I Hate Corn…

skert

... Specifically, I hate corn fields.I've talked about my Mirkwood, those tangled dark woods that menacingly exist at the edge of my land and where even the dog is afraid to venture in too deeply.I've talked about the insane wildlife that prowls the grounds under the cover of night -- The Chupracabras, the coyotes, the demonic deer, disgusting bugs, and tormenting birds that chirp and screech all night. And the toads. When it rains it's the plague of frogs.Now I have a new menace … [Read more...]

Neurosis Inspired Home Improvement …

431px-Mirkwood_-_entrance

... I have this hideous chicken wire fence at the back of my property. It's all that protects me from the horrors that hide in the deep recesses of the Kudzu tangled woods that surround my house. We call this area Mirkwood. We do not venture in there. Ever. It's where It lives.This chicken wire fence causes me much distress. It's unsightly and ruins the view out the kitchen window. I've thought about tearing it down and putting up a privacy fence but truth be told, as terrifying as … [Read more...]

Country Crescat …

opossum

... Things I've seen in my back yard; rabbits, deer, skunks, chupacabra or possibly a bear, coyotes, raccoon, snakes, and a confused, inebriated redneck who wandered onto my property. It only stands to reason that my cat would befriend an opossum and my son would subsequently name it Potemius Crouch and feed it table scraps.I feel like I'm one jug of moon shine away from this ... … [Read more...]

I’m like the Grim Reaper of Vegetation…

2492681686_cd70a16b78

... My gardening skills are simply astonishing. The list of stuff I kill continues to grow. Today I have the honor of adding four varieties of tomatoes to the official list of sh*t I kill. Roma, Beefsteak, Cherry, and Yellow Pear tomatoes, requiscat in pace. You never stood a chance.This is commonly known as end rot. It can be caused by un-evening watery which means not watering on a flat surface and lack of calcium in the soil or something. Whatever. They are dead now and have been … [Read more...]

How to kill your garden – a step by step guide…

I grew food

... I grew food.And then, true to form, I utterly ruined it.Things I have learned thus far...1- If you leave lettuce in the ground too long it turns bitter 2- Spinach too 3- For being so small, caterpillars have more stomachs than a cow and eat non-stop 4- If the soil is dry it's too late. There is already root damage 5- If the soil is too wet it's too late. You've killed it. Yes, you can drown a plant. 6- vegetables do NOT come out of the ground looking like they do on … [Read more...]

obligatory chicken post…

tony soprano of chirckens

... This is Albert. He is the Tony Soprano of chickens. Albert wants you to share with me all your online resources for chicken husbandry. So far I got My Pet Chicken and this link with homemade coops. He is not pleased with my progress. … [Read more...]

nature is noisy y’all…

... Did you know there are birds that sing at night. All. Night. Long. They're called nightingales and these lovely little things like to perch in trees near bedroom windows while you write. Noisily chirping away. Did I mention they do this all night long? So here I sit, trying to devise the most effective way to shut him the hell up.I don't know how Fr. Z stands it. … [Read more...]

Bees and Vicious Chickens, Oh my…

vicious chicken what

... So now I am being in talked into getting bees.Let me re-cap the insanity.First there was the rabbit trapping venture where one neighbor used my land to lay traps in return for some stew, then it was the veggie swap, then chickens - which I am still totally doing- and next is beekeeping. The goat is still undecided.Oh, and if you read this and run into my son please do not let on those rabbits were eaten. We told him Mr. L was selling them to the pet store so parents could buy … [Read more...]

Obesity, poverty, $5 organic eggs, and the decision to be self sustaining …

... Food stamp recipients are forced to make some hard choices when it comes to their grocery purchases. Tasked with stretching a food allotment many purchase affordable processed foods; foods high in sodium , sugar and fat. Poor people in general, whether receiving food stamps or not, struggle with making their dollar go as far as humanly possible when it comes to putting food on the table. Families living in poverty stricken areas of urban cities are even farther worse off. Grocery stores in … [Read more...]


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