How I learned to stop worrying about wifely obedience and love my husband

by Henry William Pickersgill, 1825. This picture cracks me up because you can tell they love each other, but look at those crazy exotic costumes!  One of them is clearly humoring the other.

Ephesians 5:22!  Ephesians 5:22! Let's all panic about Ephesians 5:22!Nah. I'm not afraid of it anymore. But it's not as big of a deal as I thought it was, either.I'm not going to tell you what a Catholic marriage ought to look like. I'm just going to tell you what our marriage looks like, now that I've stopped trying to make it The Catholic Marriage and started letting it be Our Catholic Marriage. When I was first married, I was dying to leap feet first into the perfect … [Read more...]

Life is too short for bad sex with a good husband.

dancing peasant couple

This is the greatest letter I’ve gotten in a million years. It’s from MightyMighty at Letters To Us. I’ve bolded the best lines. She mentions Greg Popcak’s excellent book Holy Sex, which I’ve been meaning to review for a long time; and also references the Real Catholic Love and Sex blog, which is full of good and honest discussions. Here’s the letter:I don't want to be a freaky fan girl, but would like to take a sec to tell you how awesome your book is. I read it during a loooooong period o … [Read more...]

God is faithful, but we’re not marrying God.

Every day, I bless a merciful God that there was no internet to speak of when I was younger. This means there are no insanely humiliating photos of me in a crop top and acid wash harem pants. It also means that I never published an article like this one in Catholic Exchange:  Marriage Is Work.In this piece, which I absolutely would have written as a newlywed, the earnest, not-yet-married Emma Smith hears her secular coworkers lamenting the way their ex-husbands had cheated on them “There’s s … [Read more...]

Why give birth? Why love?

Wow.  Many, many thanks to Garard Nadal for posting this incredibly pro-life short film from Unilever:I do not know what Unilever's Project Sunlight is about, but man, the clip is lovely, and will do much good. A great companion, as a matter of fact, to this comic illustrating a quote from C.S. Lewis, who died fifty years ago today.  (Thanks to Jason Bach for sharing the comic on Facebook!)Hope doesn't mean you know nothing will go wrong.  As Lewis says: The alternative to tragedy, o … [Read more...]

An unthinkable story of love

Devin Rose has written a harrowing account of their adoption story.  It begins, Several years ago we adopted three children. We are no longer their parents. This is the story of what happened. Everyone should read this.  Everyone.  It is so important.  It's not only about adoption, it's about making decisions in love.  God bless Devin and Katie and all of the children they love and care for.  I am so grateful to them for having the courage to express these dreadful truths so clearly. … [Read more...]

Because my husband said I should . . .

Here is an excerpt from the chapter I'm contributing to a book about marriage: Children give our bodies purpose.  I always have to laugh when people complain, “The Church treats women like baby-making machines!”  The truth is, the secular world is the one that treats women that way—and expends tremendous amounts of money and effort in trying to find the “off” button, often putting women through years of physical and psychological contortions with one kind of contraception after another.The C … [Read more...]

Catholic Digest: Pro-life Even at the End of Life

Oops, just realized I have a second article in the latest edition of Catholic Digest.  Do get your hands on this one if you can!  The strength and clarity of the people I interviewed is just astonishing. I wish I had had enough space to include all of what they had to say about making end-of-life decisions for the people they love.I wrote about the experience of tackling this harrowing subject in a post called "Bright Wings."  I'm just going to reprint it here (it ran first in the Register on … [Read more...]


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