So, love is not a battlefield?

Hi, I'm The Jerk. You may remember me from such blog posts as; "Surefire Ways to Kill Your Readership," or "You Can't Write That, Hallie Lord Might Be Reading!" Simcha gave me the week off, hoping I would drink myself into a stupor during that time and forget the blog password. Heh, that's why God made tattoo parlors, friends. Now I'm back, relatively sober, and ready for whatever controversies ensue. A word about that: Enough with the death threats, Hallie. You don't scare me. And the … [Read more...]

“I’m not a homosexual. I’m a man.”

Come on over and see me at Faith and Family today (for real this time!), where I have a short interview with a young, gay, faithful Catholic man.  You'll like him -- he's so clean and articulate!  But something tells me Joe Biden would not be impressed. And hello and welcome to Faith and Family and Creative Minority Report readers.  Stick around for tomorrow, when we will  . . . okay, I have no idea what we will be doing tomorrow.  The Jerk, who usually reviews movies on Thursdays, … [Read more...]

Pasty vampires and greasy musclemen a go go!

So far this week, I've talked about cute shoes, not-cute shoes, Burl Ives, Raffi, and photogenic lichen.  Time for a palate cleanser, don't you think?  And so, with some well-justified trepidation, we welcome back . . . Hi, I'm The Jerk. It's awful nice of Simcha to let me back here after last week. Things got a little carried away. I said some things that maybe I shouldn't have. You all said some things maybe you shouldn't have. The way some of you got worked up, you'd think I wrote … [Read more...]

Greatest Movie Ever

(Note:  The Jerk swears a lot.  What do you want?  He's The Jerk.  Tomorrow, the blog will be heartwarming again.  --Simcha) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I’ve been bumped! Here’s the deal: Tuesdays seem to be prime blog viewing days (what do you ladies do with your weeks?) and every time I post a movie review, Simcha loses at least one subscriber. OK, four. Now, I could get all angried up about getting moved, but I get paid … [Read more...]

Enter, The Dragon?

Well, looks like I haven’t been fired yet, so here goes with this week’s thrilling adventure. Before I start, I’d like to thank all of the readers who sent in suggestions for future reviews, both of you. Once I can track down those titles, Troll 2 and The Island of Dr. Moreau, for $5 or less, I will put them on the list. (Hey Paula, your package is being delivered.) I also want to thank Simcha for giving me the space for this nonsense. Yes, I do have incriminating pictures of her, … [Read more...]

If the movie offend thee

You all surprise me.  You really do.  As I write, there are seven comments on The Jerk's first movie review, and not a single one expressing moderate to quivering righteous indignation at the implicit endorsement of a trashy piece of work like Roadhouse.   I was expecting a nice loud chorus of, "AND YOU CALL THIS A CATHOLIC BLOG?"   Boy, if this were Inside Catholic, I'd have been excommunicated at least twice by now (although the second time wouldn't count, because Pope Michael of … [Read more...]

Pain Don’t Hurt

NOTE:  Welcome, Faith and Family readers!  The following post is a new feature on I HAVE TO SIT DOWN.  You  may find it somewhat less edifying than my article on Faith and Family Live today.  That's because it's written by my new co-contributer, who is a much less edifying person than I am.  Beyond that, there really isn't any explanation for what you are about to read. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi, I'm The Jerk. … [Read more...]