set up his own CafePress line called- Bud-wiser! Ha!

  • anna lisa

    My brain is frozen…deer in the headlights… How. is. this. possible.–? Besides the Middle East are there actually whole communities where women only wear skirts? In the snow?? Even the Trads that used to live here wore pants.

    .

    I need to see the documentary.

    .

    The Jerk must have some film making in his blood. I NEED TO SEE THE DOCUMENTARY BEFORE I BELIEVE IT IS TRUE. Please. It’s like being told that The Yeti lives in New Hampshire–proof? Maybe a decoy in church with hidden cameras. I want to see their burning indignation. I’m dying to see what they look like.

    .

    Oh–How about thong dignaroos? I wouldn’t be caught dead in bikini briefs. Thongs or nothing– (otherwise known as “free bird” in my household). Panty lines are the devil.

    .

    Great idea about the online store :). I’m looking forward to seeing some New Englandy stuff that I couldn’t make if my life depended on it.

    • Kate

      Anna Lisa, you can’t really be a Catholic?! Where have you been? Seesh, even in my small rural community there are a few Catholic families who define a good Catholic girl/woman as one who *always* wears a skirt/dress. Yes, even in the snow and even with our typical strong winter winds (whoop!). One family, I’m thinking of is particularly exclusive, not letting their girls become friends with any of the Catholic girls who wear pants (possible corrupting influence). Come on, you must know the look: denim skirt almost to the knees, tennis shoes or flat shoes (no heels, no toes exposed), sleeves below the elbow, blouse with T-shirt underneath (no collar bone showing), nothing feminine or frilly or attractive to the opposite sex (especially if it indicates that you have, ahem, nursies). The girls do not participate in anything that would require pants, such as horse riding or sports. Tell me you are joking. Or tell me where you live so I can move there.

      • Kate

        Ooops. Denim skirt almost to the ankles, not knees. That would be something.

        • anna lisa

          Kate, I really haven’t ever met anyone that “ultra” “ultra”. Of my homeschooler friends that were hardcore, ALL wore pants on occasion. We all met in Santa Barbara (which is disgustingly expensive, and no big families now). One moved to Steubenville, another to a community called Ojai in CA, (where a bunch ended up moving) and the other, just south of Los Angeles where they started a really strict Catholic school. The first two were downright mean about things like make up, and anything womanly– in the “isn’t it great to be a girl” sense. Their husbands just didn’t seem to celebrate their femininity. Hanging out with them was kind of like being in a cult. I was young, and a new mother so they were kind of like matriarchal Catholic superheros in my eyes. One of them would get up at 5 to milk the goat, grind her own wheat berries to make her own bread and THEN went to 7 am mass. (She would also give birth at home with her kids all watching). It took me a while to figure out how much hidden pride was wrapped up in that crazy burrito. I still like her, but she and our other friend just became a different kind of snob. A couple of the other homeschoolers were more mainstream. My sister, on the other hand, lives in the desert above Palm Springs. She sent her kids to an ultra trad school for about 10 years. She got really, really odd. I think it’s because she used to be the huge partier in the family, and she was trying to make amends by becoming an extremist in the other direction. Now she is back to her old self, after she took the kids out of the illicit catholic school. She used to be obsessed with the end of the world. She was really fearful.

          .

          Both of my oldest boys were exposed to the “skirts” at UD. They didn’t mix with them though, as the skirts were very exclusive, and looked down their noses at everyone else. My oldest tells me they weren’t great students academically. I really dislike how they made traditional Catholicism highly “suspect” to my sons. They were just soooo turned off.

          .

          The Upshot? I can’t even IMAGINE how awful, misogynist, and objectifying of women some of these people must be by reading comments in blog threads. I’m about to get my rant on so I’d better count to ten. Suffice to say, I think some of these people do a lot of damage to the faith. It’s like they want to add the book of Leviticus to what is already hard enough. The tell tale clue to the whole obsession is a *lack of charity*.

          • Kate

            Hey! I knew it – you live in a blue state! Actually, without revealing where I live, I can tell you I am very familiar with all the places you mentioned. I wouldn’t be surprised if we’ve passed each other on The 5 at some point. I am going to reveal something about myself though – I have milked a goat (although my teenage son milks now), grind my own wheat berries occasionally to make an occasional loaf of bread and have had four of my seven children at home (without children watching). But I don’t think I’ve ever been up for 7am mass. Our friends say we have hippie leanings (even though my husband and I have never smoked pot) or are “Whole Wheat Catholics.” I suppose that’s why trads give me the hebbies.

          • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/simchafisher Simcha Fisher

            I feel like I ought to say that of course not all trads are like this, and not all women who choose to wear only skirts look down on women who wear pants. I think it’s a small, very vocal, very obnoxious minority, and I”m just glad I’m not especially drawn toward traditional Catholicism, or else I’d be constantly grinding my teeth over the bad reputation these maroons give the rest of the group.

          • Kate

            I know your clarification is true. In my group of homeschooling Catholics,there is only a small minority. However, they always seem to be the ones that want to make rules for everyone else or they’ll take their marbles home. I often can’t refrain from just grinding my teeth. One woman especially always stirs in me the urge to say something shocking to her. And, God forgive me, I sometimes succumb to the temptation. I suppose it has always been like this among Catholics. Or as a good priest friend says: “The Catholic Church is a hospital, not a country club.”

