No Joke


Apparently the Curt Jester thinks my blog is funny. He even thinks my threat to pull out of the Catholic Church to form the Foursquare American Catholic Apostolic Church of the Zuchetto Reform is some kind of joke.

Let me tell you Mister Curt Jester. I am really angry about this. You don’t seem to understand that me and my followers are insulted by the suggestion that I need a papal indult to wear a zuchetto. We call it the ‘insult of the indult’.

It is people like you who mock religion who will one day have to give an answer…

I have already gathered with my Diocesan House of Bishops (pictured here) to begin forming our new church. My new title is His Holiness Archimandrite and Supreme High Pontiff of the Church of the Zuchetto Reform. In case you have doubts about our apostolic succession, we are descended from the Celtic Orthodox Memphis (Tennessee) line through the Jacobites.

If you want to belong to the True Church, come and join us. Divine Worship takes place every Sunday Morning in the Cathedral of the Most Holy Zuchetto, which is until further notice in my garage.

  • Jeron

    You’re a crack up!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06710927638399318664 A Simple Sinner

    To His Holiness Archimandrite and Supreme High Pontiff of the Church of the Zuchetto ReformGreetins and Peace!As “His Almost Holiness, Patriarch of Toledo, and all the Great Lakes” I would welcome an opportunity to engage in dialogue with a view to possible intercommunion concordots with my Church “The Apostolic Holy Catholic Church of the Midwestern Rite”…Provided you are NOT allergic to dogs. My 5 do make up the vast majority of the faithful of my august man-made, er, autogenic church.-His Almost Holiness, Patriarch of Toledo, and all the Great Lakes, Mar Papaphanoutios

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12373317560249811006 Fr. Dwight Longenecker

    Holiness, I am honored by your most esteemed epistle. Unfortunately the Foursquare American Catholic Apostolic Church of the Zuchetto Reform does not engage in ecumenical dialogs with dogs.Try the Dominicans…Blessings and peace to you,Fraternally yours,Archimandrite and Supreme Pontiff of the Carolinas.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06710927638399318664 A Simple Sinner

    We are outraged!That as the case may be, we understand that you suffer in your ignorance having been wrongly infuenced by the Franks and Alexandrian schools of thinking which were errantly and heretically informed by feline-centrism. Which was only re-enforced by Blessed Julian of Norwhich.We will pray for your conversion to our true faith!-His Almost Holiness, Patriarch of Toledo, and all the Great Lakes, Mar Papaphanoutios

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01562944653624224107 Adrienne

    I think you are all being way too frivolous for Lent. Come Sunday, I am recommending 40 lashes with palm fronds to be administered by a womyn priest from the Order of the We Can Too be Priests (OWCTP), while listening to Kumbaya played on an accordion with banjo backup. That should wipe the silly, supercilious smiles off your smug little faces.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12373317560249811006 Fr. Dwight Longenecker

    Anathema on all womyn preests and their accursed palm fronds.They are all not better than that adventuress Julie Andrews.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13669565372315999650 Jeffrey Smith

    Happens every year. Toward the end of Lent, the blogosphere goes a bit barmy.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01562944653624224107 Adrienne

    Jeffery – I was thinking the same thing. Sort of a mass (no pun intended) hysteria.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01562944653624224107 Adrienne

    oooops! Spelled your name wrong. Jeffrey…sorry

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00553184194930512732 Mephibosheth

    So how does one pronounce FACACZR? I predict the next schism will be over “zee” or “zed”…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06400691261382506978 Jenny

    Have I just tuned into a previously unaired episode of M.A.S.H. starring A-Bishop Hawkeye Pierce? Fr. Mulcahy might object…Seriously, though, since I reside within the (diocese/archdiocese?) provenance of Archimandrite and Supreme Pontiff of the Carolinas, I kneel to his authority and confess that I have no objection whatever to his Zuchetto Reform. Yours in humility and obedience, Jenny

