Down the street that losers use

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Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy.”

“Love is not a feeling, Mr. Burns. It’€™s an ability.”

The Bible isn’t meant to keep people apart; it isn’t meant to be a badge of honor.”

“I don’€™t support going around disparaging other people’€™s religion, but it’€™s not a crime.”

“Count me among the holy extinguished. I am no longer on fire for Jesus.”

Grace is bacon.”

Life’s too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee.”

My breakup forecast shows you losing 35 of the albums you bought together at garage sales, leaving you with only 15, including Sting’s fourth solo record, Ten Summoner’s Tales, which neither of you really wanted.”

“Rule of thumb: Get at least three fictional sources before publishing serious allegations involving imaginary groups.”

“The panel of judges sided with the Yankees, ruling that the Yankees are strongly associated with the phrase.”

“Moreover, problems resulting from the required concentration to maintain such control may even result in subsequent stress symptoms.”

They don’™t deliver, they pick up.”

Church Sign Epic Fails: ‘Apocalypse Now’”

 

  • aunursa

    “Grace is bacon.”

    To put it in Jewish terms, Grace is treyf
    Yummy, sizzling, delicious, you-know-you-want-it-but-you-really-shouldn’t treyf.

  • aunursa

    “The panel of judges sided with the Yankees, ruling that the Yankees are strongly associated with the phrase.”

    What baseball fans have long known is now enshrined in American law.

  • Carstonio

    The Yankees are baseball’s equivalent of the French aristocracy – wealthy, entitled and arrogant about their history. I don’t necessarily mean the players, but certainly the front office and the fans. The attitude that World Series titles are theirs by divine right. Unlike the NFL where most broadcast deals are with networks, MLB relies much more on local broadcasts, and this gives the Yankees a major advantage because of the size of their market. Bob Costas advocates that each MLB team put half of its local broadcast revenue into a pot to be shared equally – that recognizes the cooperative nature of leagues while still keeping an incentive for teams to compete.

  • aunursa

    The odds that the next pope will take the name Innocent (33 to 1) are slightly longer than the odds that the Cubs will win the pennant (30-1).

    Damian is 200 to 1, which is longer than the Astros’ World Series odds.

  • http://apocalypsereview.wordpress.com/ Invisible Neutrino

    “Moreover, problems resulting from the required concentration to maintain such control may even result in subsequent stress symptoms.”

    Regarding ‘passing gas’, I think anecdotally anyone who has found that their stomach hurts a bit has found that on occasion, relief is obtained when the gas is passed.

  • Carstonio

    Imagine the irony if a hypothetical Pope Innocent XIV had been complicit while cardinal in covering up the abuse of children.

  • Cathy W

    I’m surprised they’re giving Peter “evenses” – that was supposed to be the name of the last pope in the alleged prophesy about the end of the Church. I can’t imagine any cardinal taking that name, whether they think it’s bunk or not.

    Or is that some quirk of the Irish sense of humor? They also seem to be grossly overstating the odds of “Pope Paddy Power” being the next bottom on the Chair of Peter.

  • Magic_Cracker

    Victor Fati I would be a pretty badass name for a pope.

  • MikeJ

    The odds that the next pope will take the name Innocent (33 to 1) are slightly longer than the odds that the Cubs will win the pennant (30-1).
    It depends on what they ask first: “What’s your name?” or “how do you plead?”

  • SpaceOtter

    Upon seeing “Love is not a feeling, Mr. Burns. It’s an ability.” I assumed the link would lead to a Simpsons related page, and the quote would be from Smithers. Turns out the linked page is in actuality far, far better.

  • http://apocalypsereview.wordpress.com/ Invisible Neutrino

    Too bad Pope Lucifer I isn’t in the cards.

  • aunursa

    Deleted

  • http://lliira.dreamwidth.org/ Lliira

    If the next pope is not Pope Mary or Judith or Ruth or Esther or Martha (or another appropriate name for a female pope) the First, I don’t care. Name him Pope Douchebag the nth, that’s what most of them are anyway.

  • aunursa
  • ReverendRef

    From the church signs: Maybe God-time is like the last two minutes of a football game.

    I had to laugh out loud at that, even though I have argued with several people that the last two minutes of a football game appears instantaneous compared with the last two minutes of a basketball game.

    Still funny, though . . .

  • Tricksterson

    “The Yankees are baseball’s equivalent of the French aristocracy”

    Does that ,eam we get to put them on tumbrils and introduce them to Madame Guillotine?

    Yes, I’m from Massachusetts, why do you ask?

  • Tricksterson

    I’m pushing for Ralph

  • flat

    I like that on fire for Jesus piece, it is funny that you are sometimes so busy you completely miss the point why you are doing something.

