Todd Unctuous on Bill Clinton

Guest blogger Todd Unctuous is top commentator for MSM. With a degree in Media Studies from Scranton Community College, Todd writes for many papers and websites, and is known for his incisive writing, objective reporting and razor sharp comment.

I see from today’s headlines that one of America’s greatest statesmen, former President William Jefferson Rockefeller Clinton has been awarded the Father of the Year award. In a world where prizes for genuine accomplishments are rare it is heart warming to see President Clinton receive such a well earned award.

His dedication not only to his daughter Chelsea Jefferson Rodham Clinton, but also to his lovely wife the statesman and Secretary of Defense, Hillary Jefferson Rodham Clinton, BaD, Ma (Oxon) is heart warming indeed. When I see the Clinton family together I immediately think of other heart warming American families who stand as role models for our country of America. I think of  Fred and Wilma Flintstone with their charming daughter Pebbles. Or the loving Kennedy clan. Like the Kennedy men, Bill Clinton was able to combine strong, loving, gentle and humorous fathering with a lust for life and a zest for living that was irrepressible. Who can forget their wonderful parties with White House interns, the moonlight drives home and the dazzling friendships with movie stars? To think they had all that and the comforts of home, the faithful wife, the adoring children and the cozy fireside…

One of the strengths of Bill Clinton’s fathering was his ability to break free from the restricting conventions of “conventional” family life. He was able to be a strong and supportive partner of Hillary Jefferson Rodham Roosevelt Clinton while busy working late in the Oval Office. Not only was he able to hold down the job of the most important person in the world, and be a loving father to “Pebbles”, but he also took time out of his busy schedule to pay attention to the needs of the young interns, office workers and secretaries who he worked with over the years. These extra “daughters” also demanded his love, and he was able to give of himself to their needs. One only needs to see photographs and videos of these smiling young women embracing him to realize what a good “father” he was to them.

His creative approach to parenting might be called “open fatherhood”. He showed that he was not bound by the conventions of traditional patriarchy with it’s oppression and abuse of women. He allowed Hillary Rodham Jefferson Roosevelt Mandela Clinton to become her own person and not just stay home like the mother in Leave it to Beaver. He encouraged his daughter to become one of the most successful  news reporters in the country–getting to the top of her profession sheerly on her good looks and amazing talent and without using any of her parents’ contacts or never once trading on her famous name. In his relationships with the other women in his life he was always respectful and gentlemanly–being a genial father figure to the many young ladies in his circle.

Indeed, as President Emeritus of our nation hasn’t he really become a Father to us All? Perhaps this is why his name “William Jefferson Clinton” includes a reference to the father of our country, Thomas Jefferson Kincade–who not only wrote the Emancipation Proclamation, but also became “America’s Painter of Light.”

President Bill Clinton’s award as Father of the Year is an honor rightly bestowed. By only having one child he was able to show our nation of men how to focus his fathering on one special child. By promoting choice in the so called “abortion debate” he was able to help other men make good choices about whether to be a father or not. Just like every child should be a wanted child, so every father should want to be a father. Bill Clinton has done a great service to fathers world over by showing the way.

This award today  reminds me of the great day when the world’s community of very important people awarded President Barack Obama with the much-deserved Nobel Peace Prize. Since the award he has gone on to merit the honor by keeping peace throughout the world through the use of selective bombing raids, surgical strikes with drones, the occupation of two countries by our peace keeping forces. He too has shown how to be a father to two beautiful girls, and he has affirmed the role of parenting by emphasizing publicly that he would not want his daughters to be punished with a child. Again showing that every child should be a wanted child.

I realize that there will be some extreme right wingers who may disagree with the selection of President Bill Clinton as Father of the Year. They will say he was more concerned with becoming President and having sexual affairs then being a good father. They are predictable. These people who cling to their religion and guns will criticize any award that is made. They are sour, angry people usually with eight or ten children who they “home school”. The women staying at home to bake cookies and the men avoiding the responsibility of a serious career to play “touch football” or take their boys hunting. No doubt these are the sort of people who think it is quaint and cozy to read bedtime Bible stories to their children. This “Little House on the Prairie” type of America is out of date and out of touch.

