Tune in Sunday at 9pm EST to hear me discuss love, sex, and being single…

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... Dan Sealana has invited me to be a call in guest on his show, The Mess, to discuss this post. We're going to see how many times I can say "whore" and "bat shit crazy". … [Read more...]

Yeah, That Got Tiresome Real Quick — where I just give up and let them think I worship Satan…

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... Man, I love Halloween. I love everything about it. I pity the poor child whose parents keep them from participating in the revelry. Living in the Bible belt, you're bound to run into them -- the "we don't do Halloween" types. Bless their hearts. More candy for me. Every year about this time, I would undertake the great Halloween Crusade explaining and explaining again that Halloween ≠ Devil Worship. This year, I gave all that up ... as evident from this recent phone call. Typical … [Read more...]

Gone Till Tuesday…

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... Oh my gosh, y'all! I'm leaving tomorrow morning for Seattle to have my first real speaking engagement. I mean, I speak all the time, but this time someone will actually be listening. I know! If all goes well, maybe this will open the door for me to have future speaking gigs. I wonder who you gotta know to get booked to speak at the L.A. Religious Education Conference. Can't you just picture it? You're a heretic! You're a heretic! You're going to hell! So are you! Everybody is going to … [Read more...]

You Can’t Spell Halloween Without “Whore”…

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So this is a real Halloween costume. So help me, Baby Jesus, if I see any girls wearing a twerk costume this Halloween I will douse them with holy water and then smack their parents with a Bible. … [Read more...]

Now it’s time to play, “Is It A Nun, Nazgûl, or John Kerry?” …

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... Naturally it's a drinking game. However, you don't need beer goggles to mistake this photo of John Kerry, wearing a traditional Balinese “endek”, for one of those habit-less rogue nuns. It's an easy enough mistake to make. Just look at it... Speaking of habit-less rogue nuns ... when you get an endorsement from Nancy Pelosi, you might be doing Catholicism wrong. In case you can't tell, the one with the lapel pin is the nun. The other one is a Nazgûl. Bottoms up! … [Read more...]

There’s No Mercy In Baseball …

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... Ah, fall baseball. Another season of ruthlessly embarrassing my son from the stands. Let's just say I am not a quiet observer of sports. Yes, I just yelled at my kid to knock your kid outta the way. What? At least I'm watching the game and being supportive and junk. You know this would never happen if they just served beer at the Little League ball park like I suggested. I'm a mellow drunk. … [Read more...]

Liturgical Dance Isn’t So Bad…

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... In fact, I kinda like this. What? It's Friday. Lighten up. … [Read more...]

Crazy Crescat Poorly Illustrated…

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... It's been exactly one week since I've seen the movie The Conjuring. And I still can't sleep without the light on. What? I have an over active imagination. So anyway, I've been sleeping with a lamp on in my room. But the light was too bright. To solve this I covered the lamp shade with a pretty scarf. How bohemian. But last night I decided this bit of silliness must stop. I'm a grown woman for goodness sake. So I finally slept with the light off. Only I forgot to remove … [Read more...]

Crazy Is An Understatement…

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... This post is going to be all over the place, kind of like my day has been. Plus it's Friday. My apologies. Here's a little secret. I'm not the best, most pious Catholic in the world; I only play one of the internet. So I was reading that the USCCB decided to make today a day of prayer and fasting to end porn. And I immediately thought, well shit, the Pope wants us to fast tomorrow. Fast for two days?! I'd die! I'll waste away and die! Next thing you know I'll be advocating for … [Read more...]


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