  • Fusina

    As the woman said in the movie “House Bunny”, “Kindness is just love with its work boots on.” The movie is D-list except for that comment, which raised it to A-list…IMO. And yes, I do like it–I watched it in the first place because Colin Hanks was in it, and I loved him in “The Good Guys”.

  • arcseconds

    I’m experiencing a key collision with ‘Hagel’. 

    It’s colliding with ‘Hegel’, so I keep thinking people are accusing Georg Friedrich Wilhelm of, for example, accepting money from fictional 21st century terrorist organisations.

    Needless to say, I get a bit weirded out by this…

    (It’s colliding because they both sound nearly the same in my head, and I never was any good at spelling.  As a result of the collision, I have yet to accept that Chuck Hagel exists.

    I so need a new hashing algorithm…)

  • MaryKaye

    arcseconds writes:  “I so need a new hashing algorithm….”

    I feel your pain.  When I try to read Cherryh’s _Chanur_ series *all* of the kifish names hash into only two bins in my head, which makes it impossible to follow the politics.  I finally had to make a bookmark with the important names glossed.  If you cannot tell Skukkuk from Sikukkut (spelling approximate) the plot is completely opaque….

  • Jenny Islander

    Unfortunately there is no evidence that she ever existed (and the pierced stool that new popes were supposed to sit on thereafter so that somebody could feel their nethers for testicles was actually an old-fashioned toilet seat that somebody writing later on had no idea what it was).  But if a woman were to become pope, I think it would be delicious if she were to acknowledge that Pope Joan didn’t exist, but should have, and take the name Joan II.

    OTOH, that would probably confuse people too much.  How about the names of apostles and local leaders and teachers found in the NT?  Pope Junia, Pope Prisca, Pope Lydia, Pope Nympha, Pope Chloe, Pope Lois, Pope Eunice . . . 

    I think that Father Andrew Greeley’s suggestions for reforming the daily conduct of the papacy need to be put in place ASAP.  Chief among these are letting the Pope wear ordinary clerical blacks in public when he/she isn’t conducting a ceremony and expecting all popes to retire at a set age.  Greely also points out that back in the day, the council that picked the next pope would show the candidate to the crowd assembled in the square outside, and if they booed, they would go in and try again.  

  • Tricksterson

    And that’s if you don’t throw the possibility of reincarnation into the mix.  ;D

  • arcseconds

     Well, we already have the problem of two names referring to the same individual without that possibility.

    ‘Tully’ and ‘Cicero’ is a classic example, but everyone who is known by a nickname/pseudonym/ nom de plume is in a similar boat.

    (I somehow think you’re not known as ‘Tricksterson” to your family. )

    At least with reincarnation a name picks out a non-arbitrary portion of that individual’s ‘life’ :]

  • P J Evans

     All those ‘k’ sounds, yeah. I was reading about the Quileute language, on the seaward side of the Olympic peninsula in Washington, and learned that while it has no ‘m’ or ‘n’ sounds in it, it has more than half a dozen different ‘k’ sounds. Maybe they met some kif…

  • aunursa

    Pope Chloe?  Why not — she’s already the Antichrist on some of these threads.

  • SororAyin

     If I remember right, there’s a St. Damian who was a priest who ministered to a leper colony.  My mother actually took that name when she converted to Catholicism.

  • Carstonio

    Wow, I didn’t know there was a Lois in the Bible. Timothy’s grandmother. The name became popular in England after the Reformation. Ironic choice for the name of Clark Kent’s co-worker and eventual spouse, since Superman’s creators were Jewish and his Kryptonian name is arguably a Hebrew one.

    Chief among these are letting the Pope wear ordinary clerical blacks in
    public when he/she isn’t conducting a ceremony

    When I was a kid, I imagined that kings and queens wore their coronation robes and crowns all day, and did all their ruling and decision-making from their thrones. Even now, it seems strange when I see male royal family members in RN or RAF uniforms, or Elizabeth II  in her stylish suits.

  • AnonymousSam
  • Lori

     

    Bob Costas advocates that each MLB
    team put half of its local broadcast revenue into a pot to be shared equally -
    that recognizes the cooperative nature of leagues while still keeping an
    incentive for teams to compete   

     

    In order for this to have any chance of working MLB would also need to put in place rules to ensure that the money from the shared pot is spent on the receiving team, not treated as pure profit by the owners. For details on why this is critical see the giant scam that is the Florida Marlins and their publicly funded stadium. Short version: Jeff Loria is a gonif, and does not agree with Lewis CK re: life being too short to be an asshole employer.

    Bob Costas
    advocates that each MLB team put half of its local broadcast revenue
    into a pot to be shared equally – that recognizes the cooperative nature
    of leagues while still keeping an incentive for teams to compete. – See
    more at:
    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2013/02/28/down-the-street-that-losers-use/#sthash.Ca0n9siJ.dpuf


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