Duane Mandible on the Jewish Question

Guest blogger, Duane Mandible is a contributing editor to The Truth Hurts, a bi-monthly journal of politics, economics and opinion. He also contributes regularly to Freedom Monthly; Illuminations and The Sojourner. Duane is the author of Guns and Knives will Save Your Children’s Lives. He is Vice President of the Sacred Society of St Philibustre, and enjoys hunting rattlesnakes, square dancing and watching re runs of comedy classics. He is unmarried.

There has been some debate in the pages of some “weblogs” on the question of whether we at the Sacred Society of St Philibustre are “anti-Semitic.” As Vice President and Public Relations officer I should make it absolutely clear that we are not anti-Semitic.

To clarify the situation further I must point out that most Jews are not Semitic. They are of Eastern European decent. Semites are Middle Eastern people like Arabs and Muslims. We do not hate them.  Neither do we hate all Jews. We wish them well on the same basis that we wish the best for all inferior races. No, we do not hate Jews, but we are, however, opposed to Rabbinic Judaism because they are opposed to us.

Rabbinic Judaism is that form of the ancient Jewish religion which is organized to dominate the world through the corruption of Gentile society and control of the world banking system. This secret cabal which is made up of Jewish people, the makers of Ben and Gerry’s Ice Cream and Hollywood film directors, has been operating since the dawn of time. A very fascinating document was brought to my attention by one of our newer members, Mr Maxwell (Mad Max) Gibson which is called The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. It is a record of a secret meeting of some Rabbinic Jews in Russia and it shows how they planned the Russian Revolution, the First World War, the Second World War, the cancellation of  I Love Lucy, the assassination of Princess Diana, Mr Michael Jackson and the infiltration of the “Vatican” bank.

Our Archprimate, The Most Rt. Rev’d. and Blessed Major (ret’d) Donald Rickles has done further research into this most fascinating subject and discovered a large number of secret members of the Rabbinic Jewish worldwide Freemason/Mormon conspiracy. It is easy to spot the secret members because of their Jewish sounding names. Among the famous secret Rabbinic Jews are “Mitt” Romney, Abraham Lincoln, Sid Vicious, Katz by Andrew Lloyd Webber, the Katzenjammer Kidz, Sammy Davis Jr, Sam I Am, Daniel Day-Lewis, Levi Jeans, Chevy to the Levy, the Bildeburgers, Rube Goldberg, Ice Berg, Ham Burgler, Whoopi Goldberg and everyone from Harrisburg.

It should be obvious that our main concern at the Sacred Society of St Philbustre is not anti-Semitism, but the preservation and promotion of the ancient traditions of our church: the Western Ambrosianic Rite (non-collegian) and the wearing of the be-ribboned maniple. We are well aware that the Rabbinic Judaistic religion hates all that our religion stands for and while we are not anti-Semitic, we do understand that these people are in great need. We do not hate them. We feel compassion on them and want nothing more than for them to turn away from their wicked ways and join our religion so they can find true joy and happiness as we have.

Go here for Duane Mandible on the New Pope; Go here for Duane Mandible on Vampires and use the categories tool in the right sidebar to read all of Duane’s fascinating opinions…

  • Heloise1

    Does he write for The Onion also?

  • A J MacDonald Jr

    The New Testament is anti-Semitic, according to Jews. Perhaps we should all reject Christ and the preaching of the Gospel to placate them?

    • RoxanneRoxanadana

      Maybe to some, but not to all. Now look. That was two thousand years ago. Perhaps Jews then were a bad bunch. Perhaps only some Jews then were a bad bunch. But Jesus was one of those Jews. The main thing is to remember that whatever was said about those Jews two thousand years ago really can’t be applied to Jewish people today. That’s simple reality. No one would say Russians today are bad because in the nineteenth century Russia was looked upon as being something of an aggressive ogre.

  • Rebecca Fuentes

    In my part of the country, hunting rattlesnakes isn’t satire, it’s necessity. :)

  • johnnyc

    As Catholics, aren’t we supposed to be evangelizing the Jews? Along with all non Catholics?

  • Charlotte

    Sadly, this stuff is hard to parody. Like your atheist “guest blogger”, he’s not that far from the real thing.


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