Why I don’t say “I’m so blessed.”

grunewald crucifixion

The other day, a woman lashed out at me for announcing my latest pregnancy online. This particular woman's stock in trade is lashing out; and since I'm pretty sure I don't (as she accused me of doing) parade my perfect children around like perfect trophies to prove that I'm a perfect Catholic mom, I didn't give her anger much thought. Just another angry person on the internet.Later, out of curiosity, I read more of her comments. And then my heart broke.It was a lot of what I expected: Y … [Read more...]

The Case for Siblings: Why Having a Baby Is Good for Your Other Kids

[This post originally ran at Faith and Family Live in 2010, when I was pregnant with #8. I'm on my way to Virginia for the Summer Soiree at Mary's Shelter! If you have a prayer to spare, maybe send up one that my ears don't get too plugged up on the plane? It's hard to talk into a microphone when your ears are plugged up! Usually I take Sudafed, but this is a no go for this stage of the pregnancy. And also please pray that I don't cry on stage for any reason. I don't even know why I would, but p … [Read more...]

I have a job for you, baby.

baby hand

 Not the little guy who just kicked me for the first time, that I could feel, just yesterday (yay!). I mean the other one, the one I lost. I wrote about how hard it was not to have a body to bury. You want to be able to take care of your children with your own hands, but I couldn't do that, and it hurt.Now, as the months have gone by and the pain of loss has receded, I still find myself bewildered about what to do with the baby's soul.When I found out I was pregnant last time, I … [Read more...]

What did you almost name your kid?

horrified baby

The other day, my groceries were scanned by a woman whose nametag said "Alma." I almost told her that I wanted to name my daughter that; but then I realized that, if she's anything like every other Alma I've ever met, she just wants me to take my receipt and go away.Anyway, when I come across someone with a name we decided against nine times, sometimes I'm relieved ("Whew! Dodged that bullet") and sometimes I'm wistful ("Just think, that could have been ours . . . "). Truly, I feel like all … [Read more...]

At the Register: Babies as Teachers

Skeptics may groan at yet another extraneous, feel-good program, where tax dollars are squandered on things that parents ought to be teaching at home. Teachers should spend their precious class time teaching math, reading, and science, right?But others believe that an increase in empathy is not only desirable for life in general, but it also makes for a better learning experience. Kids who have participated in Roots of Emphathy bully each other less; kids are calmer and more respectful of the … [Read more...]

Dr. Greg Popcak on marriage after baby

I'm putting together an article for Our Sunday Visitor about how marriages change after a baby is born -- the good, the bad, and the things that need professional intervention (spiritual and otherwise). Dr. Greg Popcak gave me some wonderful information, and he has reprinted our entire interview on his blog. Here's an excerpt: Simcha: I assume you mostly work with Catholic couples. Is the strength of a couple’s faith a good predictor for how well they can work through their problems? This so … [Read more...]

A long Holy Saturday

Last night, I was cold and couldn't sleep, so I snuggled up against my husband, who is always warm. When I'm pregnant, I like to press my belly against him so that we can all be warm all together, me and him and the baby.  "Here you go, little guy.  This is your daddy.  You will like him."  Then, last night, I remembered that there is no baby.There is no wild anguish here. I'm just tired, and bewildered.  I was so busy for those seven weeks, I sometimes forgot I was even pregnant, even thou … [Read more...]


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