NRA: Spared by death

An absurd papal bull from an absurd pope.

It’s an odd form of consolation: “Perhaps the Lord spared him from the bombing” by killing him with an exotic virus first. Or perhaps the Lord spared him from the virus by killing him with the bomb first. This makes sense to Buck and Tsion and the authors because it’s the same logic at work in their death-denying belief in “the Rapture.” [Read more...]

NRA: Driving through the bloomin’ desert


If we were playing Left Behind Trivia Quiz and the question was “What did Rosenzweig’s formula do?” or “What became of Israel’s deserts after Rosenzweig’s invention?” I would have gotten those questions right. And yet I was dozens of pages into my umpteenth reading of Buck’s escape across the Israeli desert before it struck me that everything about this scene is wrong. [Read more...]

NRA: The miraculous pit stop


In order for this prophecy to unfold as prophesied, the Antichrist will either have to be uncharacteristically devoted to gentlemanly sportsmanship and fair play, thus refusing to stray from the agreed-upon script of prophecy, or else the Antichrist will have to be wholly ignorant of that script. Such ignorance seems impossible, though, in part because of the sensational popularity of things like the Left Behind books. If any future Antichrist were to arrive in accordance with Tim LaHaye’s prophecies, that Antichrist would surely know all about those prophecies because of the best-selling books of Tim LaHaye. Any such Antichrist should therefore be expected to deviate from the script of prophecy described in these books, ensuring that those prophecies never come to pass. [Read more...]

NRA: Driving while Katz


When you’re writing an adventure story in which the hero is fleeing from Country A to Country B, it shouldn’t be too hard to keep track of which country is which. It should be even easier in a book like “Nicolae,” in which the entire world has been simplified down to only two countries. But never underestimate the ability of Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins to get something wrong. [Read more...]

NRA: Jaime’s in Hell


We’re sad because we don’t want Jaime to be in Hell. He was a good guy. Every portrayal of him in this story was positive. He was loyal, faithful, reliable and brave. Those are good qualities and it seems wrong that someone who displayed such good qualities should be punished — punished absolutely with the same absolute punishment that awaits Nicolae and Stonagal and Fortunato and every other despicable villain in this story. [Read more...]

NRA: Feathering the throttle


As Chapter 11 ends, readers are treated to two pages of driving instructions followed by a full page of driving directions. We also encounter two unprecedented anomalies: Buck Williams expresses his gratitude, and Jerry Jenkins does a (very) little bit of research. [Read more...]

NRA: Escape from the land of persecution

And now, for the second time in the series, Buck runs to the Antichrist for protection from the killer Jews.

The bigger problem here is Michael’s contention that “the witnesses predicted in the Scriptures” will be martyred by Israel, “where the real Messiah is hated.” That’s a big change from what the book of Revelation actually says, which is that these witnesses are themselves Israelites who will be martyred by the Beast/Babylon/empire. [Read more...]

Announcing the Left Behind cover and title contest


I’m doing some cutting and pasting and — ugh — Microsoft Word formatting, and I hope too soon have available, via Amazon, Volume 1 of a kinda sorta book-like version of the Left Behind series. This will need a title and a cover. And that’s where you come in. [Read more...]