Christine Todd Whitman: Affable Idiot

I know Stalin or someone talked about useful idiots, but that’s overused. Some idiots are of dubious use, but they sure are affable about it!

Take Christine Todd Whitman, (please). The former Governor of NJ (who, let’s see if I remember this correctly, oh yes, increased spending and taxes in New Jersey and was SUCH an idiot – so politically tone-deaf – she allowed herself to be photographed pretending to frisk a black man in handcuffs…) and former EPA honchess is, according to Drudge, about to unleash the latest (yawn) BUSH BASHING BOOK! (Wow, we haven’t seen enough of THOSE in the past year!) just before the president’s Inauguration!

Gosh!!! A Bush-Bashing book TIMED to be as embarrassing as possible to the president! I’m so amazed by this big surprise, so stunned by the newness of this idea, that I’m plottzing over here!!!

Show of hands, please…who didn’t see this coming?

As they say in New Jersey, “C’mere…Lemmee fill you in about Ms. Whitman.” She’s bored with the Country Club, where the limosine liberals therein have been filling her head with all sorts of “you should be out there, Christie, you’re skills are being wasted; you’re under-appreciated by the right…” mantras.

If you’re a rich woman lacking in both intellect and imagination, and you’re looking for something to do with your time – something that will increase your flagging influence and stroke the estrogen-depleted ego and engine…well…the best way to create a buzz is to find the easiest target, the one the press most loves to shoot at, and take your own aim.

Understand, there is nothing difficult in doing what Ms. Whitman has done; there is nothing difficult in biting the last hand that fed you, when you are assured the full protection and coverage (both literal and figurative coverage) of the press. Ms. Whitman is simply applying for that space at “the cool-kids lunchtable,” in the liberal lunchroom. You know, the one that has recently been vacated by Michael Moore.

You see, all the beautiful, rich and powerful media moguls put up with the rather disgusting Mr. Moore (who would ordinarily NEVER be tolerated by that too-pretty, too-coifed bunch) as long as he would speak for them. He could be dirty, so long as none of his mud splashed on them, and their pretty things. Now, it seems he may have been instrumental in helping President Bush retain his office, and he has been (or is being) quietly dropped. There is a seat open at the cool kids table – a rather large seat – and applications are being accepted.

Christine Todd Whitman, daughter of nobility, is doing a most ignoble and cowardly thing. She is submitting her book for peer review, and betting that the lack of wisdom contained therein, coupled with her photogenic, stupidly affable (and dull and predictable) television interviews will, at best, propel her back into some sort of political office or, at worst, put her in the running for a long-term talking-head/pundit gig.

Hey, when you’re a woman lacking acumen, but not ambition…this is the equivalent of a peerage. Regular airtime as a Sister-of-Venom, she will join the ranks of Ugly, Vulgar and Tawdry – ummm…sorry, I mean Couric, Ratner and Clift, and their crazy Aunt Mo as she spits out reliably anti-Bushian positions and hopes – ohhhh, as they allllll hope – for a position under President Hillary(!) Someday.

Christine Todd Whitman is Rosencrantz. I’m sure there is a Guildenstern in the wings waiting to join her. It is as easy as lying.

Ignoble. Cowardly. Unimaginative. Transparent. Affable idiot.

About Elizabeth Scalia