Love isn’t supposed to be efficient.

HANS_MEMLING_BRUGES_CHRIST_BLESSING

Jesus died for everybody, true. But He also died for each of us, specifically, individually, lovingly. Inefficiently. He would have died just for me. Why, I do not know. But I know it wasn't just poetic license when God says that the hairs on my head are counted. Salvation is not some kind of corporate endeavor for maximum efficiency. It's not efficient, and, thank God, it's not fairRead the rest on the Register. ***Image: By Hans Memling (c. 1430-1494) [Public domain], via Wik … [Read more...]

On Valentine’s day, communication, and not getting kicked in the nuts

Here lies Doug, the perfect husband

 This year, I revealed to my husband that I actually kind of like Valentine’s Day.  This is despite all the times I told him that I hated it, it’s lame and stupid, and a made-up, over-commercialized saccharine-fest invented by Hallmark and Big Floral.   For fourteen years, the poor man has been wondering why, every February 14, I would say I wasn’t mad at him, while I was clearly mad at him.I was mad, you see, because everyone else was getting flowers and riding in heart-shaped hot a … [Read more...]

Loving the adult Jesus

Christmas is the infancy of the Faith, and most people find it pretty easy to be happy about about their Faith at this time of year -- at least in the good moments. Even when the season is stressful or exhausting, most of us at least occasionally taste those golden moments where the music is right, the candles are glowing, we're finally holding a mug of something hot, finally hearing the happy murmurs of the baby in the manger.  At the best moments, we love Christmas, baby Jesus loves us, and it … [Read more...]

Love, Blame and Hope in the Movie MUD

mud

 PIC Mud posterThis movie wasn't about what is wrong with women, or what is wrong with men. It was more about how difficult love is, and how little it helps when we lie to ourselves. It was a sorrowful movie, but not a depressing one; and it left lots of room for at least some of the characters to learn from their suffering and to forgive the people who failed them. Yes, the snakes that have been waiting will get you in the end. No, you will not die. But don't let yourself get … [Read more...]

Men, try whispering these seven simple words into your woman’s ear, and watch her melt.

words of love

"I did that insurance paperwork for you."PIC woman swooning  … [Read more...]

Why I don’t say “I’m so blessed.”

grunewald crucifixion

The other day, a woman lashed out at me for announcing my latest pregnancy online. This particular woman's stock in trade is lashing out; and since I'm pretty sure I don't (as she accused me of doing) parade my perfect children around like perfect trophies to prove that I'm a perfect Catholic mom, I didn't give her anger much thought. Just another angry person on the internet.Later, out of curiosity, I read more of her comments. And then my heart broke.It was a lot of what I expected: Y … [Read more...]

How I learned to stop worrying about wifely obedience and love my husband

James Silk Buckingham and His Wife Elizabeth in Arab Costume, by Henry William Pickersgill, 1825. This picture cracks me up because you can tell they love each other, but one of them is clearly humoring the other

Ephesians 5:22!  Ephesians 5:22! Let's all panic about Ephesians 5:22!Nah. I'm not afraid of it anymore. But it's not as big of a deal as I thought it was, either.I'm not going to tell you what a Catholic marriage ought to look like. I'm just going to tell you what our marriage looks like, now that I've stopped trying to make it The Catholic Marriage and started letting it be Our Catholic Marriage. When I was first married, I was dying to leap feet first into the perfect … [Read more...]


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