Just Call Me Domestic Diva…

Grumpy Cat

... I've taken up the classically feminine and domestic hobby of needle point. … [Read more...]

the tree I slew…

tree

... I love this tree. I really do. I love that it's perfectly imperfect. It has a real "tree taken from the side of the road" vibe going on. … [Read more...]

For my next trick I will attempt to boil water…

758956820_2700933892_0

Oh, the stupid things. This morning I apparently forgot how to use a toaster.And I made my first kill in the new Honda [photo unavailable]; a deranged squirrel who learned jumping out in front of my car is unwise. Recquiscat in pace, little guy. … [Read more...]

When you deny a little girl a dollhouse it usually manifests itself in extreme ways later in life…

This little girl has a dollhouse and she's happy so it's obviously not a picture of me.

... The tragedy of my youth. I never had a dollhouse. I couldn't understand it. It's not like I was asking for a pony; just a dollhouse. Not even a fancy dollhouse with all the ornate miniature antique furniture and real porcelain tea sets. Just a simple wooden dollhouse that I could decorate myself. And my mom never got me one. Not even the ugly hot pink plastic Barbie dream-house.What horrible mother denies their little girl a dollhouse?! I'll tell you who. Feminists mommies who … [Read more...]

Stupid Things – a Double Edition…

evil as hell

... Typically I do a single stupid thing on any given day. Today was exceptionally rare.This morning I went outside to take out the trash. It was still dark when I heard a loud crashing noise coming from the wooded area in the back yard. What the hell was that, I wondered out loud. I turned and was face to face with this...UNHOLY BEAST!And it made a noise, like a scream. Did you know deer scream and it sounds sort of human but in a creepy as shit inhuman way? And then it reared … [Read more...]

I’m sure someone thought this was lovely…

nicholas_cage

... but all I see is Nicolas Cage Madonna. … [Read more...]

Like the time I confused being a hermit with a pampered recluse…

Not a real nun.

... Do you ever sometimes wonder if you'd make a good nun because you look great in black, or because you're really tired of having to style your hair every day. … [Read more...]

Guess the lyrics without cheating…

... Can you guess the lyrcis to this Bob Dylan song without having to use Google?Meet Me in the Morning by Bob Dylan on Grooveshark***Does this make me old as hell? … [Read more...]

Stupid Things I Do On Any Given Day…

... Hit myself in the face with the phone receiver while answering the phone and giving myself a black eye. Happy stinkin' Monday.Telephones; creating a hazardous work environment since 1870. … [Read more...]


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