Oh my gosh, I almost forgot my birthday…

... and that I'm getting old. So I threw myself a party. Just a small thing, with a few of my dearest friends. We had a wicked awesome time. … [Read more...]

The Vatican’s “Gay Lobby”…

... What a hullabaloo! I believe the issue is little more than a matter of translation, dahlink. Nothing to get worked up about.Vatican's gay lobby...VATICAN–Being interviewed via Skype hours ago, Spokesman for the Vatican Press Office Monsignor Bernard Hopkins clarified recent remarks made to a Latin American Church group by Pope Francis admitting the existence of a ”gay lobby” in the Vatican. ”It is true what the Holy Father said about there being a gay lobby in the Vatican, but it … [Read more...]

Is It Friday Yet…

... I certainly hope the conversation I just had first thing this morning isn't indicative of how the rest of the day will be. Warning: When my patience is tried, I say "shit" a lot.ME: Why hello. Yes, that property you are calling about is still for rent. Why yes, the rent is $425 a month.PERSON: Is it nice? I hate it when people rent houses that aren't nice or something they wouldn't live in themselves. Is the kitchen updated & appliances new?ME: We have photos available on our … [Read more...]

White Men Dancing…

... Because it's Friday.Tom JonesAnd an awesomely spastic young man that looks like Joseph Gordon-Levitt … [Read more...]

Pinished Failures…

... What does the term "pinished" mean? It refers to finished Pinterest projects.You know... when you see something cutesy on Pinterest and think "Oooo. I can totally make that!" Only you can't. You never can. No one can. It's all an illusion. A horrible lie to make you feel miserably inadequate. Like those skinny models in health magazines or those homeschooling blogs that make you feel suck-y about your Puerto Rican ass and parenting skills.Now that you know what Pinterest is and … [Read more...]

I Pity The Fool That Doesn’t Love His Momma…

... I can't tell if it's the wine or the fact that it's after midnight or a combination of the two... but it's Mr. T.Mr. T rapping. … [Read more...]

Kentucky Woman “Ordained” As Priest…

... Ordained, in quotes. Just calling yourself something doesn't make it so. You can call me "Your Majesty" all you want but it won't make me Queen of the Internet. Without wasting more mental energy than this story deserves, I'll just point out the sad obvious fact that this is really about obedience and humility and Rosemarie Smead's lack of it. … [Read more...]

If I were going to sneak into the Vatican I’d use phony press credentials and look fabulous while doing it…

... Oh my. Did you hear the one about the fake Bishop who tried to sneak into the meeting of the Cardinals? What gave him away... his shabby appearance.Maybe if he made a stop by Gammarelli first he could have pulled off this little stunt. Thanks to the the keen eye of the Swiss Guard; who noted the too short cassock & crucifix chain, purple scarf, and rumpled robes, his attempts were thwarted. Everyone knows Catholics have style and swagger. You don't just show up to the Vatican in a … [Read more...]

Oh No, I Am Not Getting Eaten By Zombies Tonight…

... Now don't get me wrong. I love God's creation - the outdoors. It's an endless source of wonder and beauty... and imminent DEATH! I like my nature from the comfort of a rocking chair on a screened in porch. I also like my nature to go to bed when I do; not prowling around in the shadowy dark making bone chilling shrieks and howls. I might even like nature a little more if it stopped trying to kill me when I am doing simply things like taking out the trash or pulling into my driveway.As … [Read more...]