Satanazis III: Night of the Satanazis

Don’t imagine you’re safe just because Pat Robertson, Demon Hunter, is on the job.

Sure, Robertson’s Age-Defying Shakes give him the strength to leg-press 1,000 pounds, but that won’t be enough when the Satanic baby-killers and the Nazis join forces to create the terrifying Satanazis who are coming to destroy your family and America and your American family.

“Pray that God will deliver our State and Country from this attack by demonic force, and that marriage between man and woman will be restored to its rightful place of honor,” urge political activists Mike Heath and Paul Madore, warning against the demonic threat of “sodomy-based marriage.”

It’s the playground of Satan and the evil forces against God’s way,” adds North Carolina radio host Steve Noble.

Through same-sex marriage, sectarian lobbyist Cindy Jacobs says, “Satan wants to steal God’s family and create tyranny to have a people he can rule over.”

Brian Fischer disagrees. He argues that the Satanazis aren’t looking to create a people for their Dark Lord to rule over, but rather that they want to kill every living human being:

That’s why I want you to understand that the environmental movement is fundamentally anti-human, it is fundamentally anti-human. And this bears the imprint of the Father of Lies because the Father of Lies, remember hates human beings. Why? Because we are made in the image of God. He wants to stamp out human beings because we remind him God. Well, environmentalists have the same exact agenda: they want to wipe humanity off the face of the globe.

Fortunately, Mississippi Gov. Phil Bryant is on hand to rein in Fischer’s hyperbole. He reminds us that the evil liberal Satanic baby-killers don’t want to kill everyone — just babies, because that’s what baby-killing baby-killers do: “Their one mission in life is to abort children, is to kill children in the womb.”

Well, of course liberals are dedicated to “murdering women before they are born,” but is that really their only mission in life? What about, as Truth in Action lobbyist Jerry Newcombe says, indoctrinating children “into a deadly lifestyle” through totalitarian schemes like the Day of Silence?

Now they chose April 20 of all days to be the Day of Silence, I looked that up, I was like, ‘isn’t that Adolf Hitler’s birthday,’ I looked it up and sure enough it is Adolf Hitler’s birthday.

Yes, trying to stop school bullying is just exactly how you would expect baby-killing Satanazis to celebrate Hitler’s birthday. Because they hate babies, schoolchildren and America. And because, as “ex-gay” activist D.L. Foster says, “the gay atheists, the glbt and their allies HATE us former homosexuals like Hitler hated Jews.”

And just like Hitler — or, as Catholic Bishop Daniel R. Jenky says, just like Hitler and Stalin — the Satanazi liberals are “pro-death.” So says Iowa state Sen. Kent Sorenson, who asks, “How many babies are you willing to slaughter, dismember and throw in a garbage can for a billion dollars?” (That’s a rhetorical question. Sorenson of course knows that Satanic baby-killers kill babies for Satan, not for money. If they were after money, then killing babies wouldn’t be “their one mission in life.”)

Maybe you’re thinking the threat isn’t real. Maybe you’re thinking this is just a snarky post, mocking a bunch of fringe characters for their over-the-top rhetoric and their literal demonization of their political opponents.

But these aren’t just fringe characters telling us that liberals are Nazis who murder babies and love the Satan whom they serve. These are Roman Catholic bishops, state governors, influential clergy and elected officials saying this.

So either the threat of the Satanazis is real, or else we’ve reached the point at which Roman Catholic bishops and Republican state governors have become indistinguishable from the lunatic fringe.

Bill Keller says the threat is real. Keller warns that Satan has taken control of both major party candidates for president.

President Obama, Keller says, is “a true enemy of God” and a baby-killing “advocate for the legalized slaughter of babies.” But he also warns that “a vote for Mormon cult member Mitt Romney will insure at least 1 million souls will end up in hell!!!” (exclamation points original).

Bill Keller also reminds us that he, Bill Keller, is not to be ignored because he, Bill Keller, is “the world’s leading Internet Evangelist” and host of “the most successful online Christian ministry in the history of the Internet.” So there.

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  • Robyrt

    Looks like Tony Perkins agrees with you – on the show with Phil Bryant he is quick to step in and suggest that the abortion clinics are simply there to turn a profit. Since apparently Mississippi is a big growth market.

