Satan, Hitler, Antichrist

Some of us use the game “rock, paper, scissors” to decide who has to wash the dishes or pay the bar tab. Some use the game “Satan, Hitler, Antichrist” to decide that Others are intrinsically evil and thus We must be intrinsically righteous.

I like “rock, paper, scissors,” in part, because playing it is not a sin and because playing it does not turn you into an insufferable, delusional jackwagon incapable of self-knowledge.

– – – – – – – – – – – –

SATAN

Rick Joyner, Morningstar Ministries:

Even if the accusers all prove to be liars and deceivers, this does not prove that something did not happen. Doubts have been raised about Herman Cain’s character that will taint him with many for the rest of his life. …

My point is that you can be the most pure, perfectly righteous person to ever walk the earth, be falsely accused of heinous behavior, and many, if not most, people will believe it. The “father of lies” is called “the accuser of the brethren” for a reason. For thousands of years, he has been doing much of his evil with accusations. He has destroyed the reputations, and sometimes the lives, of many very good people, and some of the world’s best people.

Rep. Randy Neugebauer, R-Texas:

Baby killer!

Bill Keller, “evangelist”:

“During President Obama’s nearly three years in office, he has proven by his words and deeds to be a true enemy of God,” Keller said in a statement released on Monday. “He has been the most pro-death president in history through his support of the killing of innocent babies, he has been a staunch ally of the radical homosexual agenda, and a true friend to the enemies of Israel.

“While Mitt Romney has been willing to change his core beliefs on critical spiritual issues like abortion and gay marriage, he has never denounced his beliefs of the satanic Mormon cult!” added Keller.

Michael Bresciani, Renew America:

There is little doubt that the entire gay and lesbian community is guided by a powerful demon spirit who is subordinate to Satan.

Joanne Highley, LIFE NYC:

We definitely cleanse and bind demonic powers out of females’ uterus cavities, out of genitals and, of course, out of anal canals and out of intestines, out of throats and mouths if there’s been ungodly deposit of semen in those areas. …

As you renounce the homosexual sin that you are practising as evil, the other person can command the demons to leave you so that you can choose a godly response to temptation.

HITLER

Ray Comfort, creator of abortion-is-the-Holocaust film “180”:

Germany lawfully slaughtered six million Jews. America has lawfully slaughtered nearly ten times that amount.

ANTICHRIST

Michael Bresciani, Renew America

If we use the Bible alone to answer the question it will show that the rise in gay activism is not only a new low for the nation but it is part and parcel to last day’s prophecy. It is only a small part of a pervasive deepening of immorality that the Bible says must precede the rise of the antichrist and the final judgments of God against a rebellious and totally reprobate generation.

Gordon Klingenschmitt, former military chaplain

A Catholic chapel, a Protestant chapel, must be opened up or the chaplain who refuses to do that will be punished for disobeying disorders, or discriminating against homosexual weddings. Of course, the chaplain may have the option to not preside at the wedding ceremony itself but he does not have the option to keep his sacred space, and keep the chapel, from being desecrated.

White House shooter Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez

 

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  • Anonymous

    Not to mention, while six million people were killed in the Holocaust,
    only five out of six were Jews.  That other million was made up of Roma
    (Gypsies), Communists, gay men, and people who were politically opposed
    to Hitler’s rise to power.

    Really?  I always heard it was 6 million Jews and 5-6 million “others” to include Roma, Communiss, gay men, inconvenient Germans, etc.

  • Anonymous

    I am continually amazed at how dang obsessed the
    Conservatives are with the genitals and various body cavities of
    QUILTBAG folks, and what said folks supposedly do or don’t do with them.

    Sometimes I wonder if they stick their fingers in their ears and imagine that people whose sexual relationships they actually approve of aren’t actually deviating from sex they actually approve of.

    Along I-75 here in Tennessee, almost to the Kentucky border, there’s a humongous sex store called Adult World.  Next to it is a Shell that sells beer.  I bet the local Baptists don’t recognize each other in either place.

