Although I love a good joke, and I like to laugh, I’m the world’s worst joke-teller. Often I will say to my husband, “I heard a great joke today…oh, I wish I could remember it, so I could tell you!”
I forget premises, and punchlines always escape me. Sadly, my joke-telling usually starts out, “Okay, there was this guy…no, wait, it was two guys…no wait, it was two guys and a banana…” and ends with, “well…it was funny when I heard it…”
But with a blog, I don’t have such worries – I can just cut and paste a good one when I hear it, and on this cold, blustery day I needed a laugh for several reasons. This clever joke provided. Enjoy!
A wealthy old lady decided to go on a photo safari in Africa. She took her faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the Dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.
So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.
The dachshund thinks, “Well, I’m in deep trouble now!” Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here.” Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and he slinks away into the trees.
“Whew,” says the leopard. “That was close. That dachshund nearly had me.”
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.
But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine.”
Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet; and just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says, “Where the hell is that bloody monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to find me another leopard!”