  • Magic_Cracker

    Through same-sex marriage, sectarian lobbyist Cindy Jacobs says, “Satan wants to steal God’s family and create tyranny to have a people he can rule over.”

    Ah, I finally see what has them so bent out of shape — Satan’s trying to horn in on [their] God’s racket!

    And maybe it’s just me, but when one combines the fact that the “Satan” they’re talking about is fairness, kindness, and basic human decency, talk of “stealing” families suddenly makes [their] God sound like a bitter bio-dad bemoaning the fact that step dad is kinder and more loving than He.

  • Combat Queer

    I laughed for five straight minutes at the concept of “sodomy-based marriage.” 

    I can just see some preacher saying, “Hey, hey, this is a frottage only country!” 

  • gocart mozart

    Not just SODOMY, but GOMORRAHRY also!

  • mountainguy

    And don’t forget Gomorrah causes gomorrhea, not any so-called “bacteria”.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gonorrhea

  • Jared Bascomb

    Now I REALLY want to find the old SNL skit where Buck Henry (from Gomorrah)  advises the Sodom Chamber of Commerce about how Sodom can improve its image.

  • Jessica

     We’re lesbians in my house.  No sodomy for us, please.  Our marriage is based on something else entirely.  ;-)

  • Hwaldren

    I assume the “insure” is original as well; if so, you may want to add [sic]. 

    You are my fav Christian blogger, bar none. :)

  • Lunch Meat

    Well, environmentalists have the same exact agenda: they want to wipe humanity off the face of the globe.

    Environmentalists are really stupid! Why are they always campaigning for things like less lead, mercury and other toxic waste in our soil, air, water, and food? If they just promoted or even ignored pollution instead of fighting against it, their goals would be achieved so much sooner. I mean, I think I understand what their plan could be. First they indoctrinate everyone with “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle,” then they make it just “reduce”, and then they get us to keep reducing and reducing our resource usage until no one is using any resources whatsoever, and then we’ll starve. (Depending on how far they take it, we might suffocate first.) It is, indeed, a subtle, sneaky plan. But it’ll take such a long time.

    Now, if I were Satan and wanted to destroy the world, I’d get the people in power to hold on to that power by demonizing everyone with a different skin color and religion from them and getting their population to be terrified. Then I’d convince them that pre-emptive strikes and drone attacks are good things, and gradually draw them into conflict until I could goad them and their enemies into nuclear war. But I mean, that’s just my silly idea, and Satan’s probably smarter than that. That’s why our relationships with other countries don’t look anything like what I just described.

  • Mau de Katt

    As I’ve said before — you can always tell what the Right Wing is doing/wants to do by what they accuse The Libruhls of supporting.

  • aunursa

    President Obama, Keller says, is “a true enemy of God” and a baby-killing “advocate for the legalized slaughter of babies.” But he also warns that “a vote for Mormon cult member Mitt Romney will insure at least 1 million souls will end up in hell!!!” (exclamation points original).

    Both candidates are enemies of God and dog?  Gee, this is gonna be a tough choice.

  • Stressfactor

    Environmentalists want to kill off everyone on the planet?

    Has someone been watching episodes of “Batman: The Animated Series” featuring Ras Al Ghul again?!

  • Tricksterson

    Yes, and apparently while on LSD

  • Morilore

    a vote for Mormon cult member Mitt Romney will insure at least 1 million souls will end up in hell!!!” (exclamation points original).

    Well that’s nice of him, considering how hard it is for working-class hellbound folks to get insurance these days.

  • Ken

    Bill Keller says the threat is real. Keller warns that Satan has taken control of both major party candidates for president.

    I encourage, strongly encourage, Bill Keller and all his followers to deny their votes to either of these monsters. In fact, stay away from the polls entirely, to avoid any chance of contamination.

  • topher

    Considering that there are supposed to be something like 13 million Mormons in the world it seems that Bill Keller is underestimating Romney’s hell-bound powers

  • Tricksterson

    It’s tithing.

  • Mary Kaye

    I am so tired of hearing supposed followers of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob arguing that God meant marriage to be between one man and one woman.  Hello, Abraham!  How many wives did he have?

