The Rubberbandians

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Or, Why You Should Have a Bunch of Weird Kids and a Giant Dog.I had to run to the pharmacy, and when I got  home, this is what met me in the driveway.  The little one shouted, "WE ARE RUBBERBANDIANS, AND HAVE SPEARS!"Note that they all have rubber bands on their foreheads (or, as the three-year-old calls them, "our brains."   Also note the progress of the dog. We sometimes sing the Little Mermaid song in Boomer's voice, and it g … [Read more...]

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A short history of awful pets

frog

You know what's no fun? Being a scapedog. This noble creaturehas simple needs. He just wants a crate with a blankie and lots of wet coffee filters and styrofoam meat trays hidden under it. He wants people to tell him what to do, and he wants to smell their wonderful, wonderful feet. He wants to go outside and then come inside and then to outside and then come in and then maybe go outside for a bit. He wants to eat snow. And he wants to protect the HELL out of the baby, which is … [Read more...]

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Why Benny doesn’t walk the dog

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As imagined by my nine-year-old:   My  husband pointed out that, while the older kids are almost always gentle and patient with Benny in real life, they jerk her around a lot in their art. Whoop, there she goes! … [Read more...]

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You’re not BORED, are you?

BORED

I’ve seen this picture here and there online, and I like it. I like it a lot.  Of course, this would only work with kids who can read. Or, let's face it, this would only work with kids who are not actively campaigning to drive you out of your gourd.  But it should work. It's a good idea in theory, and some days, that is the best you can get. However, it needs expanding. For instance, here is a version for my two-year-old (who, admittedly, has never been bored in her life):Here i … [Read more...]

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At the Register: Should You Get a Dog? A Quiz

Why are you asking me? You've obviously made up your mind already, you fool. … [Read more...]

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Oh, New Hampshire.

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We got our dog, Boomer, when he was one year old.  It wasn't a name we would have chosen, but it suits him pretty well; and we didn't want to confuse him, so we kept the name, and we've been calling him Boomer since Christmas.Today I dug up his vet records so I could get his license.  Turns out . . .I guess I'll go git it engraved on his colla. … [Read more...]

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Seven Qui–WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF AM I SERIOUSLY THE ONLY ONE WHO REALIZES THERE IS A TRUCK GOING BY WOOF WOOF

lucy and boomer

Well, dog #2 is home with the Fishers.  As I write, Boomer is happy and contented, hasn't ripped anyone's throat out, dashed in front of an oncoming truck, or swallowed the dining room whole.  He is just placidly trundling around the house, mildly observing the kids as they hurl their bodies at him.  He is a one-year-old brindle English Mastiff, and was raised with three little kids and another English Mastiff.  His dog pal was older and died, and that's why he needed a new home: he was just lon … [Read more...]

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