NRA: There’s no gospel in this gospel

The strange thing about the hymn “I Love to Tell the Story” is that it never actually tells the story. Rayford never actually tells that story either. Like the hymn, he insists that the telling of it is very important, but no one listening to his alleged explanation of “the way of salvation” will wind up any closer to understanding that than before he started. [Read more…]

Stay in touch with the Slacktivist on Facebook:

NRA: Funeral altar call

Evangelical churches are good at many things, but funerals are not our forté. The improvisational approach of most evangelical services doesn’t serve us well when it comes to funerals. So we fall back on what we know best — proclaiming the gospel of individual salvation. That’s why Rayford’s eulogy here segues into an evangelistic altar call. [Read more…]

Stay in touch with the Slacktivist on Facebook:

NRA: One thing I have learned

If there’s one thing I have learned out there in the church, it’s that a speaker should never humblebrag about himself by saying “This is not about me. … It’s about Jesus.” Whenever you hear that, you can bet that the next good chunk of what he has to say won’t be about Jesus either, but about him. [Read more…]

Stay in touch with the Slacktivist on Facebook:

NRA: Bruce Barnes’ body lies a mouldering somewhere

Bruce Barnes died at the end of the previous book. Now, some 300 pages and several weeks of story-time later, his body is wheeled out for his memorial service. Where has Bruce Barnes been all this time? That’s really two questions, one logistical, the other theological. And the authors don’t seem to have given much thought to either one. [Read more…]

Stay in touch with the Slacktivist on Facebook:

NRA: Probably Loretta

The authors tell us that “someone, probably Loretta” has printed up programs for Bruce Barnes’ memorial service. But if we remember all the other things going on in this story — things that the authors, and Rayford and Buck, seem to have forgotten — then it seems like “someone, probably Loretta” must have been doing a lot of things. [Read more…]

Stay in touch with the Slacktivist on Facebook:

NRA: The most trusted name in news (is not ‘Global Weekly’)

So far in the Great Tribulation, CNN is crushing the competition. The cable news channel has established itself as the one and only reliable source for breaking news in the earth’s last days. Fox News is AWOL in this story — I suppose because everyone there was Raptured. And over at Global Weekly, the world’s greatest reporter has decided to take the month off for an “escapade” in Israel, and to attend a funeral back in Illinois. [Read more…]

Stay in touch with the Slacktivist on Facebook:

NRA: Church board meeting

This “Tribulation Force” quartet seems to assume that they’re the leaders of this congregation even though they don’t seem to even know anyone else’s name at this church. Rayford imagines the congregation sees him as a key figure in their community even though he doesn’t even live on this continent anymore. But now he and his friends are secretly appointing a new pastor for the church — a new spiritual leader the congregation will never meet and never even be told about. [Read more…]

Stay in touch with the Slacktivist on Facebook:

NRA: Third-hand excitement

Let’s get back up to speed. “Bible prophecy” is all about the charts. Those charts promise a relentless series of exciting calamity, and these books are supposed to take us through all of those events. Yet here we are, more than 1,000 pages into this series, and we’ve barely budged past the first two items on the chart. Jerry Jenkins is about to double that progress — in the least-exciting way possible. [Read more…]

Stay in touch with the Slacktivist on Facebook:

CLOSE | X

HIDE | X