  • EllieMurasaki

    One; he never married Hagar.  Isaac only had one, too. Jacob had two, plus two concubines, but he meant to only marry Rachel. You’re thinking of David, who had several wives,  or Solomon, who I believe had hundreds.

  • Evan

     Well, technically, he also married Keturah after Sarah’s death.  But, just about everyone will agree that’s still permissible.

  • Tricksterson

    One wife, one acknowledged concubine I believe.

  • Green Eggs and Ham

     “Abraham married another wife whose name was Keturah; and she bore him Zimram, Jokshan, Medan, Midian, Ishbak and Shuah. 

    Jokshan was the father of Sheba and Dedan, and the sons of Dedan were the Asshurites, the Letushim and the Leummim. 

    The sons of Midian are Ephah, Epher, Hanoch, Abida and Eldaah.  All these are the sons of Keturah.

    Abraham gave all his possessions to Isaac.  To the sons of his concubines Abraham gave presents, and during his lifetime he sent them away from his son Isaac eastward, to the east country.

    Genesis 25:1-6  Jerusalem Bible

    So at least two concubines. 

    The bible seems quite certain that a marriage is between 1 man and several women who are legally wed to him but not necessarily his wife.

  • gocart mozart

    The bible clearly states that marriage is between one man and as many women as he can afford.

  • Tricksterson

    So fundie Mormons are right?

  • JustoneK

    Huh.  So according to le Wikipedia, the gulf oil spill started on April 20, as did the Columbine massacre, the Good Friday massacre in Montreal, and the day the Civil Rights Act of 1871 was enacted.  A dreadful day for history indeed.

  • Magic_Cracker

    Also on that day, William Shakespeare was likely born (in 1564) and most definitely died (in 1616). OH, THE HUMANITIES!

  • JustoneK

    Liberals aborted Shakespeare!

  • Jared Bascomb

    Ummm, I think that was April 23.

    OTOH, 4/20 is national “legalize marijuana day” in the US. Woo hoo!

  • Michael Mock

    How long before we get to Return of the Bloody Revenge of the Son of Satanazis? That was my favorite in the series.

  • Magic_Cracker

    How long before we get to Return of the Bloody Revenge of the Son of Satanazis? That was my favorite in the series.

    Are you kidding me? Anyone with taste knows that Satanazis XIII: Return to Beneath the Planet of the Satanazis: The Abortening, the Donner (Pass) cut, is a vastly superior film. I mean, it was pre-CGI, so you know those are real fetuses they’re using.

  • Tybult

    Satanazis XIII: Return to Beneath the Planet of the Satanazis: The Abortening

    I would pay real American dollars to see that movie. 

    And what would make it better is if that were the only one that ever actually gets made.

  • Tybult

    Well, environmentalists have the same exact agenda: they want to wipe humanity off the face of the globe.

    Now that’s a bit of an exaggeration. We want to set up a few reservations here and there, mostly as hunting preserves for the archdemons and their hellhounds.
    Fischer clearly has no concept of long-term planning.

    How many babies are you willing to slaughter, dismember and throw in a garbage can for a billion dollars?

    That’s the Free Mother-f’ing Market, Sorenson! For a billion dollars, every red-blooded god-fearing American should be willing to go full-on Kill Bill on a pile of fetuses! 

  • Tricksterson

    “Feng shui is at best demonic at worst superstition”  So, it’s better for it to have an evil effect than no effect?
     
    Satan’s Playground, the happiest place on Earth.

    I think Cindy Jacobs should change her name to Wendy, because she obviously lives in Neverland

  • Tybult

    On a related but slightly more serious note, I was at a gay pride parade last Saturday. A handful of religious homophobes showed up to protest.
    After the parade, one of the homophobes threw a water bottle into the stomach of a 13 year old girl from my congregation who was giving them Bible quotes.

    A perfect example of the kind of unreasoning hatred we’re dealing with.

  • Michael Pullmann

    State Sen. Sorenson can keep his billion dollars. I’ll slaughter, dismember and trash as many babies as he wants for free.

  • DorothyD

    Now they chose April 20 of all days to be the Day of Silence, I looked that up, I was like, ‘isn’t that Adolf Hitler’s birthday,’ I looked it up and sure enough it is Adolf Hitler’s birthday.

    Certainly, “isn’t that Adolf Hitler’s birthday?” is always the first thing that pops into my mind whenever I read “April 20th.” 

