Walmart.manatee

Walmart.manatee June 2, 2015

• On Saturday night in Arlington, Texas Rangers rookie pitcher Alex “Chi Chi” Gonzalez made his major league debut, carrying a no-hitter into the sixth inning en route to an 8-0 win over the Boston Red Sox.

I mention this because, hey, starting your big league career with five hitless innings is pretty cool. And also because Gonzalez was the Rangers’ first-round draft pick in 2013 out of Oral Roberts University. And, what with the Duggars and Mike Huckabee and Denny Hastert and Franklin Graham and all the rest of that stuff, “Golden Eagle Makes Good in Pro Debut” is one of the few pieces of happy news I’m able to highlight from the evangelical subculture.

• “I love ambiguity more than most people.”

• Rachel Monroe on “How Wal-Mart Became the Town Square in Rural America“:

All of this, of course, is part of the Wal-Mart plan: They move in, push other stores out of business while simultaneously expanding their services — at some supercenters you can get new tires, new glasses, and a teeth cleaning — until suddenly you find yourself buying everything at Wal-Mart because there’s nowhere else to buy it.

So as Wal-Mart encroaches on more parts of life, more of people’s lives happen at Wal-Mart. The chain is the third biggest vision care provider in the country, the fourth biggest pharmacy, and the biggest grocery store. People sell drugs in Wal-Mart and make drugs in Wal-Mart. In one Florida town, nearly half of all crime takes place at Wal-Mart. Some people live in Wal-Mart parking lots; others try to live in the stores themselves. Teens don’t hang out at malls anymore; they hang out at Wal-Mart.

A fascinating, if dismaying, read. Also an excuse to post this:

WalmartManatee

• Apparently, the holes in Swiss cheese are produced by microscopic particles of hay dust. And now, with modern industrial dairy farming, there’s less hay dust and therefore fewer holes in Swiss cheese. This apparently unsettles some people who feel that Swiss cheese ought to have lots of holes in it.

The number of holes doesn’t really matter in the supermarket, where we buy cheese by weight and not by volume. But if I’m getting, say, a Wawa hoagie or some other deli order where they’re counting slices rather than going by weight, then I suppose I prefer fewer holes because, you know, more cheese.

• Here’s a local newspaper item with a tragic subtext: “What We’re Reading: The top 10 books at the Morton James Public Library.” The top five books for adults include three Nicholas Sparks titles and Tribulation Force, by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins.

“I’m sorry,” the librarian says, yet again, “but The Notebook is currently out on loan. If you’re looking for a terrific love story, though, we have several copies of Pride and Prej … No? OK, then, I’ll just put you on the waiting list.” But she doesn’t judge. And she never, ever, let’s them see her weep.

• The “Charlie Charlie Challenge,” as we’ve discussed here, is a bit credulous and silly, even by the standards of adolescent legend trips. It apparently also mayor may not — be a viral-marketing stunt for a new horror movie. But in either case, many politically conservative Christians continue to denounce it as dangerous and transgressive — thereby assuring its continued popularity by reaffirming its appeal as something which allows young people to confront something they can credibly pretend is dangerous and transgressive.

Timothy Kincaid highlights an interesting, albeit predictable, twist in this fad, noting this story from the Bahamas in which the supposed “Mexican demon” Charlie has further evolved into a gay Mexican demon. Did the kids add this element because they knew it would add to their parents’ discomfort? Or did some creative moral entrepreneur embellish the story because a little touch of Teh Gay would add fuel to hysteria?

Either way, we already know why it is that Kids These Days are so tempted by the lure of evil Gay Mexican Demons. It’s all because of one man. Elvis. Aron. Presley.


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