NRA: Conspiracy theories should be fun


Conspiracy theories are supposed to be fun. A well-constructed conspiracy theory should offer the same rewards and entertainments as any good puzzle. It should confront the true believer with a series of disparate facts and then provide the sense of delight and satisfaction that comes from seeing how all of those pieces can be made to fit together. Tim LaHaye refuses to put the pieces together, and that takes all the fun out of it. [Read more...]

NRA: Fulfilling our evangelistic duty


Rayford Steele seems to think of lecturing pregnant women about abortion the same way he thinks about evangelism — it’s an unpleasant duty he is obliged to perform in order to exempt himself from the guilt of others’ damnation. That’s how he approached his awkward attempt to “witness” at Hattie back in the first book and it’s how he approached his anti-abortion sermon here. [Read more...]

‘The Anti-Christ Handbook’ now available on Amazon

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I should warn you that purchasing this collection will almost certainly mean that you won’t be Raptured. I don’t believe that Killer Vengeance Jesus is coming back to snatch away all the Real, True Christians, but in the unlikely event that such a thing does happen, the possession of this e-book will almost certainly disqualify you from being whisked off to Heaven. You will be left behind with the rest of us sinners. [Read more...]

NRA: Papa is still preaching (it gets worse)


Jerry Jenkins is, for the most part, terrible at world-building and continuity. His fictional world contradicts itself repeatedly. He introduces huge changes and then forgets about them just a few pages later. But on this one point he is reliably, relentlessly consistent. The misogyny in this chapter — the contempt and disgust for women displayed here — permeates the entirety of this story and of the theology that drives it. [Read more...]

NRA: Papa Don’t Preach 2 (a fanfic interlude)


The following is a work of fanfiction — a mash-up of two of the most appalling things I have ever read: Chapter 14 of Nicolae and Chapter 5 of the book of Numbers (which I quote from here in the New King James translation preferred by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins). This is my idea of how this passage in Nicolae might have read if Rayford Steele stuck to a truly biblical view on abortion. [Read more...]

NRA: Papa don’t preach


Regardless of what one thinks about abortion, this scene doesn’t contribute to the conversation about it in any constructive way. It’s an exercise in tribal affiliation rather than an argument designed or intended to persuade. Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins are writing here for an audience they assume already is — and must be — anti-abortion. Those readers do not need to be convinced that abortion is immoral, and LaHaye and Jenkins aren’t trying to convince them of that here. Their point, rather, is to convince those readers that Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins share their opposition to abortion. The point is to convince readers that LaHaye and Jenkins are unassailably part of the anti-abortion tribe. [Read more...]

NRA: Antichrist & Sons


The idea just doesn’t fit with the rest of the scheme. It doesn’t work with the End Times timetable. Rapture, Antichrist, Tribulation, Armageddon, The End. That all takes place in seven years. So even if the Antichrist gets busy gettin’ busy immediately after the Rapture, his oldest children would only be 6 years old when Killer Jesus came back to wipe out their daddy and all his minions. [Read more...]

NRA: The creationist satellite dish

Satellite's gone up to the skies. (Public domain photo by Petr Kratochvil)

“Bruce’s installing that crazy mini-satellite dish made him think of a verse he once heard or read about shouting the good news from the housetop. Matthew 10:27 said, ‘Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light, and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops.’ … Wasn’t it just like Bruce to take the Bible literally?” [Read more...]