  • histrogeek

     That’s only because you possess sanity.

  • reynard61

    The first thing that pops into *my* head is “It’s my Birthday!” It’s also George Takei’s, Ryan O’Neal’s and Carmen Electra’s as well; so I’m in some pretty classy company Birthday-wise.

  • flat

    interesting article Fred but I am waiting for your next left behind post, sorry

  • http://jesustheram.blogspot.com/ Mr. Heartland

    Freeebirrrd!!!

  • histrogeek

    Really I’m quite disappointed in the Satanazis. All that brilliant scheming and they get exposed by people who fear FEMA and the UN and who think fluoride is a mind-control chemical.
    Also why the combination of Satanists and Nazis? I can see Satanists who aren’t or weren’t Nazis, since some Satanists were clearly Commie so at least between 1941 and 1945 there must have been a schism among Satanists? Aren’t Nazis by definition evil, so does this make them evil evilists?

  • http://twitter.com/FearlessSon FearlessSon

    Aren’t Nazis by definition evil, so does this make them evil evilists?

    For their part, the Nazis’ saw themselves as being “beyond good and evil”, ubermensches beyond the moral concerns of prior eras, in a twisting of Friedrich Nietzche’s philosophy. 

  • histrogeek

     Well, the SS promoted the ubermenschen ideology at least Himmler and Heydrich talked that way, but there were other strains of the thought in the Nazi Party. Alfred Rosenberg, one of the top ideologues, seems to be less Nietzsche and more 19th Century eugenics. Unlike Communists, the Nazis didn’t enforce ideological purity on party members apart from a general Fuehrer-is-great, Germans-are-the-best belief. Details were pretty much unimportant.
    Nietzsche himself despised eugenics, though his sister (and caretaker) was a big supporter.

  • Lori

     

    Nietzsche himself despised eugenics, though his sister (and caretaker) was a big supporter.

    Oh boy, there is a whole lotta family dysfunction in that sentence.

  • http://www.metagalacticllamas.com/ Triplanetary

    Sure, Robertson’s Age-Defying Shakes give him the strength to leg-press 1,000 pounds

    That is hilarious. I get the impression that this scam and Robertson’s ministry are products of identical con-artist machinations. It’s like he has a list:

    HOW TO SCAM MONEY OUT OF PEOPLE
    -Sell them some protein shake and tell them it’s magic
    -Tell them Jesus hates gays, ask for donations to fight the gays
    -Tell them they look like very smart, discerning folk, and I just happen to have an elixir from the heart of far-off China that will cure all ails

  • JayemGriffin

    You know, using the dictionary definition of sodomy, I’d be willing to bet a week’s worth of groceries that a pretty damn big chunk of all marriages are sodomy-based.

  • The_L1985

    I remember reading on a different blog that an estimated 35% of hetero couples engage in anal sex. So yes, a lot of “sodomy-based marriages” are in fact between a man and a woman.

  • JayemGriffin

    “Sodomy” is actually defined as any non-penile/vaginal sex, so even more than that, I should think. I sort of feel sorry for people who automatically assume that it’s only a “gay thing”…

  • redsixwing

    Some days all I have is wharrgarbl.

    Thanks, Fred, for giving me something to  wharrgarbl about.

  • Danel


     “Satan wants to steal God’s family and create tyranny to have a people he can rule over.”

    I think they might be getting Satan confused with Vlad Masters. 
    Really, between this and the environmentalist/Ra’s Al Ghul thing, I’m starting to wonder if they’re getting all their ideas from the cartoons. Guess we’ll know for certain if they start saying liberals are trying to seal their connection to God with energybending. 

    “How many babies are you willing to slaughter, dismember and throw in a garbage can for a billion dollars?”

    These reality gameshows have gone too far. 

  • gocart mozart

    Do you know who else was born on April 20th?
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_Angelica

  • http://jesustheram.blogspot.com/ Mr. Heartland

    “After comparing the “radical homosexual agenda” to the iceberg that sank the Titanic, Truth in Action Ministries yesterday discussed how homosexuality results from a “deep pathology” and deficient “biblical” parenting”

    Remember, if you don’t want your son to turn gay, make sure that he swears on his fathers testicles for every promise. 