  • Lori

    Totally OT, but of interest to a fair number of slacktivites: The Atlantic has a link up to the hour-long documentary Terry Pratchett: Choosing To Die, which is about Pratchett’s exploration of the possibility of assisted suicide in the face of his diagnosis with early onset Alzheimer’s.  

    http://www.theatlantic.com/life/archive/2011/11/choosing-to-die-a-sick-sir-terry-pratchett-explores-assisted-suicide/248638/?&utm_content=Google+Reader

  • Anonymous

    The Atlantic has a link up to the hour-long documentary Terry Pratchett: Choosing To Die,
    which is about Pratchett’s exploration of the possibility of assisted
    suicide in the face of his diagnosis with early onset Alzheimer’s. 

    Thanks for the link, but I can’t.  I just can’t. I don’t want to spend the rest of the evening bawling my eyes out.

  • Lori

     Really?  I always heard it was 6 million Jews and 5-6 million “others” to include Roma, Communiss, gay men, inconvenient Germans, etc.  

     

    For various reasons its difficult to pin down exact numbers, but this is closer to correct. The best available estimates of Jewish deaths are around 6 million. Other targeted groups such as Slavs, the Rom, LGBTQ, the physically & mentally handicapped and mentally ill add an additional 5-11 million victims. Most scholars say the total was in the 11-13 million range, but the most expansive definition puts the total at more than 17 million. 

  • I think most right-wingers would consider this hair-splitting, but IFAIK only male-male homosexuality is technically proscribed by Leviticus. Like every other red-blooded heterosexual male, Yahweh’s cool with the lesbians. 

  • Only if their vice is hard liquor: ‘OUT! OUT! Unclean spirits!’

  • Joshua

    I recall the Encyclopaedia Judaica put the number of Jews exterminated in the holocaust  at 5.8 million, basing the figure on a comparison of before-and-after census records in the affected countries.

    Numbers of gay, Roma and communist dead are not included. I remember a figure of 4 million from somewhere, but I can’t remember for sure if it was all of those or some subset. It may have been the number of homosexuals, according to the material at the Dachau memorial in Germany.

  • Anonymous

    Fred, imma let you finish, and I really like your blog and all, but man, how can you stomach dredging up all this stuff?  Gonna hang with PZ and Hitch, the crazy out there in Christianland is just too much for me.

  • Matri

    Why wouldn’t it be reasonable that if people crawl around on the floor
    of bars and have homosexual sex, that they would pick up demonic power?

    *headdesk*

    Ow.

    *headdesk*

    Ow.

    *headdesk*

    Ow.

  • Lori

     I just can’t. I don’t want to spend the rest of the evening bawling my eyes out.  

    I totally understand. 

    I was glad that I was along while I watched it. Among other reasons, I was not blessed with the ability to cry nicely. 

  • Anonymous

    I ask the same… with Stalin it would be easier for conservatives to blame leftists (being Stalin a very creepy one… and let´s not star a discussion about not true whatever)

  • They usually don’t put that much effort into it. They usually insist that Hitler was a leftist and point to the fact that Nazi means National SOCIALIST and blahblahblah liberals are fascists.

  • Anonymous

    We definitely cleanse and bind demonic powers out of females’ uterus cavities, out of genitals and, of course, out of anal canals and out of intestines, out of throats and mouths if there’s been ungodly deposit of semen in those areas.

    Corn liquor and a biology textbook are a terrible combination.

  • Matri

    They usually don’t put that much effort into it.

    It’s odd, and more than that in disturbing. A mere decade ago their rhetoric was lazy, for want of a better word. Just lazy, stuff they couldn’t be bothered to look up or learn. Juvenile stuff, “they’re bad ‘cuzz they is.”

    Now, it’s downright lying. “They’re demons because of some stuff I made up while tripping on LSD that you should totally believe instead of reality because Bible.”

  • Really? Demonizing people you disagree with is a pretty old technique. We even have a word for it now — I can’t remember what it is off the top of my head though…

  • …if there’s been ungodly deposit of semen in those areas.I’m confused by the use of ‘ungodly’ as a volumetric adjective. It’s semantics, really, but the speaker obviously thinks that the “ungodly” part of “ungodly deposit of semen” is a function of location, rather than volume. I’d imagine any semen anywhere other than a lady’s “sin cavern” (Thanks @JessicaR) would be viewed as “ungodly” by that crowd.

