On complaining honestly about NFP (and other crosses)

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Want to complain about NFP? Far be it from me to stop you! You could even go ahead and write a whole book about how hard NFP can be, and see where that gets you. (Psst, it's still on sale! $5 paperback, $2.99 eb0ok) . Couples who are struggling are very grateful to hear that they're not the only ones who hate NFP. There's nothing worse than feeling like, not only are you having a miserable time, but you're the only ones who aren't lovin' every minute of it. . Happily, the conversation about N … [Read more...]

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Maria Goretti didn’t die for her virginity

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Or she wasn't canonized just because she managed to remain a virgin, anyway.Let's back up. When you think about holiness, do you fall into bathwater thinking?Bathwater thinking is when you forget the baby -- the living, breathing, vulnerable persons in front of you -- and instead, you wallow around in that warm, familiar bathwater of your indisputably worthy cause. Think about St. Gianna Molla.  A good many people believe that this woman’s greatness came in her eager, joyful acceptance o … [Read more...]

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Only a rightly-ordered heart feels grief

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  e know some couples who don't fight very much, but they don't seem to really enjoy each other, either. They more or less leave each other alone, with a sort of low-level, courteous disdain for each other's enthusiasms and flaws alike. They never experience the agony of rupture because they've carefully cordoned themselves off from any passionate unity. They are indifferent, because it's easier. And this indifference is a tragic waste of marriage.Read the rest at the … [Read more...]

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Love isn’t supposed to be efficient.

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Jesus died for everybody, true. But He also died for each of us, specifically, individually, lovingly. Inefficiently. He would have died just for me. Why, I do not know. But I know it wasn't just poetic license when God says that the hairs on my head are counted. Salvation is not some kind of corporate endeavor for maximum efficiency. It's not efficient, and, thank God, it's not fairRead the rest on the Register. ***Image: By Hans Memling (c. 1430-1494) [Public domain], via Wik … [Read more...]

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On Valentine’s day, communication, and not getting kicked in the nuts

Here lies Doug, the perfect husband

 This year, I revealed to my husband that I actually kind of like Valentine’s Day.  This is despite all the times I told him that I hated it, it’s lame and stupid, and a made-up, over-commercialized saccharine-fest invented by Hallmark and Big Floral.   For fourteen years, the poor man has been wondering why, every February 14, I would say I wasn’t mad at him, while I was clearly mad at him.I was mad, you see, because everyone else was getting flowers and riding in heart-shaped hot a … [Read more...]

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Loving the adult Jesus

Christmas is the infancy of the Faith, and most people find it pretty easy to be happy about about their Faith at this time of year -- at least in the good moments. Even when the season is stressful or exhausting, most of us at least occasionally taste those golden moments where the music is right, the candles are glowing, we're finally holding a mug of something hot, finally hearing the happy murmurs of the baby in the manger.  At the best moments, we love Christmas, baby Jesus loves us, and it … [Read more...]

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Love, Blame and Hope in the Movie MUD

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 PIC Mud posterThis movie wasn't about what is wrong with women, or what is wrong with men. It was more about how difficult love is, and how little it helps when we lie to ourselves. It was a sorrowful movie, but not a depressing one; and it left lots of room for at least some of the characters to learn from their suffering and to forgive the people who failed them. Yes, the snakes that have been waiting will get you in the end. No, you will not die. But don't let yourself get … [Read more...]

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