I am not opposed to religion. Although I am not myself a religious person, I do believe myself to be spiritual. I certainly respect people with a strong and vibrant faith like Nancy Pelosi, Melinda Gates, the female vocalist Justin Bieber and the well known entertainer Katherine Jefferson Schori. I also believe in the freedom of worship which was anshrined in our nations’ Bill of Rites. Religious people should have the freedom to do what they want in their churches, synagogues and former supermarkets. This freedom should extend for a full two hours for every Sunday morning. Unless the person is Jewish, Muslim, Hindu or Seventh Day Adventists who worship on other days.

I personally am looking forward to reading excerpts from Bill Clinton’s book on being a Father. I have been told by contacts in the publishing industry that the title of the book is Thank Heaven for Little Girls. Which is the title of a song by the famous French singer Pepe LePew, and it helps me wind up this column by saying a heart felt, “Thank Heaven for William Jefferson Clinton—Father of the Year!”

Todd Unctuous is forty-two.

For those who find Todd’s post disconcerting or controversial take time to learn more about him here.

To read all of Todd’s posts use the ‘category’ tool in the right sidebar.

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Todd Unctuous on the Synod of Bishops
Can a Woman be a Patriarch?
Why Indiana’s Religious Freedom Bill Will Backfire
  • http://thewayoutthere1.blogspot.com/ Fr Levi

    Ha ha! Very funny, Father … what a world we live in!

  • Michael

    I’m going to be laughing all day after reading this one. Thanks!

  • Will

    I am not sure if this is supposed to be humorous or cynical or both. Everybody knows what Bill Clinton did. We do not know the real relationships he has with his wife and daughter. People get strange awards all of the time, whether they apply for them or not. Let us move on to the next country singer award show.

  • Ginny

    Well done, Father.
    Actually, Bill Clinton is quite qualified to receive this sinister award because the beneficiary of the donations collected is Save the Children, an organization in cahoots with Planned Parenthood.

  • vox borealis

    Todd has become, I think, my favorite guest blogger. Such perfect pitch and tone…he has a real ability to connect the dots and relate to the common man. A heart felt congratulations to Fr. Longenecker from inviting him to contribute.

  • Maggie Goff

    You are totally hilarious!!!! “Hillary Rodham Jefferson Roosevelt Mandela Clinton ” Hahahaha!

  • http://PortaCaeli Patricius

    This is surely the best yet!

  • michael

    How can they say Pres. Clinton represents the ideal husband and father after all he’s only been married once. Unlike Speaker Gingrich who is on wife three (and counting). That shows a much greater commitment to marriages.

  • http://www.thecatholicbeat.com Gail Finke

    I don’t know which line I like more, “I certainly respect people with a strong and vibrant faith like Nancy Pelosi, Melinda Gates, the female vocalist Justin Bieber and the well known entertainer Katherine Jefferson Schori.” or “I also believe in the freedom of worship which was anshrined in our nations’ Bill of Rites. Religious people should have the freedom to do what they want in their churches, synagogues and former supermarkets. This freedom should extend for a full two hours for every Sunday morning.” And Hillary’s growing name! Todd has outdone himself this time!

  • Julie C.

    Keep up the good work, Father! How about a short ebook written by Todd? He has always been my favorite.

  • Ginny

    Ahh, did you really mean to cast Hillary as a fat bad ma? Not sure what the BaD, Ma (oxon) stands for, but if that is an academic degree, the play on initials is priceless.

  • Fr. Dwight Longenecker

    You got the joke! a BaD is a Bachelor of Arts in Divinity and an MA (Oxon) is the designation of a Master of Arts from Oxford, and yes, I did intend for it to signal Bad Mama

  • Andy

    Todd’s finest work to date!

  • FW Ken

    That really was funny (I know… always late to the party).


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