Left Behind Classic Fridays, No. 34: ‘Dr. Dives is bored’

HippocraticOath

The authors, like all of their characters, seem to have forgotten entirely about the scene of tragedy and suffering they have just left behind them. It’s out of sight and out of mind. For LaHaye and Jenkins — as for Rayford, Buck and the doctor — those other people and their suffering and need simply do not exist. Lazarus is invisible. Lazarus does not exist. [Read more...]

Walmart.sheep

WalmartSheep

I don’t think Walmart’s lawyers can argue that Walmart.sheep is anti-Walmart. But I think we can argue that Walmart’s business practices are anti-sheep. Also: “Religious liberty” cheerleaders not lining up behind Christian minister who was fined and arrested over a sacrament; End Times predictions (and death-bets) from Little Hagee and Franklin’s sister; and a Kiwi Sikh lives out a Gospel story. [Read more...]

Left Behind Classic Fridays, No. 33: ‘The Final Frontier’

"Excuse me, but what does God need with a starship?"

Despite Left Behind’s intended “Bible-prophecy” premise, I still haven’t ruled out the space-alien theory. I’m not thinking of the almond-eyed grays of “Close Encounters,” but of something like the powerful creature in “Star Trek V” who masquerades as God. Yeah, I know. The odd-numbered Trek movies mostly suck, but bear with me here. … [Read more...]

Left Behind Classic Fridays, No. 32: ‘Keep an eye on the Jews’

Billions suddenly vanish, including every child and infant on the planet, but the Big Story, Steve Plank says, is that some Jews are coming to New York City.

The remainder of Steve Plank’s e-mail — three pages long — has nothing to do with the disappearance of more than a billion people, including every child and infant on the planet. Instead, Buck’s editor speculates about what he sees as the really important stories — stories about Jews, international bankers, the U.N., and international Jewish bankers at the U.N. Plank suspects that those Jewy Jews are up to something. [Read more...]

Left Behind Classic Fridays, No. 31: ‘Scream 2 morality’

Scream2

The lesson, I suppose, is that our heroes are allowed to be selfish because they are our heroes. Other people, like poor Chris Smith, are not. So just like the peripheral characters who die for their “sins” in a slasher movie, we know that Smith is doomed. The next time we see him we can expect he’ll be dead, another bloodied corpse in the woods of Camp Crystal Lake. [Read more...]

The earth spins on and on and so much news is bad

This stuff really puts the invasive in exotic invasive. (Wikimedia photo by O. Pichard.)

Something the size of a mustard seed can produce a nasty invasive weed … or a hilariously inept piece of graphic design. Also: Residency incentives; civilian courts prove capable; “5 Christian Books I WIsh I’d Never Read;” and the archetype the gatekeepers require us to describe as a historical person. [Read more...]

Left Behind Classic Fridays, No. 30: ‘Thank Heaven for little girls’

MaritalAids

Consider Rayford’s use, again, of the word “emergency” here. Parts of the airport are actually still on fire. The runway is littered with wrecked planes and dead bodies. They have run out of room for incoming planes to land, but more planes are arriving every moment. To Rayford, none of that constitutes an “emergency.” An emergency is something that affects him. [Read more...]

Left Behind Classic Fridays, No. 29: ‘Sorrow Floats’

MCDHONE EC065

The “Rapture” idea, ultimately, is a pretty flimsy device for the denial of death. The scripture passages Tim LaHaye cites in support of this idea were written to give believers hope in the face of inevitable death. For LaHaye and his followers, the fear of death overwhelms that hope. Thus “we will not all SLEEP, but we will be CHANGED” is twisted into “we will not ALL sleep, but WE will be changed.” [Read more...]


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