Bees and Vicious Chickens, Oh my…

… So now I am being in talked into getting bees.

Let me re-cap the insanity.

First there was the rabbit trapping venture where one neighbor used my land to lay traps in return for some stew, then it was the veggie swap, then chickens – which I am still totally doing- and next is beekeeping. The goat is still undecided.

Oh, and if you read this and run into my son please do not let on those rabbits were eaten. We told him Mr. L was selling them to the pet store so parents could buy their kids pet rabbits for Easter when he wanted to know what all the cages in the woods were for.

You know, there was a time when I used to joke about the great old spinster fear of dying alone and my body going unnoticed by anyone except a very hungry cat. But the higher probability is that I will die of rabies from eating an infected rabbit and the chickens will peck my corpse into an unrecognizable mess. Or I will die from multiple bees stings and the chickens will peck my corpse into an unrecognizable mess. Or the dudes on the ATV’s across the street will accidentally shoot me with a crossbow while out hunting coyotes and the chickens will peck my corpse into an unrecognizable mess.

This is getting out of hand. What next, denim jumpers?!?

About Katrina Fernandez

Mackerel Snapping Papist

  • Janet Butler

    OMW, I’m cackling at the computer screen….

  • robertgwirth

    Kat, if you do drop dead, do it outside so they won’t have to break into your house to remove your corpse.   Just trying to be helpful here.  ;-)

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/6FXBDAF55MIOGI2JCC3DGV2Y4Y Andrew Kosmowski

    “What next, denim jumpers?!?” Only if you make them yourself.

  • http://www.facebook.com/timcanny Tim Canny

    A friend of mine does a diy/gardening/cooking/beekeeping video podcast at the URL Gardenfork.tv. You should check out his videos on beginning beekeeping.

  • Taximom

    You HAVE TO check out House Unseen.Life Unscripted.   The blogger has chickens AND goats and she is a wonderful and really funny Catholic woman.  You guys would love each other’s posts.

  • Anonymous

    If you have a fear of dropping dead, just purchase one of my ‘Just Dropped Dead’ necklaces.

    It is for people that have a morbid fear of dropping dead alone.

    It monitors your heart beat, and when it stops sends a signal to the nearest Emergency  Response Team

    Even in Rural areas.

    GPS is great, isn’t it?

    *

  • Jeanne Chabot

    No denim jumpers please.  I think you should try this style instead: 
    http://ny-image3.etsy.com/il_430xN.54471103.jpg

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/6FXBDAF55MIOGI2JCC3DGV2Y4Y Andrew Kosmowski

       Yee-HAW!

  • Ron

    This story is impeckable!! Pun intended :-)

  • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/thecrescat Katrina Fernandez

    Maybe you should stick to ant farming. You just put them in a glass case a watch them go. There’s not too much of a chance that they would get out and kill you. As long as they are not red ants or Army Ants.
        Of course, there’s always the chance that you could fall into a sink hole in your yard and end up in the septic tank where the acids would completely dissolve you without a trace. Then the bees and chickens wouldn’t get to mutilate your corpse.

  • Rfrendz

    Maybe you should stick to ant farming. You just put them in a glass case a watch them go. There’s not too much of a chance that they would get out and kill you. As long as they are not red ants or Army Ants.
    Of course, there’s always the chance that you could fall into a sink hole in your yard and end up in the septic tank where the acids would completely dissolve you without a trace. Then the bees and chickens wouldn’t get to mutilate your corpse.

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/thecrescat Katrina Fernandez

      Thanks dad. I forgot about septic tank death.  You’re always so helpful. :-P

  • Bridget

    My friend has a pig – inherited from a neighbor – and TONS of chickens.  She used to have 2 goats, a mother and son pair, but she had to give them away.  They kept escaping the property and jumping on the cars (leaving hoof prints!).  They also gave graphic biology lessons to her boys apparently.  The male (son!!) would frequently mount the female (his mom!).  At one point my friend’s 9yo son saw it and yelled out, “Mom!  That’s ILLEGAL!”  Ha!  Too funny, that farm life…

    • Bridget

      Good gravy, farm talk leads to my excessive exclamation point usage.  Sorry about that.

  • Gregg the Obscure

    I’ve known lots of farm folk from the 60s to the present. Nary a denim jumper among them.  Flour-sack dresses for the ladies were pretty common though. My folks were both from farm background, so when I was about 7, we got a couple ducklings. We raised them and, in the autumn, turned them into dinner. I didn’t eat duck for a few years after that, but it was a significant educational experience and I’m thankful for it (and have been since at least my teen years). A decapitated duck runs around in quite a frenzy, kind of like . . . .

  • Amy P.

    We live in a city, but far enough out that it’s that strange zone between the urban and the suburban.  We have a small yard, but I’m getting a gigantic planter box and planting veggies.  Won’t be able to do chickens or bees, but I will do produce.

    Oh, and raspberries/blueberries.


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