          • anna lisa

            :) Lol, okay, let me clarify the goat-wheat berry aspect–AMAZING! It still takes my breath away. You could say I have a touch of goat milking envy. No, that isn’t the problem (other than the fact that it might be a turn off to my hubs if I asked for a goat–who knows?) It was the *competition* of who could be the crunchiest, perfect, Catholic, earth-mother-wife that had me demoralized. I was clearly out of my league, had a perpetual inferiority complex, started dressing to please *them* instead of the guy who met me in a leather mini (that’s another story, and yes, the leather mini was already retired) and ended up getting the boot anyhow when I put my kid in a Catholic school. I actually repented of this and took him out mid-year so they would take me back! What a numbskull I was. When they called me “plastic” for having an epidural at the hospital, I finally got the memo. Birth is like dying for me. I realized a bunch of stuff about the human condition and our perpetual need to feel superior, and the fact that the whole thing started to feel strangely UNChristian to me–yes, like a cult. These women weren’t the ones that go to The Latin Mass though.

            .

            The Trads my sister associated with were having *illicit unsanctioned* masses. Those people wore long sleeves when it was 120 degrees outside “to make reparation for immodesty”… Some of them believe the seat of Peter to be “empty”. They. didn’t. approve . of. JPII….!!! I never met them. My sister found some of them to be “nice”. Some of them hung out with the strict Mormons (that kind of says a lot)..

            I know there were some sanctioned Latin masses that another friend went to, but the priest was imperious, and lectured all of the non trads at her funeral like we were heathens. I don’t have ANY problem with the Latin mass per se, it’s just that lack of unity and sense of division that disturbs me. I also agree with a lot of the things Simcha has written about how they make the virgin Mary unapproachable, when in fact, in her day, Mary didn’t stick out in the crowd for her clothing or posture. I become very suspicious about what is truly going on when Catholics think they need to be odd and Amish-like to be *light* in this world.

            .

            On a positive note there was my friend Julie T. She was a traditionally minded Catholic who attended her regular parish. She homeschooled. She gave birth at home. Her husband (a physician)was semi retired and could help her teach. She was the real deal. She didn’t have an air of self righteousness whatsoever. She is quietly a saint. I moved away to the Bay area for over a decade and never saw her again. I’m curious if her daughters are still wearing Laura Ingalls Wilder dresses, now that some of them are grown women.

  • LJ

    Hey Simcha! For the record, I totally credit your pants philosophy from saving me from a few years in Skirtsville, Freezing NorthEast. So thanks for that.

    Just wanted to voice that I think the yoga pants with the writing on the butt might be a challenge for some… at least some of the guys I know (20s, trying to be chaste) find butt-word pants to be really distracting. Maybe it’s too late and you’ve already purchased a gazillion of them and you’d have to sell half of your children to redeem the money… but I just thought I’d throw that out there. I think the other products are funny- best of luck. :)

    - 20-something Huge Fan

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/simchafisher Simcha Fisher

      No, happily there aren’t even actually such pants in existence – what you see is a digital mock-up of what CafePress would print up for anyone who ordered one. I totally agree with you: pants with words on the butt are an abomination. When I added them to the store, I assumed no one would actually buy them,; but I went ahead and marked the price way up just in case.

      So far, I have made zero sales on any of this crap – which kind of warms my heart, because my readers have bought hundreds of the books I recommended in the last few weeks! I like my readers.

      • Jocelyn

        Ha! I wondered why the pants were $400.00…

      • LJ

        Hahaha! You win. I totally missed the price mark-up. Nicely done.

        :)

  • Jenni

    What?! It’s not a real store? I was hoping I could buy a Pants Pass so I could stop carrying around a hand written letter from my husband!

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/simchafisher Simcha Fisher

      No no, it’s a real store! I just meant that it’s “print on demand.”. There’s no ready-made stock of pre-printed items in a warehouse somewhere; but CafePress will print up whatever people order. The keychain is ALUMINUM, and much harder to forge a signature. Tell your husband.

  • http://gravatar.com/happyhippiehousewife Maria D.

    Today, I learned that dignity has a price, and that is $400. Thanks for the laugh, Simcha!

  • http://vitabenedicta.wordpress.com vitabenedicta

    I need a “Bad at NFP” maternity shirt.

  • http://roughplacesplain.tumblr.com/ nancyo

    I really love the second-to-last paragraph of the WWMD post. Good stuff.

  • Jenn

    I agree that pants with writing on the tush are an abomination. But I still want a pair! I would wear them around the house when drinking too much lunchtime gin!

  • allotmentgirl

    I would love a pants pass but it wouldn’t really work in Britain, as what you call pants we call trousers. What we call pants, I think you call panties. A woman who announced she never wears pants to Mass would be saying she goes without underwear.

    It is also used to refer to something a bit rubbish- It was complete pants!

    • Anna

      Personally, I think this would be a most entertaining way to spice up the tired old pants vs. skirts debate: pretend we’re all Americanese-challenged Brits and express shock at the unladylike behavior of the “women’s pants are evil” crowd, try to convince them of the modesty of wearing underclothes (while decrying the immodesty of such a conversation online), that sort of thing.

      • anna lisa

        Going commando in a skirt is a real no-no. I’ve heard there are men with mirrors on their shoes in Barcelona. Everyone knows how Brits act when they go to Spain. :) We have Mexico. They have Spain and Greece. Interesting phenomenon, for otherwise upstanding folks.

  • Emily

    My husband and I got a good laugh at the CafePress store, but it’s not as funny the next time, and the next, and the next time. . . lol. Stupid Google Ads! I now have pants passes and DIgnity Pants on the side of my screen when I browse. :P

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/simchafisher Simcha Fisher

      Oh, those ads are the worst. CafePress haunted me for a couple of days after I set up the store (including OTHER people’s ideas of what would be devastatingly amusing to print on the bottom of pink underpants). They did go away after a while.

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  • Marianne Bacon

    I like the Egyptian god bumper sticker, but think that it might go over people’s heads. Please keep those coming, though. (The great thing about your humor is that it credits people with intelligence. I can’t seem to do that.)


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