Caitlin O’Rourke on Praying for the Dead

I thought it was really sad and the priests wore black vestments and they had a pretend coffin in front of the altar and I didn’t want to go because Maureen wanted me to come over and play but Aunt Margaret was in her I’m not taking any nonsense kind of mood and Mom would have went but didn’t because Granny was sick and besides its not a holy day of obligation and she didn’t really need to go and she said we could pray for the holy dead if we wanted to but she was going to stay with Granny and help the holy living and she’d go next year because by then Granny would have croaked anyway and she’ll need prayers because Granny is sometimes mean to Mom and asks for cough drops in the middle of the night and sometimes she pees the bed and she watches I Love Lucy all the time which makes Mom mad but I don’t see what’s wrong with it only I like when she watches Beverly Hillbilliles more because that Granny is alot like her and Monsignor Botticelli was the main priest and Fr Florsheim had on a new white cotta with lots of lace that he got from Spain and I don’t know why he didn’t wear his biretta but he just carried it and walked in very solemn and Jimmy Pochowski said it looked like a girlie petticoat when he wore it the first time so I couldn’t believe my eyes because Jimmy Pochowski has joined the altar servers which is something he said he would never do because it is for sissie girlie boys but he was there with his hair combed and Fr Florsheim won’t let them wear sneakers so he had his good shoes on too and they were even shined I couldn’t believe my eyes and he walked in very solemn and I hardly recognized him and I couldn’t believe my eyes and when I told Maureen the next day she didn’t believe me so she asked Jimmy at lunch and he pretended that he was not a server and that he was never there and said he was playing video games with his cousin and that’s because he is a big chicken and scared of what the other boys might think and when I heard it I was so mad that I went over and told him that he was too there at the special Mass to pray for the dead and he shouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t and I said I didn’t care what everyone else thought about him but I thought he looked so nice I could even kiss him and if he was my brother Seamus I would but he just laughed at me so I punched him instead and he said he wouldn’t pray for me if I was dead and Kevin his friend who is a Methodist and I don’t even know why he wants to go to St Bridget’s anyway if he’s a Methodist said that it was stupid praying for the dead and when I told Aunt Margaret she said that the poor boy was an ignoramus and Methodists were just Baptists who could read and I shouldn’t take any notice because the dead people aren’t really dead anyway they’re just alive somewhere else and if Granny dies its not like she’s dead forever but it’s more like she’s gone to another country to live and so why shouldn’t we pray for her just like we do now and she said it so nice that I wished I could remember it when I see that Methodist Kevin again because then I’ll be able to explain it but I will probably forget but it wouldn’t matter because Aunt Margaret said if he died you could pray for his soul anyway as long as he was baptized he would go to Purgatory even if he didn’t believe in it but Fr Florsheim wasn’t sure about that but even if you can’t I’ll bet you can light a candle for somebody like that and that’s what I’m going to do if Kevin dies but I hope he doesn’t.

About Fr. Dwight Longenecker
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11484509700642430451 Theocoid

    Wow. No one writes a run-on sentence like you, Fr. L. Or I guess, I should say, Caitlin.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05584140126211527252 Fr Ray Blake

    Lace at a Requiem!Obviously a dangerous Liberal that Fr Florsheim.

  • http://chiralcapers.wordpress.com/ chiralcapers

    Absolutely exhausting. I can't get through four lines of this character.Anthony OPL

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14661155158237286805 Heide

    A masterpiece, Father. I'm going to save this and share it with the next person who complains about the All Souls EF Solemn High Mass held at my parish on Monday (the FIRST EVER in this parish, c. 1967).

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07215093180074844386 the Egyptian

    "Methodists were just Baptists who could read"weeeeeee that girl is a trip, where do you get your ideas anyway. My wife's mother (a Methodist, father in law is a Baptist) would like that

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12034958643291687014 cricket

    Nope, sorry. It's perfect except for "video games" you can't have the "Beverly Hillbillies" and "birettas" in the same post a "video games".

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07932665331766567610 jedesto

    Fr. Dwight,This comment will sound like sour grapes and it's awfully nit-picky, but you need a new photo of Caitlin. The one that introduced her was perfect at the time of her first Holy Communion, but it no longer fits her wonderful run-on musings.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11153355585571358736 truthfinder

    No, please keep the photo. Inside Caitlin, there will always be THIS Caitlin. :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11740482509910163332 Gail F

    Someday you have to collect these in a book and sell them!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11544682350629002025 Niall Mor

    "Methodists are just Baptists who can read." That's a snark worthy of Flannery O' Connor! :)


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