Left Behind Classic Fridays, No. 83: ‘Today’s Gospel reading’

Apparently Rayford plowed through Matthew, Mark, Luke and John without finding anything notable, striking or worthy of remark. No saying or healing or parable or paradox pulled him up short. Nothing in particular made him stop and scratch his head. Nothing in particular confused or puzzled or angered him. Nothing in particular made his heart leap with joy. He simply read them and fell asleep. [Read more…]

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NRA: A grief ignored

As the lone church elder presiding over the viewing of his late friend Bruce Barnes, Rayford Steele has the opportunity to minister to a congregation racked with grief. But that’s boring. So instead, “Rayford let his mind wander” and he and the authors ignore the grieving in order to awkwardly cram in some strange exposition. [Read more…]

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Left Behind Classic Fridays, No. 82: ‘yes I said yes I will Yes’

Re-read those personal testimonies but imagine that the topic is not religious conversion. Imagine that each is, instead, one of those little video interludes in “When Harry Met Sally” in which some charming old couple is recounting how they first fell in love. This is, after all, what all such testimonies are: people recounting how they fell in love. Disregard that love and such stories are meaningless. They become merely accounts of people going through the motions without context. They become pornography. [Read more…]

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NRA: Buck’s clever plan

Buck hopes that his lying to Verna and preventing her from speaking to the greatest evangelist in the world will lead to her accepting Jesus Christ as her personal Lord and Savior. That would make life so much easier for Buck and the rest of the Tribulation Force. If Verna only converted like they had, then maybe she’d at last agree to help keep all their secrets secret. And maybe she’d start wearing some heels once in a while. [Read more…]

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Left Behind Classic Fridays, No. 81: ‘What’s on second’

want us to read Billings’ surprisingly inaccurate predictions as unerringly accurate. The sense one gets from this passage is that the LaHaye and Jenkins are using Billings’ video message to rewrite the account of the previous 200 pages, to fill in or even change the details of events we’ve already read about. It’s a bit like listening to someone botch the telling of a long joke, when they realize halfway through that they’ve left out essential details and they start backtracking and correcting themselves. [Read more…]

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NRA: A threat to the GIRAT

Verna and Buck work together at a weekly news magazine, and their entire conversation here is premised on the idea that the international manhunt for renegade rabbi Tsion Ben-Judah is the top story in world news for the past week. That would seem absurd even if the past week had been a slow affair, news-wise, but that week actually has included things like the Global Potentate’s all-out nuclear war against his own Global Community, with the ensuing destruction of New York, London and Chicago. [Read more…]

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Left Behind Classic Fridays, No. 80: ‘Still not creepy enough’

At some point I’m sure you’ve sat alone in a room reading a better book than Left Behind and you’ve read something that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up, something that made you look up from the page and glance around the room because you were no longer quite so sure you were alone. Whether you were reading Stephen King or Julian of Norwich, the physical sensation is the same. [Read more…]

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NRA: Everyone dies, rocks fall

It was poor planning on Bruce’s part not to inform his congregation about the first five of the Seal Judgments until after they had already begun. It seems like that bit would have been both more impressive and more practical if he’d shared this information before the war and famine and mass-martyrdom began. But there’s still just barely time to foretell the next big calamity in the sequence — the massive earthquake that John’s Apocalypse describes as the sixth seal. [Read more…]

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