Talking Adoption: An interview with Benjamin Corey (Part 1)

Talking Adoption: An interview with Benjamin Corey (Part 1) July 28, 2015

I launched an investigation into the trend of Christian adoptions, which seems strange to call a trend, since it involves children and parents. Over the next several weeks, I’ll be periodically sharing perspectives from parents and children from adopted families. You can find the entire series here.

Talking Adoption with Formerly Fundie - Surprising Faith (Patheos)
Image © Rogier van Bakel, Eagle Eye Photography, 2014

First up: Benjamin Corey, aka Formerly Fundie here on Patheos Progressive Christian. Ben graciously agreed to talk with me about his decision to adopt and the Christian adoption movement in general. If you don’t know Ben’s story already, you can read about his experience with adoption, as well as the difficult story of what happened after he and his wife adopted two sisters from Peru. What follows is the Part 1 of our conversation, edited for clarity and space.

Alicia: You said in your bio that you and your wife have chosen “adoption as a lifestyle.” What does that mean to you?

Ben: For us, adoption as a lifestyle means that we came to adoption not because of fertility issues but because of a desire to offer children without a family the opportunity to live in a family. And specifically, we’ve been passionate about girls, and girls who have been passed over, girls who are over, at a high risk of exploitation and trafficking.  This is something God put on our heart.

Alicia: Was there anything that you read or anybody that you talked to that made you decide to go this route?

Ben: Honestly, the very first time that I started to develop a heart for the fatherless—for orphans—was an episode of 20/20. It’s almost a famous episode where they exposed the horrific conditions of orphanages in Romania. I think that was almost a flagship moment that really put the international orphan issue on the map for America, on a popular level. So that was the beginning, but you know, growing up evangelical, I went on missions trips in high school and so had gotten to see orphanages around the world. Orphanages are the kind of place where all you have to do is spend one afternoon inside an orphanage and it’s almost impossible to not walk away and not have a very special place in your heart for kids that don’t have families. You can never be the same. It’s just something that can’t be un-seen and it leads to something that can’t be un-felt.

Alicia: Is that why you chose to adopt internationally instead of here?

Ben: Yeah, just because of my experience. I think we need people to adopt here in the United States from the foster care system but there’s certainly also a need for international adoption. I celebrate whatever God’s calling, he puts on an individual heart.

Alicia: So you guys felt a calling to adopt from the very beginning.

Ben: Yes, in fact, the night that I met my wife at a wedding, and her and I began chatting it up and our conversation was all about adoption. So that was our connection from the very first night: to give our lives for adoption. You know, at first we thought we would have some biological kids and then adopt and quote-unquote “fit a kid into our family” and God really kind of changed that attitude in our hearts, which we felt for us was the wrong attitude. The way we describe it is that for us, adoption became Plan A.

Alicia: I don’t know if I’ve met anybody else who’s done that.

Ben: For me, I had a big moment where I actually realized that producing biological offspring had become an idol to me. It was really strange and I don’t know where it came from, but it was something inside me that I just wanted a son—I wanted to carry on my family name—I wanted to see what my eyes looked like in another person. And these things were so important to me and they became so important that it really began to overshadow what God’s calling—God’s clear path—for us was. So as an act of worship I decided to take that off the table and make that a permanent impossibility and just to throw myself fully to caring for kids who otherwise wouldn’t have a lot of real life choices.

Alicia: Wow. Has your wife also felt like this her whole life?

Ben: I think she as well definitely had the desire to produce biological offspring but God took that desire away from her too. I still remember one day she said, “You know, God has completely removed the desire for me to have a biological child.” We’re kind of convinced that God doesn’t ask a husband or wife to do something apart from the other. Our philosophy is that if God puts a calling on our heart, he’ll convince both of us. That’s always been the case and it’s always been in our own time. We’ve often arrived at different issues by very different paths and sometimes years apart. The things that we move forward on are the ones that God has brought us to the same agreement.

Stay tuned for Part 2 – the difficulties of international adoption, and why it’s not for everyone!


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