Relentlessly Gay Yard, Meet My Relentlessly Catholic Yard…

UPDATED 7/1/15 … I KNEW IT! It was all a fabrication. Never doubt me, people.

… When I moved into my new home I announced the arrival that the Papists where coming, not with trumpets and loud gongs, but with statuary. Lots and lots of statuary. My yard looks like a damn cemetery minus the dead people.

In other words, I have a relentlessly Catholic yard.

I also know for a fact that my relentlessly Catholic yard annoys the hell out of my neighbors. How do I know? They’ve told me so. Can you be anymore Catholic, they’ve asked?

Why yes, yes I can.

Little did I know I missed a very profitable opportunity. Apparently H8 pays well these days and being a “victim” and crying “TRIGGERED” is big business.

Meet the ‘relentlessly gay gardener’ with a ‘relentlessly gay yard.‘

Here’s the gist — Gay gardener decorates yard with rainbow colored mason jars and suddenly an anti-gay letter appears on her doorstep. Gay gardener posts to internet and sets up a GoFundMe page so she can profit make her yard even gayer in retaliation.

To date, gay gardener has over thirty five THOUSAND dollars in donations.

Cha-ching.

I’m just gonna call bull shit on this right now. I know hate mail and I know hate mail from ‘Christians’. I received my fair share of Christian hate mail and I can tell you right now why I think that letter was not written by a disgruntled Christian because…

1) NOT ENOUGH CAPS
2) needs moar exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3) suspicious absence of mispesllings and run-on senstenecs because you kow who you get when your emotional and typing really fast, like the Ho9ly Spirit is moving through and ytour in a hatemail typing trance!!!

And the last, biggest give away that this letter is probably a complete and utter bull shit hoax…

4) No Christian writing hate mail ever has just signed anything with something as tame as, “A Concerned Home Owner.”

No, a more believable letter would have been signed by ‘A Precious Daughter of Christ Who’s Praying For Your Salvation From on High Because the Angels Weep For Your Soul’ or some other bizarre overly pious string of exclamations.

Yup, being offended and ‘victimized’ is all the rage now. Just ask that fake black lady and that offended waitress.

In other news – if you truly have a relentlessly Catholic yard why not enter the Fourth Annual Catholic Garden Photo Contest sponsored by Catholic Company. Contest starts today and runs through Sept 7th.

You can buy more statuary with your winnings, sure to be a hit with your HOA.