  • carovee

    Does anyone listen to Stephanie Miller?  Today one of her callers listed the radical rights “beatitudes” as in they want everyone to  Be Afraid, Be Stupid, and Be Sick.  I thought it was brilliant.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jon.maki Jon Maki

    Eventually the Satanazi sequels will stray pretty far from the original idea, and they’ll end up being as unrelated to the first one as the later Emmannuelle movies starring Laura Gemser* – the ones that were less about sex and more about gunfights in the jungle – were to the first Emmanuelle.
    Then someone will reboot the franchise when it seems like the time is right.  Unfortunately, that someone will be Michael Bay, and the Satanazis will actually turn out to be Alienazis.

    *Laura Gemser continued to be involved with sequels that shared nothing more than a name with the original:  she was the costume designer for Troll 2, which contained exactly zero trolls. 

  • Lori

     

    she was the costume designer for Troll 2, which contained exactly zero trolls.

    Seriously? That’s just not right.

  • ConservativeWhitebread

    Also, it demonized vegetarianism, as the not-trolls were – well I dunno if you care about spoilers here.

    It’s an amazing movie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jon.maki Jon Maki

     Yes, in the end, it is only the power of bologna that can save us.  (Or can it?)
    The movie is full of a staggering amount of fail, and it’s actually been immortalized in a documentary called The Best Worst Movie.
    It was filmed in Utah, with an American cast, but the majority of the crew (including the director) were Italian, and spoke little or no English.
    While it was about goblins, it was decided to ride on the coattails of the moderate success of the 1987 movie Troll.  That there was no connection whatsoever was not, apparently, a fact worthy of consideration.
    I’ve yet to see it, but there’s is a Troll 3, which ups the ante by not only containing no trolls, but eschewing goblins as well (I believe it’s about some sort of plant creatures).

  • Tricksterson

    Seriously.  It was all about goblins.

  • Lori

     That is just so wrong. Goblin =/= Troll.

  • Tricksterson

    Oh and there was an evil female druid librarian.

  • Lori

     Whaaa?

  • Tricksterson

    She was the goblins leader.  I think.  It was a very stupid movie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Charity-Brighton/100002974813787 Charity Brighton

     That sounds like something a Mad libs-inspired evil organization would contain.

    “Okay, so we have the Evil Druid Librarian, the Mad Zoroastrian Orthodontist, the Scary Baha’i Electrician, and… the… um… Ukulele-Playing Catholic Ostrich-Wrangler! Avengers, assemble!”

  • Lori

    “Okay, so we have the Evil Druid Librarian, the Mad Zoroastrian Orthodontist, the Scary Baha’i Electrician, and… the… um…
    Ukulele-Playing Catholic Ostrich-Wrangler! Avengers, assemble!”  

    That movie I would pay to see. Troll 2, not so much.

  • Tricksterson

    I’d read a webcomic based on that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jon.maki Jon Maki

    Make that “evil female druid librarian who seduces a teenage boy with corn.”

  • Matri

    Make that “evil female druid librarian who seduces a teenage boy with corn.

    That… that’s just wrong

  • Tricksterson

    Really?  I must have forgotten that part.

  • http://profiles.google.com/marc.k.mielke Marc Mielke

    The space nazis movie actually looks pretty kickass, too:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeIu1FiTTyI&feature=related 

  • Turcano

     Don’t forget Violence in a Women’s Prison.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jon.maki Jon Maki

    She was also in The Emperor Caligula: The Untold Story, which, like Caligula, featured spliced-in scenes of hardcore porn.  I think it was alternately titled Caligula II.

  • http://jesustheram.blogspot.com/ Mr. Heartland

     I’ve just remembered that there is, in fact, something like actual flesh-and-blood Satanazis out there in the world. 

    In case you’re interested:  (Trigger: ….. well; Nazis, and truly godawful shlockmetal)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tt32Kizhu5g

  • http://from1angle.wordpress.com emilyperson

     I think it’s a testament to how much time I spend on the Internet that I’m less offended and horrified at the Satanaziism and more annoyed by the cheap attempt at shock-value and the bad music.

  • P J Evans

    Who’s Bill Keller? (No, really: this is the only place that I’ve seen his name.)

