TF: Loopholes and paradoxes

In a crowded market, you have to carve out a niche. The market for End-Times, Bible-"prophecy" hucksterism is very crowded, so Tim LaHaye has to introduce some edge, some peculiar twist or innovation to set apart his brand. His personal variation on the standard Darby/Scofield formula includes several unique, idiosyncratic quirks that distinguish his version from that of his rivals.

Such quirks function at least two ways. First, they provide market differentiation — Why should I buy LaHaye's books instead of, say, John Hagee's? Why order LaHaye's video series instead of Jack Van Impe's? Because, LaHaye can say, my message is different — better, new and improved.

Second, these slight variations create the illusion of a spectrum of diverse views while actually constraining the perceived range of options for his followers and those of his rivals. By picking fights over the esoteric details that separate them, prophecy gurus establish the parameters of what is imaginable for their followers. It's like the bar owner in The Blues Brothers who says his bar offers "both kinds" of music, "country and western." The Bible-prophecy literature is thus filled with references to the conflict among "pre-trib" and "post-trib" and "mid-trib" rapturists, reinforcing the idea that these are the only possible views and that, whichever one chooses, belief in the Rapture and in the broad outlines of Darby's scheme will always be a given.

All such subcultures seem to have some variation of internal disputes that function this way — precluding any consideration of external views. Keep the in-group focused on the conflict between Team Edward and Team Jacob and the followers will not imagine any additional possibilities, such as maybe Team These Books Aren't Very Good.

I'm bringing this up now because we're about to reach a critical point in our survey of Tribulation Force related to one of LaHaye's more significant variations to the standard formula. Our cast of characters is slowly — very slowly — making its way toward Jerusalem for the signing of a weirdly construed and superfluous-seeming peace treaty between Israel and the Antichrist's OWG (or, I guess, his One-World-Minus-Israel Government).

This treaty is part of the standard Bible-prophecy scheme, which bases the idea on something taken from the book of Daniel (reshaped, twisted in half, melted down and then reinterpreted). But LaHaye gives it added significance. For Tim LaHaye, the signing of this treaty marks the official beginning of the seven-year Great Tribulation.

For most other End-Times authors, this seven-year countdown begins with the Rapture — an event that occurred several weeks and several hundred pages ago at the beginning of the first book. My initial immersion in the world of Bible-prophecy mania came via Hal Lindsey and the Dallas Seminary/Philadelphia College of the Bible faction, so it's taken some adjustment for me to adapt to LaHaye's framework. I have occasionally lapsed here by referring to the Tribulation as something that has already begun in our story when, for LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, that won't be true until after the treaty signing.

In my defense, though, the authors themselves seem to forget this distinction occasionally as well, such as by referring to their team of protagonists as the "Tribulation Force" rather than, more accurately, as the "Interim-Between-the-Rapture-and-the-Tribulation Force."

The murky period in which everything in these books thus far has occurred is something like injury time in a soccer game — an additional span of time of uncertain length, in this case before the game clock starts.

LaHaye imagines that this interval will be brief, and in these books it is portrayed as a matter of just a few short weeks (dragged out over a book and a half), but there's no guarantee that such an interval would play out this way. It creates the potential for a kind of prophetic paradox. What if Israel refuses to sign the treaty for months, or for years, or for generations? LaHaye doesn't consider this a possibility — if his prophecies say they'll sign the treaty, they they will sign the treaty, promptly, in keeping with the preordained divine check list and timeline.

But why should they? For Hal Lindsey, the final countdown starts with a divine act — the Rapture sets the seven-year hourglass in motion and what follows is inexorable. But LaHaye puts that hourglass in human hands. Starting the countdown is not up to God in his scheme, so free will and fallibility are now part of the equation. If Israel were to refuse such a treaty, we would enter an unprophesied limbo — a post-Rapture world in which the Tribulation never begins and the End never comes.

And here's the really odd part: Tim LaHaye and his premillennial dispensationalist allies across America have been determinedly working for decades to make this paradox happen. They've poured millions of dollars into this effort, creating a powerful political lobby organized around the core principle that, because of alleged biblical prophecies, Israel must never, ever sign any peace treaties with anyone. That effort has borne fruit, empowering a wing of nationalist conservative Israeli political parties who are fervently committed to this position.