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01562944653624224107 Adrienne

    jenny – you should really consider most seriously joining the Order of the We Can Too be Priests (OWCTP). Why be just a minion when you, as womyn, can ascend the steps of the sanctuary??Have your own Zuchetto (or for us it would be a Zuchetta). Do you, per chance know how to play banjo or accordian?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17845905351822140629 Harrison

    You are truly not the TRUE Foursquare American Catholic Apostolic Church of the Zuchettor Reform.You want to know why? You have no proper liturgical holder for your Zuchetto, that is, the Funghellino!http://wdtprs.com/blog/2008/03/funghellino-where-art-thouI, on the other hand, am fully aware of such Liturgical item. Perhaps you’re not as serious as you think. -His Most Holy Holines, Pope Harrison I, Bishop and Shephard of the TRUE Catholic American Church (America in the sense of North America, because I am from Canada).

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12373317560249811006 Fr. Dwight Longenecker

    I declare anathema on you, you impostor!How can you be a ‘true shepherd’ when you can’t even spell ‘shepherd’.Begone thou wolf. Thou comest only to break in and steal my sheep.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06710927638399318664 A Simple Sinner

    “I declare anathema on you, you impostor!How can you be a ‘true shepherd’ when you can’t even spell ‘shepherd’.”It comes as no suprise to us that you as a recalcitrant and hardened heretic have fallen to the modernistic error of standardized spelling.Prayers that you will abjure these most grievous errors and confess the True Faith remain in our heart.-His Almost Holiness, Patriarch of Toledo, and all the Great Lakes, Mar Papaphanoutios

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05806647503738777388 TMB

    Dear Holiness,Your most humble servant, who happens to reside in your ecclesiastical jurisdiction (Columbia), sends greetings!!Sign me up…I want to belong to the True Church!!! Long live the FACACZR!! By the way, since Divine Worship is in your garage…can I get you to change the oil in my car at the same time?? As a matter of fact, I could probably use a tune-up too!Oh, one other question…when do I get my Zuchetto??TMB(PS You crack me up!! Thanks…this made my day.)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04298493682961935337 Mrs Jackie Parkes MJ

    We’re ALL coming over Fr!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17691145638703824456 kkollwitz

    I’m surprised the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch hasn’t come up.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06710927638399318664 A Simple Sinner

    “I’m surprised the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch hasn’t come up.”That practice has pretty much fallen by the wayside and fallen into disuse…Largely, the controversy all became rather moot after the very unfortunate experience of the shipment of hand grenades with defective pins and timers. A very sad and painful episode indeed. Eternal rest to them all.-His Almost Holiness, Patriarch of Toledo, and all the Great Lakes, Mar Papaphanoutios

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17845905351822140629 Harrison

    I declare anathema on you, you impostor!How can you be a ‘true shepherd’ when you can’t even spell ‘shepherd’.Begone thou wolf. Thou comest only to break in and steal my sheep.Does thou not knoweth that only the true Church (ie, MINE!) spells according to its own whim? Did Christ not give us the keys? I have the power to loose and bind, including words, for we present the Word, from whom all words come. We shall not fall for your false religion and your pagan ways. Embrace the funghellino. It is your only hope for salvation. And you cannot say Anathama to me, for I say it to YOU! May you and your Church burn with the other heretics who claimed the “true Church” for all eternity.-His Most Holy Holines, Pope Harrison I, Bishop and Shephard of the TRUE Catholic American Church (America in the sense of North America, because I am from Canada).