  • Mrs Grimble

    Now they chose April 20 of all days to be the Day of Silence, I looked
    that up, I was like, ‘isn’t that Adolf Hitler’s birthday,’ I looked it
    up and sure enough it is Adolf Hitler’s birthday.

    No – the DoS organisers chose the third Friday in April.  This year, it just happened to be April 20th; next year it will be on the 19th.

    Frakking eejit….

  • Wednesday

    I have to wonder if the person making that comment about Hitler’s birthday know sanything at all about the Holocaust besides “Hitler was bad”, and possibly “a lot of Jewish people were killed so we should compare it with abortion, that sounds like a good and non-offensive idea”.

    It really strains credulity to suggest that a group concerned with the rights and welfare of LGBT individuals would want to celebrate the birthday of a man who sent them to death camps.

  • JonathanPelikan

    This is the same movement of monsters, morons, and millionaires that proposed that Hitler specifically selected Ghey People to be in his shock troops and death squads and stuff because, well, you know. Ghey People are far more barbaric and obscene than us Streight People.

    Some days, man. Some days.

    (Also, I am now waiting for somebody to tell me that being mean to people who think that is counterproductive because, well, the goal is to change that person’s mind, right? Plus they won’t agree to bipartisan compromise if we be mean to them, since they obviously still want what’s Best For America, right?)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Charity-Brighton/100002974813787 Charity Brighton

     Hold on…

    I have to wonder if the person making that comment about Hitler’s birthday knows anything at all…

    You could have probably ended your post there. I don’t think people like this really possess what most of us would consider ‘knowledge’. At least, not about this topic. I mean, yikes.

  • Vermic

    No – the DoS organisers chose the third Friday in April.  This year, it just happened to be April 20th; next year it will be on the 19th.

    Ah yes, the date Cardinal Ratzinger was elected Pope.  We are well and truly down the rabbit hole, people.

  • DarthJagang

    Did….they just drop a Hitler reference. while persecuting a minority group? Can you do that? I mean, the KKK doesnt call African-Americans racist, do they?  I mean….fuck.

    Also, an interesting bit of math. as i count, there are 180 million voters in the US. If hallf of them come out to vote, that’s ninety million. If mitt romney gets 48% of that (the number John McCain got in the 2008 election) thats 43.2 million, and each vote sends 1,000,000 sould to hell, that makes 43.2 trillion sould damned. So, where do all the sould come from? Does God get so angry that he starts damning the already heaven-located? Do we count animals? And does that make mitt romeny, who apparantly eats souls, stronger than Jesus?

  • Vermic

    I mean, the KKK doesnt call African-Americans racist, do they?

    I don’t know about the KKK specifically, but do a Google search on “reverse racism” and you’ll find no shortage of arguments that white people today just want to live in a colorblind post-racial society, and it’s blacks who are the REAL racists for wanting to rock the boat.  President Obama has been accused (by wingnuts) of hating whites and spearheading a “revenge against whites” agenda since day one.

  • http://twitter.com/Erdosign Carlos McReynolds

    I think what I find most sad about this is that I just want to tell these people to go read the Bible. You’d think if abortion, environmentalism or marriage equality were major tools of Satan, Jesus would have mentioned. Yet, they seem to get practically no mention.  If you’re worried about Satan’s minions, shouldn’t you try to have some real understanding of who they are?

  • Jenny Islander

    Open letter to the valiant Satanazi hunters of the American religious right:

    Hey, um, you know TEFAP?  Federal program, designed to make sure that the very poor didn’t fall ill from malnutrition, provided about a can of food a day per 1 or 2 people?  TEFAP’s been cut in half.  The new budget also cut SNAP benefits, you know, food stamps, to a lot of families and also eliminated school breakfasts and lunches for thousands of kids in those very same families, so now there are kids in America who wake up  hungry, go to school hungry, come home hungry, and go to bed hungry, which apparently is supposed to make them magically financially independent or something, I dunno, like hunger makes people more focused and able to think.  Also there are people dropping into poverty every damn day of the week because one serious injury or illness can wreck an entire family’s finances for life.  Can any of you fine gentlemen and ladies perhaps lend your voice to the least of these?  Anyone?  Anyone . . . ?

    No, I guess that pales in importance next to the task of hunting for the boogeyman.


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