On complaining honestly about NFP (and other crosses)

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Want to complain about NFP? Far be it from me to stop you! You could even go ahead and write a whole book about how hard NFP can be, and see where that gets you. (Psst, it's still on sale! $5 paperback, $2.99 eb0ok) . Couples who are struggling are very grateful to hear that they're not the only ones who hate NFP. There's nothing worse than feeling like, not only are you having a miserable time, but you're the only ones who aren't lovin' every minute of it. . Happily, the conversation about N … [Read more...]

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Will the Catholic Church be hurt by the Supreme Court’s ruling on gay marriage?

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Hats off to everyone who was surprised by today's Supreme Court ruling that states cannot constitutionally ban gay marriage. Hats off for your optimism and your faith in the judicial branch!Those of us with a more jaded view knew that this ruling was inevitable, and that the seeds for this decision were sown decades ago, when contraception and no fault divorce became the norm.  If marriage is just a financial and emotional arrangement to make adults happy, why not gay marriage? If marriage is … [Read more...]

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I just had the ultimate married couple conversation

Fine, we're both nuts.

Me: Did you find those packets of nuts I put in your car? I know they say "100 calorie packs," but I just got them because they were packets of nuts.Him: I know.Me: I just wanted you to know that. I wasn't thinking about how many calories you eat.Him: I know. Thanks. I ate them.Me: I know, I counted how many were left.Him: I ate them angrily.Me: Wha? But -- but they're nuts.Him: So am I. … [Read more...]

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Only a rightly-ordered heart feels grief

Fra_Angelico_053

  e know some couples who don't fight very much, but they don't seem to really enjoy each other, either. They more or less leave each other alone, with a sort of low-level, courteous disdain for each other's enthusiasms and flaws alike. They never experience the agony of rupture because they've carefully cordoned themselves off from any passionate unity. They are indifferent, because it's easier. And this indifference is a tragic waste of marriage.Read the rest at the … [Read more...]

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On Valentine’s day, communication, and not getting kicked in the nuts

Here lies Doug, the perfect husband

 This year, I revealed to my husband that I actually kind of like Valentine’s Day.  This is despite all the times I told him that I hated it, it’s lame and stupid, and a made-up, over-commercialized saccharine-fest invented by Hallmark and Big Floral.   For fourteen years, the poor man has been wondering why, every February 14, I would say I wasn’t mad at him, while I was clearly mad at him.I was mad, you see, because everyone else was getting flowers and riding in heart-shaped hot a … [Read more...]

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How I learned to stop worrying about wifely obedience and love my husband

James Silk Buckingham and His Wife Elizabeth in Arab Costume, by Henry William Pickersgill, 1825. This picture cracks me up because you can tell they love each other, but one of them is clearly humoring the other

Ephesians 5:22!  Ephesians 5:22! Let's all panic about Ephesians 5:22!Nah. I'm not afraid of it anymore. But it's not as big of a deal as I thought it was, either.I'm not going to tell you what a Catholic marriage ought to look like. I'm just going to tell you what our marriage looks like, now that I've stopped trying to make it The Catholic Marriage and started letting it be Our Catholic Marriage. When I was first married, I was dying to leap feet first into the perfect … [Read more...]

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Hooray for the African Queen!

african queen

Along with Thirty-two Short Films About Glenn Gould, which I only put into our Netflix queue to see if my husband really loved me, The African Queen has been languishing in the “saved” category for over a year, waiting until the movie should be released on DVD.We finally got to see it last week, and it was such a treat – all the more so now that I have 12 years of marriage under my belt, and can see that this is a movie about more than leeches after all (but still:  brrrrrrr).I am  a litt … [Read more...]

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