Todd on the Pope in Africa

Guest blogger Todd Unctuous is top commentator for MSM. With a degree in Media Studies from Scranton Community College, Todd writes for many papers and websites, and is known for his incisive writing, objective reporting and razor sharp comment.


I see that the Roman Catholic Pope is visiting Africa at this time in order to convert the heathen. No doubt as he sees his empire crumbling in the more developed and well educated countries he wants to find more souls among those who are still superstitious and simple minded.

This is clearly a racist, imperialist assault on poor, ignorant, black people who don’t know any better. Here we have an old white, European man dressed in white robes coming to the ‘dark continent’ to win converts to his cause. Doesn’t he understand? The poor Africans are incapable of a proper, intellectual response to his doctrinal preaching against condoms. This is a form of racism which is despicable and an insult to African people.

This is a ‘Holy Father’ who regularly condemns millions to death by refusing to allow them to use condoms to protect themselves from AIDS. So we see the virtual murder of millions of innocent black people in a form of planned ‘ethnic cleansing’. No doubt there are sinister forces behind all this–forces that wish to obliterate the negro race from the face of the earth.

This is the head of a church that is also engaged in a war against Planned Parenthood in this country. Planned Parenthood is an admirable organization supported by our national government with grants of millions of dollars, so it must be offering a legitimate service to the poor. Here is a charity that provides help to many poor black women who are suffering. from unwelcome pregnancies.They have done nothing to deserve their plight. As President Obama has said, “Why should they be punished with a child?” Planned Parenthood has stepped in to help millions of black women terminate their pregnancies and give them freedom, yet the Pope in Rome is against such practical care for the poor black women.

I have read that Pope has visited Benin, which is a city in the large country of Africa. Benin is the capital of the native religion Voodoo otherwise known as Vodun. This religion is a natural, earth based spirituality. The simple, ignorant black people pray to the nature gods in an innocent and child like way. If any religion is attractive to me it is earth-based spiritualities like Vodun. Yet the Pope feels it is his right to criticize the local people’s religion. In a breath taking expression of medieval superstition he declares that his own religion should ‘banish the evil spirits’ of Vodun. Once again the white, imperialist, former Nazi–Pope Ratzi–shows his hatred of other racial groups.

Who is he to talk about ‘superstition’ when he believes himself to be the ‘Vicar of Christ’ and ‘God’s Infallible Voice on Earth’? The sooner we rid ourselves of such medieval superstitious religions and follow gentle earth-based spiritualities like Vodun the better. Wicca is another one. Gertrude–one of my ex wives now lives in Asheville, North Carolina and is very heavily involved in the Wicca religion.

She has put on quite a bit of weight, but she carries it well, and I must say that she has never been happier and healthier. When I visited her there last year to see our daughter Stacey (who has been re-named Moonbeam by Gertrude and her partner) I shared in one of their communal lunar circles. I was very much impressed with the dignity and simplicity of the ritual. This is the religion of the enlightened future. Not the religion of the Spanish Inquisition.

Todd Unctuous is forty two.


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  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09329460796892819648 Pheelyp

    Is this some sort of satire? This article drips of vitriol and is so aggressively anti-Catholic that I imagine its purpose is to act as some sort of foil against which we could clarify and affirm the beliefs that we hold.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04469448997139436175 Michael

    The funniest thing I've read in weeks. Thanks!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11740482509910163332 Gail F

    Ha ha ha, great one! Todd is SOOOO respectful of the ignorant, poor, deluded people of the earth and their quaint ways! It strikes me that he has been 42 for a long time now.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00277955670557938387 Daddio

    I love this character!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11544682350629002025 Niall Mor

    Yes, Pheelyp, this article is a parody of much of the religion reporting done by the mainstream media.


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