In the fictional fantasy of the Left Behind series, LaHaye undoes all of that with a wave of a magic wand, turning Israel into a nation eager to sign treaties willy nilly. But that's nonsense, utterly impossible in this world, our world, the real world. In the real world, the idea of quickly and easily getting Israel to sign a disadvantageous peace treaty is about as likely as … as … as, well, getting Israel to quickly and easily sign a disadvantageous peace treaty. "Peace in the Middle East" has become a proverbial, emblematic shorthand — the very symbol of an intractable problem that will never be resolved. By making the resolution of this problem the prerequisite for the official start of the Great Tribulation, LaHaye makes his whole prophetic check list conditional. He creates a loophole.

A squadron of wrathful angels awaits in LaHaye's Heaven — fingers on the trigger of the apocalypse. They stand ready to open the seals and pour out the bowls of judgment, but — according to Tim LaHaye — they cannot do so until Israel signs this peace treaty.

This loophole, this flaw, is the prophetic equivalent of a ray-shielded thermal exhaust port leading directly to the heart of its core reactor. It's just the sort of thing that any real hero would be compelled to try to exploit.

LaHaye's protagonists aren't real heroes. They share his view that global conquest by the Antichrist, plagues, famines, earthquakes, mass-death and the end of the world are all "God's will" and, therefore, not to be interfered with. But surely some actual heroes could still be found among the other 4 billion people left behind after the Rapture. Untouched by LaHaye's doctrine of despair, they would oppose the rise of evil and calamity. They would do what heroes always do: Try to save the world.

GILES: It's the end of the world. Everyone dies. It's rather important, really.

WILLOW: So what do we do?

BUFFY: I stop it.

A real hero really would — and thanks to LaHaye's loophole, could — stop it. That would derail LaHaye's prophecy and his and Jenkins' plot. To avoid that, they portray a world without heroes — a world full of people apparently unmotivated even by simple self-preservation. No one in these books tries to exploit the prophetic loopholes or to reset the hourglass or stop the treadmill.

That effectively preserves the plot, but it comes at the cost of making the books' protagonists a bunch of inhuman
sociopaths. By maintaining their intended plot, they alter
their intended theme. (At least, I don't think "be a sociopath" was their intended theme.)

LaHaye believes an Antichrist-Israel peace treaty is prophesied, and thus creates a world in which such a treaty is less likely to occur. This is a smaller version of a larger paradox involving these books. The Left Behind series offers a depiction of what the authors insist is a guaranteed prediction. But for that prediction to come to pass as depicted — for their prophecies to come true — the vast majority of people in the post-Rapture world would have to be ignorant of what they're predicting. The popularity of the books thus suggests that those prediction won't and can't come true.

LaHaye's peculiar timeline exacerbates this paradox, but it's part of every other PMD scheme as well. Hal Lindsey's best-selling 1970s books all detailed prophecies that could only come true if no one knew what was coming. The fact that his books were such best-sellers therefore meant that the events he foretold could not occur the way he described.

Lindsey's response to that problem, like LaHaye's, was an assertion of fate and fatalism. If the prophecy says that the whole world will blindly follow the Antichrist, then that is what must and will happen and nothing that anyone knows or does will change that. Knowing or not knowing, they insist, won't make any difference. Acting or not acting will not and cannot change what is to come.

This fatalism kind of puts a damper on the action-steps portion of a PMD sermon. "There's nothing you can do to change anything" isn't a very practical or applicable take-home message. PMD preachers always urge their followers to be watchful and vigilant for signs of the End Times, but always, at the same time, they remind them that it doesn't matter whether or not they heed this call.

Premillennial pessimism and fatalism just doesn't provide the basis for any sensible social agenda or movement. "The world is getting worse and worse and there's nothing you can do because it's God's will," discourages any effort to improve the status quo. It's a call to complacency.

"Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven," is, for the fatalistic PMD Christian, merely an expression of the belief that whatever is must therefore be divinely ordained. The passive voice of that phrase from the Lord's Prayer is allowed to mask the subject of the sentence — to pretend it doesn't really have one. The do-er is not named or acknowledged. God's will will "be done," but no one, in particular, will have to do it.

