But did any name their children “Dubya?”

Got a letter passed to me from a friend of a friend of a friend whose son is an Army doctor in Iraq:

Dear Dad,

The best laid plans of mice and men…

General Order 1A states that there will be no fraternization between the sexes while stationed in Iraq- therefore, there will be no pregnant service members and no need for OB-Gyn doctors. We only have one assigned to OIF, and he is in Baghdad.

On election eve, no civilian traffic is allowed on the road in the entire country of Iraq, but nobody thought about “What to do when the Iraqi women went into labor?” You guessed the answer- bring them to the American Hospital.

Who will deliver the Iraqi women when they show up fully dilated and crowning? – the Surgeon on Call. Who was the Surgeon on Call? Me.

Iraqi OB was interesting. It was all done through the interpreter “Yes, Mr. Aziz, it will be necessary for the Infidel physician to actually examine your wife while he delivers your son…”

“No, Mrs. Talil.. many doctors in America operate with helmets and body armor, if they come from bad neighborhoods”

“ No, Mrs Jalabeeri the doctor is not Jewish, but the anesthesiologist is”

Actually, it was nice to bring new life into the world, and forget about the war for a few hours. The next challenge is to pry the newborns away from the nurses and get them back to their mothers.

It was the most fun we have had since I arrived.

P.S. None of them named their kids Saddam.

Love, B

About Elizabeth Scalia