husband as priest…

… the husband is the priest of his domestic church. The wife has the role of Mary. This is the way marriage was designed, it’s Rule. Any change of power or role reversal will cause am imbalance. I want the man that I am to be with to step up and accept, happily, his role as priest of his domestic church. This is why I can never be with a non-Catholic man. Or even a Catholic that does not practice his faith.

There was a time when I felt differently and openly expressed this, causing a slight scandle. Admittedly, it was during a time when I was very much in deep like with a handsome non-Catholic gentleman. Feelings clouded good judgement by allowing superficial commonalities to supersede fundamental principles. Never again.

About Katrina Fernandez

Mackerel Snapping Papist

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09384415590309803327 Saint Michael Come To Our Defense

    Grace.Her parents named her well.God bless all the Catholic women that hold this world together.Us men have dominion here, but women keep it from falling apart completely.*

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02220512226096382610 SherryTex

    Read your post on marriage and the one prior back, excellent words and wisdom. Just wanted you to know. prayers for your discernment.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07217936266957675449 Donna

    Kat,I know it's hard, especially when you have a son who needs a father. I feel for you.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12084691508359621184 TCN

    One quiet word of dissent to this post. I have said before–I married a nonpracticing Lutheran who is my best friend. Many rosaries later and the death of John Paul II led to a remarkable conversion on his part and now he leads this domestic church through hell and high water. This did not happen overnight, nor do I ever claim any part in his conversion, but the Lord will provide if we don't shut off all avenues of provender. Just my opinion.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09384415590309803327 Saint Michael Come To Our Defense

    "…I married a nonpracticing Lutheran who is my best friend…"If he wasn't the best friend of Christ, how could he be your best friend?Blessed be God in all His angels and all His saints that He gave the grace of conversion to your husband, but marrying someone that placed himself in direct opposition to God and His will is dangerous. To your soul and the souls of your children.And to the souls of people that would follow your example.A woman marries a man hoping he will change; a man marries a woman hoping she will not.Hardly ever works out.Women should not fall for the line “I love you, so let me drag you into mortal sin by having sex outside of marriage.”Or, “I love you with all my heart, I just don’t believe in religion.”There is no other way to spell Loser.*

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04229134781669560505 Rick

    Perhaps you need to cast your nets in other places where there are more Catholic fishes e.g. Malta, Philippines, Georgia, …Or kiss a few frogs – afterall what is essential is invisible to the eye.(I said a little prayer for your intention.)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12084691508359621184 TCN

    "Saint Michael Come To Our Defense said…"Oh for heaven's sake. The Catechism states directly that our separated brethren have some of the Truth on their side. It is hardly for you to judge anyone's position in regard to God and His providence. It is exactly that sort of exclusionary thinking that leads us away from our role as missionaries and is antithetical to the new evangelization called for by JPII and our current Holy Father. Get off your high horse and clear the 2 x 4 out of your own eye before you dare to judge me or my actions.God draws straight with crooked lines, but He can't do much without a little humility on the receiving end. My husband is a firm and fruitful practicing Catholic, and that would not have happened if he had not married me.And then God tells me I have to pray for you, too./rant off

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09384415590309803327 Saint Michael Come To Our Defense

