I am a horrible, horrible parent…

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... In case you weren't aware, I loathe television. I especially loathe the T.M.I. commercials for things like erectile dysfunction medication and feminine hygiene products. It's because of the latter I may have inadvertently told my son women lay eggs. I just got so flustered. What do you say when your nine year old son asks what tampons are?I tried to handle his question with maturity, but yeah. Who are we kidding here?The Boy: Mom, what are tampons for?The Mom: Well... … [Read more...]

Whoever said the country is peaceful and quiet lied…

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... The animals are acting crazy. I think they sense an imbalance in the force. The dark side is growing in strength. Oh, wait. That was probably racist.Anyway, the coyotes are getting braver. They howled and yipped all night in my back yard. Talk about creepy. And it would appear I have a lady bug infestation. And this morning a raccoon tried to throw itself in front of my riding lawnmower. And I bird flew into my kitchen window. Just a few days ago I deer tried to kill me while I took out … [Read more...]

Did Someone Say “Game of Thrones”…

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... No? Well, too bad. My blog.So I just finished reading a Clash of Kings, book 2 in the series, and I was all hyped to sit down and watch Season 2. I got out my television series watching provisions - wine and chocolate - and readied myself for a Game of Thrones marathon.But noooooooooooooo. Is it showing on Netflix? Nope. Hulu? Nada. Amazon? Not there. How about iTunes. Nothing. Not even on HBO unless you're a subscriber. Bastards!Clearly I am forced to pirate the series … [Read more...]

Where I Become Completely Unhinged…

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... What is it about "rent is due on the first of each month and late after the fifth" that is so damn hard to understand?! If it's November 6th, guess what, your rent is late and you pay a late fee.Every month it's the same thing, and the same people. They come strolling in the day after the fifth and act all surprised and indignant when I tell them they need to pay a late fee. They even have the gall to argue with me about it. They pout, swear, and call me names - like mean-y rent lady. … [Read more...]

Shameless beggars and candy opportunists…

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... What has happened to my beloved Halloween?! Who are these entitled beggars shuffling up to the door? Kids don't even try anymore. And young ladies, there are plenty of things you can be for Halloween besides naked.Your amateurism has forced me to lay down some guidelines for next year.1- putting random shit on your head does not a costume make. If you are wearing street clothes and a mask you will not get a single piece of candy from me.2 - If you can legally drive a car … [Read more...]

Leggings Are Not Pants …

Olivia Wilde seen here out shopping in Venice, CA,

... and in case I wasn't clear; leggings are not pants. No, they are not. Not pants. No pantalones. If you think they are, you might be an attention whore.NOT PANTS!Also, a shirt dress is not a dress. It has the word "shirt" in it which means it's not a real dress. Allow me reiterate for the sake of clarity.Shirt Dress ≠ Dress.This is commonly referred to as being out in public half naked. And yes, you still might be an attention whore. … [Read more...]

OK, this is the last you’ll see of the Borja Jesus. I promise…

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... because really, you can't possibly top this.Catholic Memes … [Read more...]

The Confessional Nature of Blogging …

... I watched Here Comes Honey Boo Boo on TLC last night.That is all. … [Read more...]

In case you were dying to know how the LCWR went…

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... It was a smash hit.Photo source: "Barbara Marx Hubbard smiled as women religious welcomed her to the stage with a dance." … [Read more...]


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