Turning The Sacraments into Perfunctory Gestures…

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... See, this is why I could never be a catechist. I would lose my mind.Warning: languageA close acquaintance told me that she has several kids in her 2nd grade First Communion class who are obviously not ready. They've failed every test and consistently not handed in work. When I asked her if she just spoke to the parents, she said she's tried. They always promise things will improve but they never do. She wanted my advice.I suggested she tell the parents exactly what she told … [Read more...]

Caw, Caw. The End is Nigh…

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... I'm don't put much stock in omens, therefore I don't find it the least bit ominous that a seagull and a crow attacked two doves. The fact that the doves where released from an Apostolic Palace window during the Pope's appeal for peace in Ukraine says less about the Ukraine's future and more about the nature of gulls and crows.Being from Virginia Beach, where your chances of being crapped on by a seagull are in the top percentages, I can attest to just how vicious and nasty … [Read more...]

Rabbit Stew…

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... Awwww. We took care of the class rabbit over the weekend.Just look at his fuzzy little face and floppy little years. I bet you're like me, thinking that caring for a fuzzy bunny is warm cuddles and fluffy feet. No, it's poop pellets, pee stains, and cage rattling all. night. long.Rabbits as pets. I am against it. It's unnatural. In the grand scheme of God's design for nature, rabbits are prey not pets. The next time a rabbit is invited into my home it will be to adorn the … [Read more...]

Oh, masculinity, I weep for your demise…

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... Let me be perfectly clear; leggings are not mother flipping pants. Everybody needs to just stop. Now. They are not pants. They have never been nor will they ever be pants. Not pants. Not pants. No pantalones.Because this is what happens when allow leggings to be worn as pants...You have just had your eyes assaulted by something called meggings. What kind of man buys these things? Does he have some raiding to do in the forests of Nottingham or is he just looking for that … [Read more...]

Owning a Dog Makes You Crazy…

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... As you may have recalled, we got a dog right before Christmas. In that time I've discovered a very disturbing and embarrassing fact about myself. Dog ownership will make you lose your mind. Like forget how to speak proper English lose your mind. Because look at this face...Isn't dat da sweetest most kissable widdle puppy kiss face you've ever seen?!? Yes it is! Kissy widdle pup face. Who's momma's bestest boy? You are! Yes you are! … [Read more...]

Friday is Truly a Day of Penance…

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... Ask me what kind of day I've had. Go ahead. Ask.It started with a typical work conversation. Because, the general public...Me: What's your phone numberDude: blah blah blah numbers numbers numbersMe: Is that a mobile number?Dude: No, it's a cell.Then against my better judgement I allowed my Sadistic Marathon Runner friend to talk me out my typical Friday liquid lunch at the margarita bar. She had a better suggestion. Let's take the fat girl to the gym. It'll be … [Read more...]

Getting All Christmas Rant-y Up in this piece…

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Mary's pregnancy was not unplanned, m'kay.It was perfectly planned by God. To say that Mary's pregnancy was unplanned implies an accident of chance and diminishes Her powerful "yes" to God's will. The fact that she willingly accepted to become the Mother of God shows us that the Incarnation was not a mere unplanned event. God sought Mary's permission and she obediently accepted. There was nothing unplanned about this miraculous event at all. Capisce?And all this bosh about the Holy … [Read more...]

A little Friday humor…

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What? … [Read more...]

Go home pop culture, you’re drunk…

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Because my son loves this stupid song ad infinitum to ad nauseum, I was forced to watch this spectacle on TV. As we both sat their, mouths gaping, the only words I could muster were, "Say no to drugs, son. Just say no." … [Read more...]


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