There's no logical escape from this implication of PMD fatalism, but it's not what Tim LaHaye wants from his followers. He wants them aggressively working to change the world, singing the "Battle Hymn of the Republic" as though they were a bunch of optimistic 19th-century post-millennialists. He wants them lining up to support his wife's efforts, through Concerned Women for America, to ensure that discrimination against homosexuals remains perfectly legal. He wants them to join him in fighting for the same political agenda he has supported ever since his days in the John Birch Society — anti-Communist, anti-government, anti-civil rights, anti-worker, anti-hippie, anti-peacenik, anti-modern. He wants them to rally behind him as he stands athwart history yelling "Stop!"

But there's no reason for LaHaye's followers to join a rally, a fight or a campaign. He's already told them that none of that can matter, none of it can change anything. The future is preordained and immutable. The world is doomed and trying to change that is a lost cause.

Here we encounter one more paradox, and this one simply confounds me. Premillennial pessimism and fatalism are ascendant in American evangelicalism. This is a view that, explicitly, teaches that heroism is for suckers and any attempt to change the world is futile. And yet these premillennial believers are more politically active than previous generations of evangelicals and fundamentalists.

The only explanation I can offer for this is that their convoluted theology confuses them even more than it confuses me.

  • Amarylis

    The 757 thing may have been mentioned before, but that’s okay, it fits right in with one of our well-loved comment templates: “It’s probably been said before, but I just can’t get over how stupid it is…”
    And welcome, Moose, but really, all of LB/TF in one week?! It’s a wonder you can still read at all.

  • Flying sardines

    @softestbullet | Sep 21, 2010 at 01:39 AM :
    Now I really want the epic crossover fanfic where Buffy Stops It.
    Me too. Seconded.
    Also HOORAY for the return of LB days! :-D
    @Justin | Sep 21, 2010 at 02:56 AM :
    Considering the references to Buffy and Twilight, I’ve got something Fred might like.
    In a Hot Topic store, I saw a t-shirt that said “…And Buffy staked Edward. The End”.

    ROTFLMAO! :-)

  • http://profile.typepad.com/rajexplorer Raj

    Hey FlyingSardines!
    I know it’s the wrong thread, but I thought posting this comment here might make you more likely to read it. I just want to say that I really appreciate your taking the time and making the effort to rethink your position on the so-called Ground Zero Mosque, and then apologizing for any offense given. (No, I’m not a Muslim, never have been one, and am extremely unlikely ever to become one. I have no affinity whatsoever to Islam.)
    Why yes, I am a little behind in Slacktivist Studies. Speaking of which:
    Moose, did you take one of those mega-speed-reading courses or something? Anyway, welcome, be aware that the booby is our State Bird, and please don’t kill us with sheep.

  • http://profile.typepad.com/rajexplorer Raj

    Moose: Now, I grant you, I am the sort of guy who, watching a movie, goes “Hey, this is supposed to be a Battle of Britain scene, but that’s the mid-war Hurricane IIC! How could they miss that?”
    You’re not alone. I’m the sort of guy who, watching a movie about the Trojan War or Hercules, goes, “WTF are Doric columns doing in a Mycenaean city?”

  • Flying sardines

    @Raj | Sep 24, 2010 at 09:01 AM :
    Hey FlyingSardines!
    I know it’s the wrong thread, but I thought posting this comment here might make you more likely to read it. I just want to say that I really appreciate your taking the time and making the effort to rethink your position on the so-called Ground Zero Mosque, and then apologizing for any offense given. (No, I’m not a Muslim, never have been one, and am extremely unlikely ever to become one. I have no affinity whatsoever to Islam.) Why yes, I am a little behind in Slacktivist Studies.

    Thanks Raj. :-)
    *You’re* a little behind here..?? I hate to think how far behind that makes me! ;-)
    Afraid I can never quite seem to catch up on all the comments here. Which is a shame coz so many of them are just so good.

  • K.

