All Stocked Up On Crazy Over Here, Thanks…

aint nobody got time for demons

... Deep, dark fears. Everyone's got them. Animator Fran Krause takes those fears and illustrates them for his web comic, Deep Dark Fears.In the spirit of irrational fears, cause Lord knows I got a million, here's my number #1 fear -- reflective surfaces... because that's how the demons get in.I hate reflections in windows at night, mirrors, and as an added precaution I had all the artwork in my home framed in non-reflective, glare free, museum quality glass. … [Read more...]

Oh, you’re still single. Let me fix that …


... Thanksgiving is next week. You know what that means.Single ladies, brace yourselves. Annoyingly intrusive questions about your personal life are coming to a Thanksgiving dinner table near you.You can grimly smile and nod through another holiday get together or you can proactively shut them up once and for all.Introducing... Rent an ex-felon boyfriend.It's Thanksgiving. Want to skip that long, insulting conversation about how you're still single? About how your … [Read more...]

I Hate Corn…


... Specifically, I hate corn fields.I've talked about my Mirkwood, those tangled dark woods that menacingly exist at the edge of my land and where even the dog is afraid to venture in too deeply.I've talked about the insane wildlife that prowls the grounds under the cover of night -- The Chupracabras, the coyotes, the demonic deer, disgusting bugs, and tormenting birds that chirp and screech all night. And the toads. When it rains it's the plague of frogs.Now I have a new menace … [Read more...]

Pride Whopper, Envy Whopper, Gluttony Whopper etc…


... How proud is your burger?I'm sorry but this is the silliest bit of pandering I've seen all week.Spongebob is not impressed.Life imitating art. … [Read more...]

Oh, internet…


... Today I will conquer the world!I will rise at dawn and spend an hour in contemplative prayer. Then I will take the dog for a jog and exercise, followed by a nice hot shower and a healthy homemade breakfast. Then I will write something profound and meaningful on my blog and change the world.The rest of my day will be spent productively doing yard work. Then I will toast my efforts with an adult libation enjoyed in the comfort of my hammock.Reality.I will hit my snooze … [Read more...]

“Jesus was a prophet, like the great Mohammed.”


... Can you imagine hearing those words. Spoken in lieu of a homily. Delivered by a Muslim. During the liturgy of mass.Jesus was a prophet equal to Mohammed.Would you have been able to contain your rage?From a Q & A answered by Legionary of Christ Father Edward McNamara, professor of liturgy and dean of theology at the Regina Apostolorum university.Rome, June 24, 2014 ( our sacred liturgy on Pentecost Sunday, in place of the homily, two leaders … [Read more...]

Being Vegan makes you better than most people…


... Because this made me totally laugh, and why should I have all the fun.Submitted on a rental application --Have you or anyone to be living in this property been arrested and/or convicted for any criminal offense? Yes/No (Circle one) EXPLAIN FULLY:Yes, in April of 2010 I was stopped at a DUI checkpoint and blew a .10, not my proudest moment but I have used this experience as a catalyst to turn my life around and am a better person. I am now a cyclist and a vegan. … [Read more...]

Look at me. Ma, look at me. Look at me. Look at meeeeeeeee…


... In case you were wondering why I don't update the blog as much as I used to -- meet my workplace environment.What? Were you trying to get something done around here? That's cute. … [Read more...]

Unicorns Poop Magic Rainbows…


... That's it. That's all I got. Unicorns poop magic rainbows.For ten days I've been unable to write a single thing. Ten days! Ten long, miserable days of nothing.Desperate times calling for desperate measure, I locked myself in my bedroom till I have written something of worth. I've been here 5 hours 12 minutes and 7 second. Eight seconds. Nine seconds.Like any normal person locked in a room with a computer and a stalled creative process... I started binging on … [Read more...]