Why hello dear, what a nice surprise! I’m glad you could come.
I’ve just this minute come in from the Piggly Wiggly and I couldn’t resist one of their pumpkin pies. You’ll have a slice won’t you? Let me get my gloves and hat off. You know how to put on the kettle don’t you? That’s nice.
What’s that? What do I think of the new translation?Well I don’t really know. I haven’t given it much thought dear.
Did you say that Father Bob doesn’t like the new translation of the Mass? I can understand that. Change is difficult at the best of times isn’t it? I can see that some priests will find it a nuisance, but think what it must have been like back in the 1960s when suddenly they changed from the Latin to English! Good heavens, what a fuss there was! But we all survived it didn’t we? I’m going to have a little bit of whipped cream on my pie dear. Would you like some? Good. Oh there’s the kettle whistling! What a cheerful sound!
Come to think of it, I don’t think the new translation will make much of a difference at all. Take dear Fr Bob at your church. What a good man he is, and such a caring pastor. He’s always at the ball game after school, and always one to be there at parish dinners with a good story and a drink in his hand, but to tell you the truth dear, he’s not really a liturgical expert now is he? Why I went to St John the Baptist one Sunday and he began Mass by asking us if anyone had seen the Red Sox game. Then he said, “In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit”, and I didn’t know if I was coming or going. Then, dear man, he felt he always had to make little jokes the whole time. He reminded me of a game show host. Now doesn’t that sound terrible? I don’t mean it as ugly as it came out, but you see, he’s only trying to be nice to the people and I suppose he wants the Mass to be enjoyable.
So the new translation’s not going to make much of a difference for Fr Bob now is it? I think all it will do is make his life rather difficult. He’s getting older now and has trouble with all the words sometimes anyway, because I think he has problems with his teeth, and all those extra long words and long sentences… I don’t suppose that will make him celebrate the Mass much differently. He’ll just be trying to find his way around the book. Besides, I expect he’ll continue making up the words as it suits him just like he’s always done.
Do I sound cynical dear? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel despondent. In fact I’m feeling quite chipper to tell you the truth. I’m happy for the new translation to be with us, and I suppose it will make a difference in the long run, but for now I’m just glad I go to St Aloysius where it’s all very simple and Father just says the words and does the actions and doesn’t make much fuss. He lets it all speak for itself. That’s the beauty of it isn’t it dear? Just to let the Mass speak for itself? After all, the Mass has been around far longer than we have. I heard someone say the Mass should change us, we shouldn’t change the Mass.
Oh goodness, what do I know about it? Not much I’m afraid, but it’s the Mass and it’s bigger than all of us my dear, and I suppose all I really want to do is be there and sort of let it wash over me. Do you know what I mean? No?
Oh. I’m sorry. I get so befuddled over theological matters. Let’s change the subject. I really asked you to come around to see if you might help us out with the annual Thanksgiving Dinner for the homeless. You would? Oh how wonderful!