Warning: I am about to say “shit” a lot…

... Do you have a dog? Do you let your canine companion shit in other peoples' yards? Then I hate you with the fires of a thousands blazing suns.I don't care if you pick up their poop with a baggy or not. Just stop it! It's gross and incredibly rude. You can never clean it up sufficiently enough to where it won't still get wedged into the cracks in the soles of my shoe. It leaves just enough fecal residue behind that you don't notice it right away till you've ground into the floor … [Read more...]

The Emotional Roller Coaster that is The Walking Dead…

... The internet is simply a buzz with talk of modesty, Beyonce, Mahony oh my. This post has absolutely nothing to do with either. You're welcome.***I don't care for football, the bastard sissy cousin of rugby, so when the super bowl comes around each year I'm desperate to watch anything on TV unrelated to the game. Enter the Walking Dead marathon.Some friends of mine are nuts over this show and claim it's absolutely terrifying. Naturally, given my pathological fear of dead things … [Read more...]

Wait. What…

... It appears my poodle, Terry, is all the latest rage for his kind words about Patheos. To which I say, whatever, he was my friend first. … [Read more...]

Where I take Far Too Much Delight In Responding To The Anti-Catholic Group, Abolish Human Abortion…

... Did you know I'm the embodiment of evil? Perhaps I get that from the "satanic religious system" in which I belong. But I find myself a bit too excited to respond to the discombobulated ramblings recently addressed at me by the loathsome anti-Catholic group, Abolish Human Abortion. I know. I'm a terrible terrible person for enjoying this, especially when they've made my rebuttal so effortless. But yes, yes I immensely enjoy any opportunity to defend my faith. Defending myself against claims … [Read more...]

Abolish Human Abortion, Crazy Jack Chick Scary Anti-Catholic…

... Well this is awkward. Here I was endorsing a pro-life organization only to find out they're staunchly anti-Catholic. Like Jack Chick anti-Catholic, only more cliche. I'm always amazed to learn the reasons some people give to hate the Catholic Church. They are always profoundly stupid. The reasons, not the people. Though if they weren't, wouldn't they be Catholic. But I digress.Yawn.Typical ignorance spouted by someone who knows absolutely nothing about the Church. Idolatry. … [Read more...]

Papal festivities coordinator or jobs I’d be perfect for…

... Is anyone else as bitterly disappointed as I was to learn that Ember Days doesn't actually involve fire? I was really jazzed about celebrating Ember Days too.The Church should just let me be in charge of traditions. … [Read more...]

How comment moderation works around here…

... What? You thought I was under some obligation to publish your comment?How precious. … [Read more...]

Fake Christmas Trees Unholy…

... I'm on a superiority complex high right now having ventured out into the wilderness and chopped down my own Christmas tree. Can you believe it; I used a hand saw and no one bled to death. Then I lifted the tree over my head in triumph and grunted loudly in satisfaction. I resisted the urge to "spike" the tree when we got to the car. It was very primal and quite impressive.I feel this experience gives me license to mock your fake plastic Christmas trees and pine scented candles as an … [Read more...]

I don’t always play well with others but at least I give it a try from time to time…

... If you live in or around Charlotte the Mormons are providing area North Carolinians with free entertainment, and you don't even have to join. I think.They have over 400 Nativity scenes from all over the world on display and nightly musical performances. Sounds nice. Hopefully it doesn't have a hidden agenda.I've always been afraid of things like this. Call me religiously intolerant or whatever the phobia name is for people who dislike people from differing religions, but … [Read more...]