Sometimes you just want to hear someone say, “You don’t have to do this.”

Original article published on Live Action News, June 6 2012. Yup, that’s right. I’m writing over at Live Action News too. I must say, it’s quite an honor to be working with such a wonderful and influential pro-life organization.

“I honestly thought for a while that if I ignored things, they would go away, or at least solve themselves. I’d be too far along for an abortion. But the woman taking my appointment snapped me out of that quick by telling me time was running out. I made the appointment and thought, This is it, no going back… Unless…

And here is where my mind went wildly racing…

Unless I pull into the parking lot and am met by screaming pro-lifers waving pictures of aborted babies and calling me names like “slut” and “tramp.”

I imagined an entire scenario in my mind where I was victimized and chased off by these fanatical Christians and missed my appointment and now it was too late. People would feel sorry for me instead of thinking I was a whore.

Yes, in my youth I was a pro-abortion advocate, and I thought that all pro-life advocates were crazy religious zealots who foamed at the mouth and spewed Bible verses like profanities…like a pro-life version of the Westboro Baptist Church. God Hates Whores!

This is a common stereotype that pro-abortion advocates have about pro-life folks because, honestly, this is how a lot of pro-choice supporters debate. I debated this way myself, by being louder and more vulgar than my opponent, who would just give up frustrated and walk away. I actually considered it “winning” when this happened.

So I can sympathize to some extent when I hear pro-abortion advocates vilify pro-lifers. Immediately it tells me two things about them: they have never honestly spoken to a pro-life advocate, and this is how they themselves debate. I can adjust my behavior accordingly and prepare myself for the verbal lashing.

So yes, I had decided that if I drove to the clinic and there were angry pro-lifers frowning at me and pelting me with Bibles, I would turn around and go home. In fact, on the drive there I actually prayed that there would be angry pro-lifers drunk on their own piety, waiting there for me…like vultures. Please please please, God, let there be Your people standing in between me and the door to the clinic.

In fact, I was so convinced there would be a pro-life presence I drove right by the place. Twice. It was such a quiet, unassuming gray building. This couldn’t be the place, I thought. But I drove by one more time and checked the number on the front of the building – it didn’t have the clinic’s name on the building or on any sign – before finally putting my car in park. Then I waited.

And waited.”

You can read the rest here.

About Katrina Fernandez

Mackerel Snapping Papist

  • L.

    I would like to say, as a pro-abortion advocate, that I think many (not all, but many) of the pro-life people I know are compassionate people with pure and admirable intentions. I respect their point of view — heck, I used to hold it myself.

    Demonizing those who think differently is never the way to find common ground, or to change hearts and minds, for EITHER side.

    • Katrina Fernandez

      You’re right about demonize opposing sides. So what change your mind from pro-life to pro-abortion advocate? I’m just curious. 

  • L.

    I made my original comment below before the comment thread erupted at Live Action News, but it was a good example of what I was talking about — both sides, both with strong feelings, talking AT each other, throwing words around.

  • Gail Finke

    Kat: My heart was in my mouth reading that, even though I already knew what the outcome was. What a great thing to remind people about — just be there. I am ashamed that I’ve done it so seldomly.

    Like you I used to think that all anti-abortion people were insane zealots. And I was never an abortion advocate. That’s just what I thought they were all like, because to me abortion was a sad fact of life and why would anyone think otherwise? It was just there, and you were nuts if you thought it shouldn’t be.