Vote Longenecker for President

All of the pollsters in the current presidential race report the same phenomenon. They like some things about some candidates, but not everything about any candidate. To date, not one candidate pulls together all the great qualities of each candidate.

They like Fred Thompson’s star appeal and policies. They like John McCain’s tough guy stance. They like Mike Huckabee’s warm hearted charm and true Christian credentials. They like Rudy Guiliani’s sense of humor and hero status. They like John Edwards’ hair do. They like Obama’s charisma. They like Hillary’s … (couldn’t think of anything).

At last a candidate has emerged who combines them all. I know my candidacy is starting late, but people love an underdog. Put me first in the South Carolina primaries, and then let’s go all the way!!

(very large campaign donations may be made through my website)

  • Memphis Aggie

    Its tempting to think about but I like the ban on priests in office. We have too many seemingly worldly priests already.

  • jasoncpetty

    You need a camera with red-beard reduction.

  • bernadette

    You need to kiss a few more babies. And make sure you get photographed doing so.

  • PraiseDivineMercy

    Nice shades!

  • Brother

    Ya got my vote, Padre.Now, I might even leavethe hermitage to actuallycast one!Bro

  • Jeff Miller

    You would have my vote if it didn’t involve you violating canon law to run.

  • phbrown

    You’ve certainly got the hairdo, Father :-).(You did bring it up.)Peace,–Peter

  • the owl of the remove

    I am already a candidate – will we be rivals – or will you be my running mate?

  • Rachel Gray

    I call dibs on being Secretary of War if you win.

  • jeff

    Vote Ron Paul! see a great article on Catholics for Ron Paul

  • tara

    Your a definite write in! Oh, now I have to decide between you or the owl of the remove–Hmmmm…..very hard choice indeed–LOL

  • Anonymous

    Do bald people have to apply sunscreen to the top of their heads?

  • Fr. Dwight Longenecker

    In my administration there will be no Secretary of War. My foreign policy will by strictly isolationist.Owl of the Remove. You are twice banned from running for President because you are a priest and because you are British. Please try to remember that we beat the British in two wars.As to the canon law ruling against priests running…I’ve got a dispensation. It came in the same envelope with my other dispensation. No more rebellion in the ranks on that one please.The sunscreen question is impertinent. Will one of my security men please either tazer that guy or remove him from the room at once.

  • Anonymous

    Don’t Tase me bro! :P

  • blarg

    Mr. President, is the first lady still singing those boorish drinking songs?

  • Fr. Dwight Longenecker

    “We deny that anything like that ever happened. This is part of a vast left wing anti-Catholic conspiracy. I did not have an alcohol-type relationship with that woman.”

  • Rachel Gray

    You’re sounding very Presidential already, Father!

  • John Seymour

    I don’t think the Owl needs to worry – if you don’t have a Secretary of War, it is unlikely we would beat the British a third time. (Leaving aside for the moment whether we can truly count two previous wins.)

  • Memphis Aggie

    Father, I’ve read brilliant and beautiful spiritual posts on this site. However I struggle to reconcile that with the policy of isolationism which I find to be a deeply offensive form of self righteousness. To make the failure to render aid official policy is, to me, a sin of omission. I’m sorry Father, I wish I could be more kind, but I truly struggle to retain respect for a proponent of isolationism. Too often isolationism and pacifism come from those that support our enemies. America First and the Nuclear Freeze are cousins in that regard. God granted this nation it’s strength for a reason, we may fail to properly discern His intent and it proper use, but the gift, like the talents, have a purpose, they must not be buried.Now maybe I should pray the Litany of Humility again this morning, (I don’t think it stuck) but I just can’t let this go unsaid. It’s my hope you’ll respond to this seriously. I have had a lingering sadness over this issue. I am a practical Catholic and open to reason, but your proposal of isolationism, if serious, only further highlights the wisdom of the ban on priests in office.

  • Rachel Gray

    Memphis, I’m sure the isolationist bit was tongue in cheek, just like the the original post and all Father’s other comments in this thread. :)

  • Memphis Aggie

    Thanks Rachel _ I think I need to lightened up a bit.

  • Tertium Quid

    You are doing more good in your sacramental office. Remember Cardinal Richelieu.