How to make your Halloween magnificent!

We never did find out what Wish Bear was so angry about. I thought she looked magnificent.

Our founding fathers didn't die face down in the mud of Vietnam only to see my children struggling through the night with only Mary Janes, Good and Plenty, nameless lollipop blobs, and Bit-o'- Chicken to sustain them, like I did when I was a kid. Those were dark times. We can do better.Read the rest at the Register. … [Read more...]

These 3D printable masks could save Halloween.

mask tiger

Halloween is in eight days.  So far, I have (a) ordered one light blue hoodie from Ebay and (b) yelled at everybody.  Since we have to come up with nine costumes -- or 17, really, since the older kids always pick a trick-or-treating costume that would be inappropriate for school, and so we have to come up with a second costume that won't trigger an automatic lock-down. Thank goodness we're terrible Catholics and quietly ignore All Saint's Day, except for going to Mass, or we'd be looking at eig … [Read more...]

Why Benny doesn’t walk the dog

photo (15)

As imagined by my nine-year-old:   My  husband pointed out that, while the older kids are almost always gentle and patient with Benny in real life, they jerk her around a lot in their art. Whoop, there she goes! … [Read more...]

In which I narrowly avoid Jesus Juking the heck out of you

sunflower house

Back in the spring, I said to myself, "This is the year! This is the year I'm going to plant one of those glorious sunflower bowers for the children."  "This is so simple, even I can't screw it up!" I thought.  "They can pretend they are fairies living in a flower fairy home, and it will be a Nice Childhood Memory Guaranteed!"So, we chose some seeds that become hardy, mammoth flowers, we picked a sunny spot, measured out a generous circle, dug, fertilized, planted a … [Read more...]

What are you doing for catechism this year?

All right, YOU catechise this, if you're so smart.

For the older kids, in 7th, 8th, 10th, and 11th grades, I give up. Wait, no, that's not what I meant to say out loud. What I meant to say is that we haven't found either EDGE or LifeTeen to be a good match for our family, and every time I try to read something aloud to the kids, or do a pre-packaged curriculum with them, something happens to capsize the whole endeavor.  It's some combination of the kids being in three different schools, and me and my husband working four different jobs, and the … [Read more...]

Yes, your kids can pack their own lunches. BUT . . .

photo (56)

You really do want to check them before they leave the house.  Not that there is anything wrong with an actually quite balanced and hearty meal consisting of ham, carrots, apple sauce, an apple, yogurt, and ...  bread-and-butter balls. "It's just something I invented," the kindergartner mentions casually.And then we have this meal prepared by the third grader:   who is willing to face the day knowing she has peanuts, two cold … [Read more...]

How to make a shelf in, like, two minutes

photo (8)

1. Get a milk crate, find a strong clothes hanger, force the arms of the hanger through holes in the sides of the crate, and force the hook through a hole in the top.2. Put a screw in the wall.  If your husband is watching, use a stud finder first.  Hang the hook on the screw.3. Ta-dah!  You now have somewhere in which to keep your best toy ever so your baby sister doesn't get it. You can also keep things on top. This is not the sturdiest shelf in the world, ob … [Read more...]


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X