Relentlessly Gay Yard, Meet My Relentlessly Catholic Yard…

relentessly catholic yard

UPDATED 7/1/15 ... I KNEW IT! It was all a fabrication. Never doubt me, people.... When I moved into my new home I announced the arrival that the Papists where coming, not with trumpets and loud gongs, but with statuary. Lots and lots of statuary. My yard looks like a damn cemetery minus the dead people.In other words, I have a relentlessly Catholic yard.I also know for a fact that my relentlessly Catholic yard annoys the hell out of my neighbors. How do I know? They've told me … [Read more...]

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Hiss.Spit.Growl.Punch.Stab.Kick…

11416330_10205945710855525_4761558056738610552_o

... Diet update, week whatever.Current weight : 279 (yeah it went up)Current mood : whatever, pass the nachosProjected outcome : Who the hell caresWarning: I'm about to drop a couple well deserved expletives. Clear the kids out of the room.Things I've Learned- There is so only so much poached chicken a person can eat - Don't look at yourself in the mirror while working out. It's not pretty.sourceInspiration- These people, I suppose.NSV- I … [Read more...]

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Bruce Jenner on a Ledge, World Tells Him To “JUMP”…

How unicorns feel about Bruce Jenner

... I keep reading about how Bruce Jenner is finally being "true" to himself by becoming a herself. I guess when truth is subjective anything is possible.There is nothing truthful about Bruce Jenner's appearance on the cover of Vanity Fair. It's facial feminization surgery, synthetic hormone treatments, plastic breasts, corsets, cosmetics, studio lighting, professional hairstylists, renowned photographers, and photoshop. Lots and lots of photoshop.It's a gross caricature of … [Read more...]

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Can’t a girl even walk down the street anymore…

I will use this purse in a threatening manner

... I totally lost my shit today.I was walking to my car after work when I passed a young lady walking her dog - not an uncommon occurrence since my office is in a semi-residential neighborhood with a lot of foot traffic.What was uncommon about this incident was that this particular woman was also being sexually harassed by a man standing on the corner obscenely gesturing and yelling sexually explicit comments directed at her.She kept her head down and walked faster but it looked … [Read more...]

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Easter Liturgies Behaving Badly – Berkeley, CA …

Oooooooo Holy now

... I really enjoyed Joseph Susanka's Lenten Music series. I hope he follows it up with an Easter Music Series. The Catholic Church really has so much sensory beauty to enjoy - art, music, architecture etc.Hmm. This gives me the idea to start an Easter series of my own, beginning with yesterday's post, titled "Easter Liturgies Behaving Badly."I keep going back to the 1:55 mark to watch that one guy prance across the frame. It's so magical and fills me with hearty laughter. … [Read more...]

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Happy Easter y’all…

get it out of my eyes and ears

... My Easter gift to you all. Because I am a giver.There was a time when I seriously considered moving to Seattle. Emphasis on was.I know, I know. Easter mass is long, and crowded, and you have to park miles away and get there an hour early to camp out in the pews because of the Chreasters. But just know, somewhere in Seattle someone suffered infinitely more.They should be giving out golden tickets to heaven for making it through that liturgy. … [Read more...]

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All stocked up over here…

provisions_

... The city is shut down. All is silent and still. Nothing stirs but the gentle sounds of falling snow and sleet as it blankets the streets with ice. Beautiful, precious ice. The kind of ice that strikes fear in hearts all across the south. The fear that can mean only one thing.Snow day.I've got all the provisions I need to get me through the next day or so. Come at me, snow. … [Read more...]

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Did someone say “snow”…

Mother of God, we're all gonna die.

... As is typical in the South, someone said the "S" word and now that state's on high alert.They've salted the roads, gotten school children's hopes up, and sent grocery shoppers in a panic... all for the possibility of one inch of snow. You read that right. One inch of snow. One inch.Not so tough now, cowboy. … [Read more...]

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Every.Single.Cotton.Pickin.Time…

rear view mirror horror

... I can't be the only one who's constantly jumping at the reflection of the backseat headrests in their car's rear-view mirror. … [Read more...]

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