How I learned to stop worrying about wifely obedience and love my husband

by Henry William Pickersgill, 1825. This picture cracks me up because you can tell they love each other, but look at those crazy exotic costumes!  One of them is clearly humoring the other.

Ephesians 5:22!  Ephesians 5:22! Let's all panic about Ephesians 5:22!Nah. I'm not afraid of it anymore. But it's not as big of a deal as I thought it was, either.I'm not going to tell you what a Catholic marriage ought to look like. I'm just going to tell you what our marriage looks like, now that I've stopped trying to make it The Catholic Marriage and started letting it be Our Catholic Marriage. When I was first married, I was dying to leap feet first into the perfect … [Read more...]

Hooray for the African Queen!

african queen

Along with Thirty-two Short Films About Glenn Gould, which I only put into our Netflix queue to see if my husband really loved me, The African Queen has been languishing in the “saved” category for over a year, waiting until the movie should be released on DVD.We finally got to see it last week, and it was such a treat – all the more so now that I have 12 years of marriage under my belt, and can see that this is a movie about more than leeches after all (but still:  brrrrrrr).I am  a litt … [Read more...]

Dr. Greg Popcak on marriage after baby

I'm putting together an article for Our Sunday Visitor about how marriages change after a baby is born -- the good, the bad, and the things that need professional intervention (spiritual and otherwise). Dr. Greg Popcak gave me some wonderful information, and he has reprinted our entire interview on his blog. Here's an excerpt: Simcha: I assume you mostly work with Catholic couples. Is the strength of a couple’s faith a good predictor for how well they can work through their problems? This so … [Read more...]

Life is too short for bad sex with a good husband.

dancing peasant couple

This is the greatest letter I’ve gotten in a million years. It’s from MightyMighty at Letters To Us. I’ve bolded the best lines. She mentions Greg Popcak’s excellent book Holy Sex, which I’ve been meaning to review for a long time; and also references the Real Catholic Love and Sex blog, which is full of good and honest discussions. Here’s the letter:I don't want to be a freaky fan girl, but would like to take a sec to tell you how awesome your book is. I read it during a loooooong period o … [Read more...]

At the Register: Doctrine doesn’t change over the phone

Ring-ring. Hello? Hi, it's the Pope, and guess what? It's OPPOSITE DAY! From Conversations that didn't, won't, and wouldn't happen, vol. 836  … [Read more...]

God is faithful, but we’re not marrying God.

Every day, I bless a merciful God that there was no internet to speak of when I was younger. This means there are no insanely humiliating photos of me in a crop top and acid wash harem pants. It also means that I never published an article like this one in Catholic Exchange:  Marriage Is Work.In this piece, which I absolutely would have written as a newlywed, the earnest, not-yet-married Emma Smith hears her secular coworkers lamenting the way their ex-husbands had cheated on them “There’s s … [Read more...]

Try this one weird trick for ending the war on women

You know what would cut through 99% of this crap, where we find ourselves arguing about whether or not saying, "Yes, I want to have sex with you" counts as sufficient consent, and whether or not "bystander intervention training" is sexist, and who's waging a war on whom, and who's winning?  Try following this simple rule: If you are not married, assume there is never consent; and if you are married, treat your spouse like a person, not a thing. I know I know I know. I know all the things, … [Read more...]


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