How to make your Halloween magnificent!

We never did find out what Wish Bear was so angry about. I thought she looked magnificent.

Our founding fathers didn't die face down in the mud of Vietnam only to see my children struggling through the night with only Mary Janes, Good and Plenty, nameless lollipop blobs, and Bit-o'- Chicken to sustain them, like I did when I was a kid. Those were dark times. We can do better.Read the rest at the Register. … [Read more...]

These 3D printable masks could save Halloween.

mask tiger

Halloween is in eight days.  So far, I have (a) ordered one light blue hoodie from Ebay and (b) yelled at everybody.  Since we have to come up with nine costumes -- or 17, really, since the older kids always pick a trick-or-treating costume that would be inappropriate for school, and so we have to come up with a second costume that won't trigger an automatic lock-down. Thank goodness we're terrible Catholics and quietly ignore All Saint's Day, except for going to Mass, or we'd be looking at eig … [Read more...]

Don’t bubble-wrap your kids

windblown tree

 My son, who is twelve, recently wanted to buy a comic book, and as he leafed through the pages, he liked the story, but was disturbed by some of the gory images he saw. The comic book guy reassured him that he would get used to it over time. And I agreed. Sure, you can get used to it, and eventually it wouldn't even bother you any more. But why would you want to do that to yourself?Read the rest at the Register.  … [Read more...]

Kids and the occult: what’s your policy?

ouija board

In my post for the Register about the Black Mass that will be reenacted at Harvard, I included this paragraph: Satan is real, and he is not fussy. He doesn't care if you are kidding or not when you call him by name. This is why I tell my kids to stay far, far away from participating in anything occult -- ouija boards, tarot cards, etc. -- even if it's just a game.  An invitation is an invitation, and Satan doesn't stand on manners. You may not see Exorcist-style special effects when the Father o … [Read more...]

Seven Quick Takes: With all my crooked heart


 SEVEN QUICK TAKES! (It won't let me load up the image for some reason.)  This week has been an experiment to see whether two rather sedentary adults can accomplish the work of five strong men, sleeping an average of four non-consecutive hours per night, and sustained by little more than beer, deli ham, and Laffy Taffy:(Oh, so the answer is:  "Yes, but unnnnnghhhhhhhh.")So here are seven things I never got around to blogging about: --1-- Maybe someday, if we need a house, we … [Read more...]

At the Register: Should Catholics support UNICEF?


 Absolutely not.  Here are a few reasons why.And for goodness' sake, if a cute little Spiderman or vampire shows up on your porch with an orange UNICEF box, don't harangue the poor kid.  Just say, "No, thanks, we support better charities."   … [Read more...]

Self-explanatory Halloween party treats that you can totally do

halloween mouths

Now that I posted about Lou Reed, I feel a little more comfortable slipping into mommy blog territory for a minute.  I just signed up to bring treats for my kid's Halloween party.  I actually love doing things like this, but I know I'm going to be busy this week.  If you're making Halloween treats, here are a few possibilities for projects that you can figure out how to do without reading the directions:A few years ago, I made these:and achieved the holy grail of internet-inspired tr … [Read more...]