  • Jared Bascomb

    I was going to make this point, but you beat me to it.

  • Matri

    Really? Demonizing people you disagree with is a pretty old technique.
    We even have a word for it now — I can’t remember what it is off the
    top of my head though…

    Oh I don’t doubt that. I’m saying, a decade ago they didn’t put as much thought into their arguments or accusations. It’s only recently that they’ve been more refined, with actual thought put into it to make them SOUND appealing. It’s still incredibly ridiculously stupid, but it is worded in such a way to be appealing to their target demographic.

  • P J Evans

    Generally, you don’t get to see the org chart unless you’re an employee, shareholder, or consultant

    My experience is it’s usually limited to employees and maybe the board of directors. Consultants – possibly if they’re planning a reorganization.

  • Anonymous

    My impression was that she feels that any “deposit of semen” is ungodly, and she has a lurid fascination with the location of said deposits. I couldn’t say which of our interpretations is more correct.

    Anyway.
    Part of the problem with this sort of statement is that I have to ask questions to understand what it means, but then I have to continue discussing things like “ungodly deposits of semen.”

  • Lori

     My impression was that she feels that any “deposit of semen” is ungodly, and she has a lurid fascination with the location of said deposits. I couldn’t say which of our interpretations is more correct.  

     

    I think your interpretation is correct, but Chris’ is funnier :)

  • My impression was that she feels that any “deposit of semen” is ungodly,
    and she has a lurid fascination with the location of said deposits.

    The whole thing is odd if you stop and think about it:

    We definitely cleanse and bind demonic powers out of females’ …throats and mouths if there’s been ungodly deposit of semen in those areas.

    That could lead to some akward exchanges…

    “Miss Higley! Miss Higley! I have been defiled by demonic powers!”
    “Do not fear, girl. We have cleansed your uterus cavities and anal canals!”
    “No, no, I know that. It still burns a little. But those were not the only places I was defiled.”
    “Ah. Yes. Well, we looked down your throat with a scope, and took a swab, but…”
    “Yes? Yes, you found the demonic influence?”
    “Well… we found some, but it wasn’t exactly an ungodly amount you see…”
    “…oh, I see…”
    “I mean, it’s definitely sinful, and I wouldn’t recommend trying to make a meal of it…”
    “Yes…”
    “But we don’t think it’s enough to warrant a cleansing you see. Now go stay pure… ish.”

  • Anonymous

    The whole thing is odd. 
    Is Joanne differentiating between demonic defiling powers and semen deposits? If so, where do the demonic defiling powers come from? 
    Actual demons, or just regular old sex that demons are for some reason interested in? Do certain positions provoke the defiling?

    On the other hand, is it possible to have a godly deposit of semen in one’s mouth and throat?

  • I think “ungodly” is one of those words like “disgruntled” where the root antonym has fallen out of common use. No one says they ate a ‘godly’ amount of food, or walked a ‘godly” distance.

  • Lori

     The whole thing is odd.  

    Saying that this is an understatement is itself a significant understatement. 

  • Unrelatedly, the law firm of Steven J. Baum P.C., which specializes in
    foreclosures and had the ‘homeless Halloween party,’ has closed its
    doors and laid off all its employees.  The owner sent an email to the
    New York Times writer who released the original story, saying “You have
    destroyed everything and everyone related to Steven J. Baum PC.  It took
    40 years to build this firm and three weeks to tear down.”  I think
    that Baum, whose firm was notorious for contesting regulations requiring
    accuracy in forclosures, has nobody to blame but himself for his
    failures — as a lawyer, as a business owner, and as a human being.

    *world’s smallest violin*

    Also, a trick people like to play in the business world is because company owner isn’t normally liable for the assets of an incorporated company, if a company’s run into trouble, the usual routine is to bankrupt the business, then restart it under a new name with the assets transferred at fire-sale prices.

    I’ve heard of both computer stores and trucking companies doing this here in British Columbia.

    Five’ll get you ten that Baum guy will wait a few months, then miraculously come up with a new business name, but doing the same stuff. And he’ll deny that bankrupting his business was done with crocodile tears to try and garner sympathy.

  • Anonymous

    Corn liquor and a biology textbook are a terrible combination.

