The Early Loneliness by which a Martha is Formed

The Early Loneliness by which a Martha is Formed July 30, 2015

Christ in the House of Martha and Mary/Henryk Siemiradzki/Public Domain
Christ in the House of Martha and Mary/Henryk Siemiradzki/Public Domain
My Mother in Law — bless her, she’s a living saint — is a Martha. She can’t sit still; she’s happier when she is bustling about, cooking, cleaning, sending food to a neighbor who is feeling unwell, putting out “coffee and a little something.”

Me? I’m a Mary; I’m happy to be hospitable, but while my MIL’s kitchen and household run like clockwork mine is, we might say, a bit more laid back. I’m okay, for instance, with letting the dishes sit while we chat a while between a meal and the coffee. Mom has to get those things off the table and into the dishwasher, before she can allow herself to laze out in self-indulgent chatter. But first, “let me get that pot brewing…”

She can’t relax. I love her to death, but she cannot relax. This is not a woman who would appreciate the gift of a spa day.

I like what Father Bede Jarrett, OP, has written about Martha and Mary, because I think it puts the compassionate finger on what drives these restless busy bees of the world. When I read it I suddenly understood many of the people in my life. Knowing what I do of them, I see that Father Jarrett is spot-on:

Notice who those are that spend most of their time rushing from one distraction to another; they are those who have felt the torment of loneliness so fiercely that they cannot endure to be by themselves. So lonely are they that they spend all their time feverishly pursuing one pleasure after another or one work after another — anything or anybody that will take their minds off the torment of themselves. The oppression that sin effects in them makes them anxious to live to the utmost their lives in the full stream of human existence. Pleasure is heaped up in crowded hours to make them forget the aching void of their hearts.

Indeed, it is their greatest punishment that they finally succeed, until they lose at last all perception of their pain, whereas the saints are so full in themselves of love that they must draw off alone to be away from all others; so accompanied are they by the dear presence of their Friend that they cannot stay and waste (as, to them it seems) the precious hours with any other thought than of him.

Thus sat Mary at the feet of Jesus, while Martha, busied over many things that were unnecessary, hurried to and fro, sometimes in his presence and sometimes out of it. This does not mean that we can show our love only by retiring out of the world to the cloister; but it does imply that only those can stand the loneliness of life who have their hearts aflame with the love of another.
— from Classic Catholic Meditations, by By Bede Jarrett O.P.

Isn’t that great?


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