    This is for all of you who are dying to see Buffy v. Edward. The artist who put this video together is, IMHO, downright brilliant.
    http://www.rebelliouspixels.com/2009/buffy-vs-edward-twilight-remixed

  • http://guy-who-reads.blogspot.com/ Mike Timonin

    Afraid I can never quite seem to catch up on all the comments here.
    At some point, I just give up. If someone has said something interesting or useful since I left for work (or from work, or whatever), it will be quoted in a later comment. Usually I’ll go back to the last comment I read or two pages of comments, whichever is less. The problem is time zones – there’s never really a down time when someone isn’t reading the comments and replying somewhere in the world, so there’s rarely a gap in which to catch up.

  • http://apocalypsereview.wordpress.com/ Pius Thicknesse

    I try to, but if I leave too long of a gap between visits here it can be possible for me to just get snoooooowed under. Halp. :O

  • Hawker Hurricane

    Moose: Now, I grant you, I am the sort of guy who, watching a movie, goes “Hey, this is supposed to be a Battle of Britain scene, but that’s the mid-war Hurricane IIC! How could they miss that?”
    You’re not alone. I’m the sort of guy who, watching a movie about the Trojan War or Hercules, goes, “WTF are Doric columns doing in a Mycenaean city?”
    Posted by: Raj
    ———————
    I do this also. But I’ll make excuses depending on when and how the movie was made. For instance, the movie “Battle of Britain” used actual Supermarine Spitfires, Hawker Hurricanes, Messerschmidt bf 109s, and Heinkal He-111s. The fact that they were late war models (for the British) or re-engined (for the German) is perfectly excuseable, since they were Actual Planes.
    In Tora, Tora, Tora, almost all the Japanese planes were heavily modified T-6 ‘Texan’ trainers. The American planes tended to be late war models also. And in the backround, you can see then modern Knox class frigates. But once again, these were Actual Planes and Actually filmed in Pearl Harbor.
    But there was this movie recently called “Pearl Harbor”, which included scenes set in the Battle of Britain. The planes in the air were all CGI. The ones on the ground were Hollywood mockups. How the hell did they get the planes wrong? And in the Pearl Harbor attack sequence, in the foreground they have thier multi-million dollar mock ups of the stern of the Oklahoma and the bow of the Arizona (filmed in Mexico), and in the backround modern Spruance class destroyers.
    And I spent the Dolittle Raid sequence counting off the errors in history. Ack!
    This rant brought to you by a internet know it all. Only you can prevent further attacks!

  • http://extremelyevilmusic.blogspot.com/ Murfyn

    I placed a nice one minute instrumental version of Battle Hymn on a YouTube I did about resistors in series and parallel. It was early in the program and I was quite inspired by the equations.
    Also, the army paratrooper version of Battle Hymn. Has no particular bearing on the TF series that I am aware of . . .

  • http://city-of-ladies.blogspot.com Rebecca

    If you can find a way to mix Jed Bartlett into it, you would pretty much exhaust the world’s supply of Win.
    Am I the only one who isn’t a fan of Jed Bartlett? I mean, I would prefer having him as the president to a lot of other people, but as a character, I can’t say I like him. I’m more a fan of, er, most of the rest of the cast. (As of Season 2, at least. I’m slowly making my way through.)

  • Lori

    I mean, I would prefer having him as the president to a lot of other people, but as a character, I can’t say I like him. I’m more a fan of, er, most of the rest of the cast. (As of Season 2, at least. I’m slowly making my way through.)

    I wouldn’t want him as a husband, dad or best buddy. As a president I’d take him in a heartbeat. Since that’s what he mostly is on the show I thought he worked as a character. Also, unlike a number of the other characters he didn’t get more annoying as the show went on. The level of asshatedness that made him hide his medical condition is pretty much as bad as it got. There were a few other characters that I started out liking and ended up wanting to smack. Some of that was a function of Sorkin leaving the show, but not all of it.