    Anger does not a catechism make. Here are the words of the Pontiffs of Holy Mother Church:Regarding mixed marriages between Catholics and non-Catholics [i.e., valid, but illicit without the required conditions —Ed.], Pope Clement XI wrote, "The Church abhors such marriages, which greatly endanger and deform the spirit" (June 25, 1706).In Matrimonia Quae in Locis (Nov. 4, 1741) Benedict XIV spoke of "sacrilegious unions," of "detestable marriages, always…condemned and prohibited by Holy Mother Church." And Pope Pius VI wrote, "This type of conduct gives rise to the danger of perverting the Catholic party…We cannot abandon our position because we do not have the right to do so" (Letter to the Archbishop of Malines, July, 1782).Pope Pius VII reiterated the tradition:The Church has always abhorred marriages between Catholics and heretics and has always prohibited them with very severe laws because they always conceal the grave danger of perversion and estrangement from the faith of the Catholic spouse, and because the Catholic education of the children of both sexes is always doubtful and suspect. (Letter to the Archbishop of Mayence, Oct. 8, 1803)As a symbol of Christ’s union with His Church (Eph. 5:22,23), Christian marriage is a "social" sacrament. Its purpose is to give children to God, to adore Him, and to give new members to the Church and citizens to heaven (Leo XIII, Ubi Arcanum). Seeing this, one can understand why the Church, far from considering a mixed marriage "very beautiful," has always abhorred and reproved it. Keeping divine law safe through the "guarantees," the Church eventually tolerated it. The purpose of this tolerance was defined by Pope Pius VII in his above-quoted letter to the Archbishop of Mayence: In no way can tolerance [of such marriages] be seen as their being approved and allowed. Rather, such marriages are only tolerated out of the need to avoid even greater evils, and permission is not given wholeheartedly.The Church Fathers had already recognized that in such marriages there is no image of Christ’s union with His Church, but rather an image of Christ’s own being prostituted. (See Tertullian, Ad uxorem, 2, 3-4; St. Ambrose, Ep. 19,7; St. Jerome, Adv.Lovin. 1,10; St. Augustine, De fide et oper. 19,38).On the subject of women who wish to enter into mixed marriages, Pope Pius VIII wrote that such women must remember "our religion’s firmest doctrine is ‘Outside the Catholic Church, no one can be saved’" (Litteris Acerbo, Mar. 25, 1830). Consequently, in the case of a woman entering into such a marriage, her conduct would be cruel and atrocious because she knows that her children’s education depends entirely on what the non-Catholic father wants. We are not permitted to do bad that good may come of it.*

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16506547355314136320 Lee Gilbert

    What amazing reactions to your decision, Kat! It must be the right one!Back in the day, my Irish Catholic grandmother married my Norwegian Lutheran grandfather. After many years and novenas to the Sacred Heart, he did indeed convert to the faith about two years before his death. I assume that his cancers, heart disease and financial catastrophes played a role in this somehow.Following this example, my two aunts married non-Catholic men, both of whom left them with three and four children to raise by themselves. Both these aunts left the Church, and one died outside the Church.As much as I am glad for my grandparents marriage, since otherwise I would not exist, during the long course of their marriage my Norwegian Lutheran grandfather simply was not in position to be the spiritual leader of his household or to give his children the Catholic formation that they needed. Now that you have settled on this decision, Kat, may God bless you and give you His highest and best!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12084691508359621184 TCN

    Kat: This is getting nasty. Sorry for crapping up the thread with my heresy. Seems we have a holier-than-thou crowd here now that can't tolerate variation from the straight and narrow, so I guess I'm not really welcome here anymore.God bless you in your discernment and I do hope you find all happiness and blessings of every kind.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06117353945124506952 The Crescat

    TCN, you did no such thing and your comments all always welcome. And if St. Michael does not want your prayers, I will gladly accept them.I think it would do every one well to remember that I blog about what I know, which is from my perspective based on my life experiences… as well as my limitations. Saying that I can not date a non-Catholic is not a condemnation on those who do, but a truth I discovered based on my own spiritual weakness. I will post more later. I will also like to remind everyone here that we are speaking to our brothers and sisters in Christ. Our fellow Catholics. And if respect can not shown, post will start to disappear. Again, with the infighting. Before you post a comment, ask yourself this… "Is this the way I would speak to my mother? Would I give this disrespect to my father? And are my utterances the kind that would please God? Or are they just occasions for my own spiritual/intellectual PRIDE?"I think we are all adults here, please do not make me repeat this. Basic decency and common courtesy are not things I should need to remind my good readers to practice.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07068372596554507251 Dre

    TCN, I liked reading your comment. The Church teaches that we MAY marry non-Catholics. Even though she is not a big fan of the situation. It's important to stick with what the Church actually teaches. Dissent goes in both directions. It's a beautiful thing when a Catholic lives their faith and ends up converting someone by how they live their life. Most non-Catholics are Catholic and they don't even know it! They are such good people, but most of them have never been exposed to the Catholic Faith!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06962374096401238994 shadowlands

    TCN, I could use some of the unwanted prayers as well!! So could some of the people I represent, they would be very grateful.God bless you and preserve you from the 'perfected'.And to those who would ridicule people of other faiths, Our Lady called a Lutheran, a journalist. His name was Wayne Weible. Our Lady enters into relationship with non-Catholics, they are her children. We are ALL her children. While we were yet sinners (ie; no-one was Catholic) Christ died for us. Are we loving others in the same manner? Would we die for non-Catholics? Jesus did. You and me.Peace.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13012659654328281150 Agnes B Bullock