    Imagine what she come up with if she had a physics book.

    Better yet, give her a copy of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. She could probably come up with the question for which the answer was “42”.

  • Matri

    She could probably come up with the question for which the answer was “42”.

    Why do I suspect that the question would involve ungodly amounts of semen in there somewhere?

  • Anonymous

    Why do I suspect that the question would involve ungodly amounts of semen in there somewhere?

    That’s what the towel is for…

  • The_L1985 10 hours ago
    “Not to mention, while six million people were killed in the Holocaust, only five out of six were Jews.  That other million was made up of Roma (Gypsies), Communists, gay men, and people who were politically opposed to Hitler’s rise to power.”

    Not to nit pick (what’s a few million between friends) but I think the # is 6 mil Jews + 4 mil others and you left out gay women and the handicapped and trade unionists.

    First they came for the communists,
    and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a communist.
    Then they came for the trade unionists,
    and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a trade unionist.
    Then they came for the Jews,
    and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Jew.
    Then they came for me
    and there was no one left to speak out for me.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_they_came%E2%80%A6

  • She could probably come up with the question for which the answer was “42”.
    There you go.  The answer to the ultimate slacktivist question:  “What is an ungodly amount of seamen?” The answer is 42.

  • Ooops!  I Godwined the thread.  Sorry.

  • Matri

    I’m just gonna say it for all of us:

    … Ew! [/valley girl impression]

  • Rikalous

    The answer to the ultimate slacktivist question:  “What is an ungodly amount of seamen?” The answer is 42.

    A gathering of forty-two sailors is offensive to God? What’s’e got against ships with big crews?

  • Anonymous

    But that would be 11 million people!  I never heard numbers anywhere near that high.

    …Come to think of it, my history classes were very leery about covering WWII in any depth, for some reason.  They’d tell you about every single battle in the Civil War, but the World Wars were treated like “but of course you know all this stuff already, so I’m just going to gloss over it.”

  • Lori

     But that would be 11 million people!  I never heard numbers anywhere near that high.  

     

    Your history classes failed you. It sounds like the issue of Jewish deaths and total deaths got totally muddled and left you with a pretty major inaccuracy. Like I said earlier, the high end of estimates is 17 million. 11 million is a pretty conservative estimate of total deaths.  

  • Anonymous

    I thought you had to sacrifice a black goat or something to “get demonic power”. Joanne Highley’s method sounds like a lot more fun, and considerably more acceptable to animal-lovers.

  • Tonio

    Instead of rock-paper-scissors, I imagine a contest where the Big Evil Three attempt to out-evil each other.

  • Anonymous

    So, how really, really not evil do you have to be as a demon to get sent to some guy’s “anal cavity”?

    “And behold, in the last days I will pour out Teh Stupid….”

  • Hawker40

    I always knew that carriers were more ungodly than destroyers, but I never knew how much more ungodly.

  • point to the fact that Nazi means National SOCIALIST

    Interesting historical trivia: Time magazine articles from the 30s frequently put scare-quotes around “Socialist” when referring to the Nazi party. 

  • Now I should point out that you weren’t necessarily saying something like that here as you never made a claim about what the razor actually is.  I’m just at a loss for how, “The supernatural explanation is likely the wrong one,” is a variation on, “Entities should not be multiplied unnecessarily.”  “Supernatural explanations should not be introduced unnecessarily,” I could see, but where you got likely and wrong from I really don’t know.

    Sorry, I was trying to keep the quote quick and snappy, done more out of amusement than as a formal argument.  

    That said, I tend to think that unless an explanation can be tested and replicated, it cannot hold water as an explanation.  The “tiny teapot” or “invisible pink unicorn” kind of thing.  Believing in it is one thing, trying to use it to explain some phenomena in the material world is another.  I think of “supernatural” as being the kind of things which fall into that realm.  If something, no matter how strange, can be analyzed and the conditions and effects replicated, then I do see that as being natural as opposed to “super natural”.  

  • By the time you throw in military + civilian dead from 1931 to 1945 in all war theaters the total death toll is a mind-boggling 50 million people. There’s a reason why some guy termed this era the “Hemoclysm”. (O_O)

  • More opportunity for teh buttsex is my best guess.