50 Books: the Ultimate Reading Accessory

Back to books tomorrow, but I couldn’t resist adding in one non-book item:

tv b gone

  Perhaps you have found yourself sitting in the waiting room of a doctor’s office, and the wall-mounted TV is on, and you aren’t quite up to answering the question, “Momeeeeee, what is a ‘twanssexual wuv twiangle?’”

Or you’re sitting in a restaurant for your biennial date with your husband, waiting for your bloomin’ onion to arrive, and you realize that your precious evening is being devoured by the eleven wall-mounted screens, all showing the Laker Girls?

Or heck, maybe you’re sitting in that same restaurant and Michael Voris comes on, and you actually listen with an open heart for once and you suddenly realize that he actually is a fearless prophet who will save the world, and is, as  one of my readers pointed out, “completely faithful to the magnesium?”  But, because of your heart of stone, you are unwilling to take back your calumnious words, and so you wish you could just TURN THE TV OFF?

That’s what the TV-B-Gone Universal TV Power Remote Control Keychain does.  It turns off TVs.  Point and click, and whatever’s troubling you on the silver screen goes away, so you can wait for the phlebotomist or bloomin’ onion or continue to dwell in non-Vorisian darkness in peace and quiet for another day.



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  • http://gravatar.com/anthonyopl Robert

    But don’t you want lies and falsehoods to be trapped and exposed?

  • Anna

    I love this rant! It’s what I think all the time and I hate that restaurants keep installing screens *everywhere* so there’s nowhere to sit to get away from them.

  • Sharon

    There is no where to hide from the all-seeing, one eyed monster, but now we can fight back! Yipee!!

  • Josh

    Simcha, do you have one of these? If you can vouch that it works, I’ll order one immediately.

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/simchafisher Simcha Fisher

      I don’t, but my sister had one, and it did work — which resulted in her being de-patiented by her orthodontist. She offers this tip: you blow your cover if you have previously complained about the TV.

  • anna lisa

    Awesome. The power of the “click”.

    “Mommeee, what are…..”

    “Honey, people that like to do freaky things. The world has plenty of freaky freaks, and can you imagine, God STILL loves them!”

    “What kind of freaky things?”

    “Soooooo freaky that if I described it to you, it would make all those Honey Nut Cheerios come right back up from your tummy, sweetie.”


    “Yeah, super gross…those poor people.”

    “Like eating your boogers?”

    “A thousand million times worse than eating your boogers.”


  • kathmurphy

    We don’t have this particular model, however my husband has one built into his watch and it does work. It is lots of fun, even when out visiting family and friends. No need to wait for an appointment or dinner out!

  • Kate

    So, what do you do when the TV gets turned on again (I assume deactivation is not permanent and no actual damage is done – RATS!)? Keep clicking? Seems you’d risk getting slapped silly by the receptionist. It seems it might be a better plan to turn to the others in the waiting area and ask if they mind if you turn off the TV (because your child is very sensitive to noise and she/might lose it and start screaming hysterically ……). When I go out for my annual date with my husband (we tried to do it monthly like all the marriage books suggest, but realized it was more important for the kids to eat daily), we find a place without TV.

    On a side Voris note, I think it is hilarious when people invoke the “faithful to the magisterium” thing. For most of the history of the Church, Catholics have been relatively faithful to the magisterium (and had the Latin mass) and yet sin abounded. None of the Borgia popes were heretics, afterall.

  • Melissa G.

    I would have loved something like this when I had to go through P.T. and they kept playing “The View” on the TV. I kept asking them to change it to the Food Channel instead.

  • Kathy

    Does this work on airplanes, too? I’d love to try it, but I’d probably be arrested. Sheesh. There’s nothing like trying to keep your captive kids and teens otherwise occupied while unedited R-rated TV shows and movies are blaring throughout the cabin. For HOURS.

  • http://gravatar.com/nancyleschke Nancy

    AWESOME. I don’t like that there are tvs at the post office, oil change place, etc. etc. etc. This is brilliant.

  • http://quiltingbibliophagist.blogspot.com catholicbibliophagist

    Wow! What an amazing gizmo! I hate, hate, hate the fact that more and more medical waiting rooms have TVs in them.

  • Anne

    I just get up and turn the TV off if I am in a doctor’s office. Most people don’t notice. Sometimes one looks grateful. Some are so totally shocked that I did that they are frozen until I am taken in for my appointment.

  • alex

    why do have to bring up MV again? really?

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/simchafisher Simcha Fisher

      Dated Dec. 17, Alex.