    SPOT ON KAT!!!!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14074075865609145679 pfinley

    I guess I can give a male perspective – I struggle with being Priest of My household, probably in many of the same ways a priest at the altar struggle. I rely on the grace of God, and my wife's patience and prayers to fulfill thisMy wife, is herself a convert. As far as faith is concerned, is a far better catholic then I have ever been.I wouldnt say I converted her..I think I was a good guide. We all know who does the true conversion .Its important I think to remember what marriage is, in the context of a sacrament first, and social expression second – Marriage, shows Christ's love and grace in an intimate union to the world. I think if a person can honestly see themselves in that union, then a non catholic christian certainly shouldnt be over lookedI have been to Catholic weddings…that I couldnt run from fast enough, and I have been to protestant weddings, that I was blinded by His light shown, in the union of the two that were there. Sacraments are an outward sign of God's grace… and he doesnt need help from us to show itI think its important to remember, that we as the church, and her priests, are conduants of that grace, but arent the initiators. It will and does manifest itself, without any help from us

  • http://drawntocatholicism.myopenid.com/ drawntocatholicism

    Great photo.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14436063825172153343 Ink

    Saint Michael,Clearly you've never met a non-Catholic who has some interest towards Catholicism. The Truth will out, ultimately. The way TCN describes her husband, it is clear he is a good man. I have met many "Catholics" (the quotes are there for a reason) who are not good in any sense. And to refuse prayers? You almost sound like an atheist.~Ink

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09384415590309803327 Saint Michael Come To Our Defense

    Dear Mrs. Ink,I wrote your name as Mrs. Ivy in my response.Sorry.*

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14436063825172153343 Ink

    As much as I'd love to sink to your level, Saint Michael, I think I shall take the high road. Pointless bickering will simply give poor Kat a headache. I leave you with this warning, however: watch your words. You would do well to be more charitable. Angry people like you are the reason so many non-Catholics find Catholicism detestable.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09384415590309803327 Saint Michael Come To Our Defense

    "Angry people like you are the reason so many non-Catholics find Catholicism detestable…"Only two of the Jews that left Egypt made it to the Holy Land.Because of his lack of Faith, Moses was not allowed to cross the Jordan.The two original Jews that made it, prayed with humble and contrite hearts, and spoke Truth, which is detestable to false believers and non-believers. They appeared to be ‘angry’ and intolerant to the Jews whose bones rest short of the Jordan.No one is stopping anyone from being Catholic. By God’s grace we are saved; we come to repentance and conversion only by Him. If someone says Catholicism is detestable, take it for what it means; they hate Christ and His Bride.They make that conclusion on their own.*

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14436063825172153343 Ink

    There is a certain degree of charitability which is respected and sought-after in the Catholic tradition. Jumping all over every word that any commenter ever posts, as if you have nothing better to do with your time except pick fights? Last time I checked, that didn't count as charitable. We're all on the same side here. Please don't cause issues. (By the way, I'm not married.)

  • Paul Nichols

    This subject always interests me since I didn't revert back to the Faith until I'd been married for a few years.The cross of religious dis-unity is heavy. There is no Simon who comes along to help; no Veronica to wipe your brow. You're never more along than when you carry a cross by yourself.To paraphrase – "Blessed are you when you are mocked and hated for His sake".

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09384415590309803327 Saint Michael Come To Our Defense

    "…The cross of religious dis-unity is heavy. There is no Simon who comes along to help; no Veronica to wipe your brow. You're never more along than when you carry a cross by yourself…"We never carry our cross alone.Never.Simon did not help Christ; neither did Seraphina, who became known as Vero Icon. Veronica.Christ blessed them with what they were allowed to do. Is it any wonder that she gave Him her mantilla? It is a sign of complete submission by a woman before the Blessed Sacrament.Simon was a chicken farmer in a hurry to collect his eggs.After he got back home, he found a miracle of many beautiful multi-colored eggs.That is why eggs are painted at Easter.Further, Claudia was given the grace of conversion, while her husband threw himself in the river and drowned.God does not need us for anything.And if we were united in all things, we would become as Babylon; that's just our human nature.May God our Lord in His infinite and supreme goodness be pleased to give us His abundant grace, that we may know His most holy will, and entirely fulfill it. *


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