Funniest. Blogpost. Ever.

I laughed and laughed at these two college level essays posted by Mamacita (she swears they’re real). Then I read the comments section and laughed some more – full fledged tears streaming down my eyes.

And I feel such love for the writers, too. Okay, I’m on painkillers (the lower dose) and loving everyone, but still. Both essays are brilliant in their ways, but I must vote the first as my favorite (since the second writer had a bit of an attitude); the first writer seemed to be sincerely trying to get from here to there. The second…just took my breath away, but honestly, the Andre the Giant/Princess Bride/Morphine Syndrome trifecta of the first essay still beat it!

Go read these. And as Obi’s Sister warns, don’t have any liquid nearby!

And really, I must leave off being so picky about politicians and their sloppy grammar. They’re geniuses, all of them, flipping geniuses!

UPDATE: This post – wherein a mother tries to explain the facts of life to her son is also not meant to be read while drinking. And if explaining it to your kids made you uncomfortable, then consider yourself warned. (H/T Pianogirl)

About Elizabeth Scalia
  • oddball

    My Dear Anchoress,

    I really enjoyed the first one-obviously the writer learned the English language by having his parents read “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” to him while watching “WWF Smackdown”

    Have a Blessed day.

  • oddball

    My Dear Anchoress,

    I really enjoyed the first one-obviously the writer learned the English language by having his parents read “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” to him while watching “WWF Smackdown”

    Have a Blessed day.

  • http://www.justgrits.wordpress.com Obis_Sister

    As a parent who has struggled with helping my own kids learn how to write WELL in high school and college (and you’ve been here as well), those two essays left me breathless. And laughing/crying enough that the cube-neighbor (nosy bugger that he is) just HAD to come see what was sooooo funny. And then of course, the email avalanche began…

    As a sort-of aside, when my daughter took Frosh English, the teacher handed back the first assignment to other kids in the class with the admonishment that text messaging was not proper usage for the English langauge – they had one chance to fix this paper. Any other papers turned in with any text message type usage would result in an automatic F. He loved my girl’s writing style and tried to get her to change her major. My question then (and now) was “Where were the high school teachers that should have nipped that in the bud?”

  • http://www.justgrits.wordpress.com Obis_Sister

    As a parent who has struggled with helping my own kids learn how to write WELL in high school and college (and you’ve been here as well), those two essays left me breathless. And laughing/crying enough that the cube-neighbor (nosy bugger that he is) just HAD to come see what was sooooo funny. And then of course, the email avalanche began…

    As a sort-of aside, when my daughter took Frosh English, the teacher handed back the first assignment to other kids in the class with the admonishment that text messaging was not proper usage for the English langauge – they had one chance to fix this paper. Any other papers turned in with any text message type usage would result in an automatic F. He loved my girl’s writing style and tried to get her to change her major. My question then (and now) was “Where were the high school teachers that should have nipped that in the bud?”

  • Mommynator

    Is there a Guinness record for the longest run-on sentence in the world? Because the first one would qualify.

    And I scratched my head over the morphine syndrome until I remembered that Lincoln was cursed with Marfan’s syndrome (the joys of working in the medical field).

    I didn’t laugh so much as drop my jaw and widen my eyes in disbelief. Oh, dear. I guess they don’t teach grammar like they used to. My best friend who taught remedial English to college freshmen would have run out of red ink and had a nervous breakdown.

    Glad to hear you’re better.

  • Mommynator

    Is there a Guinness record for the longest run-on sentence in the world? Because the first one would qualify.

    And I scratched my head over the morphine syndrome until I remembered that Lincoln was cursed with Marfan’s syndrome (the joys of working in the medical field).

    I didn’t laugh so much as drop my jaw and widen my eyes in disbelief. Oh, dear. I guess they don’t teach grammar like they used to. My best friend who taught remedial English to college freshmen would have run out of red ink and had a nervous breakdown.

    Glad to hear you’re better.

  • kelleyb

    These are College level papers? Both papers speak volumes on the state of secondary education in this nation.
    kelleyb

  • kelleyb

    These are College level papers? Both papers speak volumes on the state of secondary education in this nation.
    kelleyb

  • stephanie

    OMG-I loved the link in the updates. Very appropo to my life, since my godson is “that age” and his mom had to explain it to him last night! If only I’d had this to send her earlier….

  • stephanie

    OMG-I loved the link in the updates. Very appropo to my life, since my godson is “that age” and his mom had to explain it to him last night! If only I’d had this to send her earlier….

  • smmtheory

    Yabbut… where the hell are all the pirates?!

  • smmtheory

    Yabbut… where the hell are all the pirates?!

  • http://simplycatholic.wordpress.com/ simplycatholic

    That was too good. I laughed so hard on the “birds and the bees” story I had tears rolling down my checks and my sides hurt. Thank you.

  • http://simplycatholic.wordpress.com/ simplycatholic

    That was too good. I laughed so hard on the “birds and the bees” story I had tears rolling down my checks and my sides hurt. Thank you.

  • Pingback: Joy and laughter « Simply Catholic

  • Pingback: Joy and laughter « Simply Catholic

  • http://benningswritingpad.blogspot.com/ benning

    Andre the Giant, Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Kennedy, and Morphine Syndrome …. ahhhh, Literature!

  • http://benningswritingpad.blogspot.com/ benning

    Andre the Giant, Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Kennedy, and Morphine Syndrome …. ahhhh, Literature!

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