  • hf, Supreme High Lamb-y Dragon-y Person of Christians for the Antichrist

    Besides, I maintain my defense that the real villain of these books is LB!Jesus. Hey, maybe they’d have a “lesser of two evils” moment and temporarily team up with me to take him down? Then maybe I could escape before I get pounded too?
    Sorry, if the story involves the Doctor (Tom Baker seems good in everything but Matt Smith seems more natural if we start with Buffy) then someone will probably kill you to prove you’re the Decoy.
    And I just realized TurboJesus knew that, so he made sure to use a second Decoy in the form of Satan. Fiendishly clever for a Doctor Who villain, he probably even knows how to look sideways. Perhaps he even knew our heroes would show up — he sure didn’t need the extra effort just to confuse the Tribbles.
    Lee wrote: The reason why many Democratic politicians are milquetoast is because a good chunk of Democratic voters, especially the older ones like milquetoast politicians.
    Must refrain from posting Just So Story about Lee…

  • http://profile.typepad.com/shiftercat ShifterCat

    The “Buffy Staked Edward” shirt is originally from Jinx.com. Here’s one. They also have a ladies’ fit version.

  • Caravelle

    Lori :

    I wouldn’t want him as a husband, dad or best buddy. As a president I’d take him in a heartbeat.

    I would’ve agreed with you for most of the show’s run but I started feeling more ambivalent when the WOT started showing up and he ordered somebody’s assassination. What bothered me was that do to this he went against an executive order against such assassinations… an executive order written by himself years before. What was he thinking when he wrote that executive order in the first place, and why wasn’t he thinking of it anymore when he walked it back ? This wasn’t some unforeseeable ticking-bomb scenario, he was in exactly the kind of situation when one might consider assassination as a possible solution. The kind of situation he should’ve considered when he decided to ban assassinations in the first place.
    Then again given how Obama’s been doing on that front I should probably cut Bartlett some slack now.

  • Lori

    I would’ve agreed with you for most of the show’s run but I started feeling more ambivalent when the WOT started showing up and he ordered somebody’s assassination.

    Do you mean the guy he ordered killed on that airstrip in the middle of nowhere? I didn’t mind that so much because that ended up biting him in the ass in a big way instead of being treated as a brilliant display of “resolve” and he acknowledged that it was a mistake. Frankly I tend to assume that most presidents have done similar things. That doesn’t mean that I approve, but it does mean that it doesn’t hurt him in comparison to the people we actually have in the Oval Office.
    If you’re referencing something that happened later in the show then I probably didn’t see it. I didn’t watch consistently after Sorkin left and personally tend to treat anything that happened in those last couple seasons as non-canon.

  • http://www.topqualityessays.com Cathy Williams

    Thanks for developing my interest in the two relative terms of your topic. I have never heard this before but now, I am aware of the terms:)Frankly speaking I am impressed the way you have drafted your entry
    Thesis Papers

  • fairmack

    [I saw this on the web & offer it without comment!]
    I’m surprised to see anyone still using “Dr.” Thomas Ice as an authority. His so-called “Ph.D” came from a tiny Texas school that was fined by the state of Texas for illegally issuing degrees (Google “America’s Pretrib Rapture Traffickers”)! And Google “Thomas Ice (Bloopers)” which reveals that he somehow left out a collective total of 49 words when he reproduced Margaret Macdonald’s 1830 revelation – the same 49 words in the same places that Tim LaHaye omitted when it reproduced it three years later! Ice also had four copying errors that Hal Lindsey had when he had reproduced it three years before Ice did! (So-called prophecy experts habitually (mis)copy each other, warts and all, instead of doing their own research!) Also Google “Pretrib Rapture Diehards,” “Deceiving and Being Deceived” by Dave MacPherson, and (the most shocking) “Pretrib Rapture Dishonesty.” Now you know why many these days are swapping pretrib for midtrib, prewrath, or posttrib!

  • Kit

    I got quite a giggle out of this one, whereas I usually just smile quietly throughout. Sometimes you refer to the Tribulation with the shorthand “trib”, which I first auto-associate with tribadism. So imagine my glee to read “‘pre-trib’ and ‘post-trib’ and ‘mid-trib’ rapturists”. Homosexual Agenda indeed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1149750585 Monica Swanson

    I think LB needs an equivalent to Twilight’s “Team Tyler’s Van” which was invented by anti-fans who wanted Bella to get run over, instead of getting saved by Edward and setting the plot in motion.

  • Jesus

    Could you please tag this post, and the following ones, with “LEFT BEHIND”? Apparently Patheos lets you mark things both as “tagged” and as “filed under”, and searching for one doesn’t show me the others. So I’m trying to read your Left Behind back issues, and there are these huge year-long gaps in them…


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X