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12373317560249811006 Fr. Dwight Longenecker

    The funghellino is the tool of the devil.Can you not see, poor blind soul, that the word ‘hell’ is in the midst of it?Repent and turn to the true church of the zuchetto reform before it is too late!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17845905351822140629 Harrison

    If the funghellino is a tool of the devil, then why is it that you deny the very tool that is meant to be at service to the zuchetto, your most sacred liturgical object? Ought you not to have something special and sacred to place your most beloved zuchetto on? For someone who holds the zuchetto in such high esteem, you seem to not desire to give it the dignity it deserves by putting your zuchetto on a funghellino when the time in the liturgy permits.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08110341406524333073 chimakuni

    Do you have greeters (reckon they have to double as garage door lifters) at your church? Do you have a sixteen piece orchestra complete with singers? Do you have powerpoint for your sermons? er…homilies? Do you serve coffee and donuts after Mass? Do you have an espresso machine, 28 flavors, decaf and caf? Do you have great fellowship?THESE are what we are looking for in a church…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12373317560249811006 Fr. Dwight Longenecker

    chimakuni, we will have all these once the tithing starts…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08110341406524333073 chimakuni

    oh this is good to know! LOL!Are you going to be uber tithe-ithic and recommend 50 % of ones gross income?Seems that you are off to a great start -

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12373317560249811006 Fr. Dwight Longenecker

    No,we’re going with the gospel. Members must sign over all their assets to FACACAZR

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08110341406524333073 chimakuni

    could be a deal breaker…e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g?Is there an off shore account, your holiness?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12373317560249811006 Fr. Dwight Longenecker

    Do you want to join up or not? Make up your mind.”Because they are lukewarm I shall spew them out of my mouth.”

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08110341406524333073 chimakuni

    well . . . down the block the new church of the ‘most holy idiots’ is forming and they have an automatic garage door opener which permits their greeters to accept bribes, er I mean tithing – but – I like your costumes better – - hmmmmm

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05806647503738777388 TMB

    Your Holiness,Tithing?? All of my assets??Uhh, lemme get back with you later.Can I still get the tune-up and the oil change?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12373317560249811006 Fr. Dwight Longenecker

    Please don’t go. I was only talking about ‘spiritual’ assets.You must see the director of music for a tune up and we only do oil changes on Holy Thursday.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05806647503738777388 TMB

    Your Holiness,I beg for your most holy wisdom and clarification on something. American Papist has a picture posted on his blog under “Photo Caption Call-3/14/08″ Are these clergy of the FACACZR or impostors?? (Look at the guy on the left) Was this picture taken outside of your garage, uhh cathedral??Your humble subject in the capital city,TMBPS See you Thursday for the oil change. Hope it includes a 21 point inspection!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01186202810919174492 Mac McLernon

    A plague on all your houses! I declare myself Popess and the True Church is to be found in my garage.I can’t play the banjo, or the guitar… but I can swing a pretty nifty tambourine.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01186202810919174492 Mac McLernon

    Oh, and my congregation consists of one cat. Definitely no dogs. Especially little yappy ones…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06710927638399318664 A Simple Sinner

    Neither does mine. Shibas do not yap, Basenjis cannot.-His Almost Holiness, Patriarch of Toledo, and all the Great Lakes, Mar Papaphanoutios

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06710927638399318664 A Simple Sinner

    “I can’t play the banjo, or the guitar… but I can swing a pretty nifty tambourine.”OK there, Popess Stevie Nicks!Anathema!-His Almost Holiness, Patriarch of Toledo, and all the Great Lakes, Mar Papaphanoutios

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08110341406524333073 chimakuni

    The “church of the idiots” had to close down…they didn’t pay their electricity bill and the power company shut them down, therefore no garage.If the tamborine is shaking I can sing off tune and key (a brilliant feat, not mastered by many)Spew not forth, I am getting my Easter Bonnet on …

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08110491371985845560 kentuckyliz

    My neighbor grows a lot of zuccheto, and brings me tons of zuccheto, and I don’t know what else to do with it besides bake a bunch of zuccheto bread and give it away and freeze it.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08110491371985845560 kentuckyliz

    I am the Shepherdess of the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church of the Deaconess Phoebe. Kiss my ring!Seriously now, I had a friend who was a Catholic priest, whose friendship I treasured, and he went schismatic and founded his own church and appointed himself bishop. You might be interested in it, Fr D, it’s the Catholic Anglican Church. Since your background is both, hey, why choose? Best of both worlds.http://www.catholicanglican.org/


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