Advent Simplicity… with wine.


... I have long accepted the reality that I suck at Advent. In fact, I suck at most liturgically related crafts and projects. If it's going to require more than a glass of wine and a trip to confession, fuggedaboutit.I finally embraced this liturgical deficiency the year I almost burned down the house, not to be confused with the time I set the lawn on fire.See also - ideas on how not to set your Advent wreath of fire.Everyone loves a roaring Christmas fire.This year … [Read more...]

The Importance of Ignoring the Pope…


... I was waiting for just the right time, when Pope Francis gave another interview or said something grossly misinterpreted by the media, to post these comments. Guess what? I didn't have to wait long.Posted with permission:There are a few options in dealing with the pope and his strange methodology. I would suggest the logical possibility that has not yet been suggested.You can ignore him.As laymen we have very little power to do anything about his behaviour. And I agree … [Read more...]

From Johnny Rotten to Johnny Reverent in One Easy Step …


... Does your son fidget and act unruly during mass? Or does he get bored and sit there like a listless lump zoning out?Do you wish he'd be more attentive, prayerful, or respectful and listen to the homily for stinkin' once?!?Now you too can have a new improved, wonderfully well behaved son accompanying you to mass each week with Altar Boy 2.0*!Here's how it works in one easy step.Step 1 -- Make your son be an altar server.I don't care if he wails and kicks and says … [Read more...]

What Does The Pope Say….


Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding. Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding.There, I fixed the translation. … [Read more...]

Suggested Programming For EWTN …


... Speaking of not liking things we are supposed to like just because they are Catholic (like Popes), let's talk about EWTN. Sam Rocha hates EWTN. As do I. I adore Mother Angelica and the rosary. The televised mass is a delight. The rest of the programming; however, is a bit droll. It's too serious. Seriously Catholic. So Catholic. Overly serious.*Yawn*Catholics are a riot. We drink, we laugh, we have van loads of babies and every feast day is a mini party. Catholics are lovers of … [Read more...]

This Just In – Sex Has Consequences…


... Oh my goodness! Did you know sex causes babies!?! Shocking, I know.If you are having sex it's safe to assume that you might get pregnant, you know, with a baby. That is the result of having sex.Yes, yes, birth control blah blah blah. But really all that does is encourage risk taking behavior and well, more sex. Which causes babies. Because we all know the only thing that 100% prevents babies is to not have sex. It's not rocket science. Just basic biology and common sense. Sex = … [Read more...]

today’s post is brought to you by Lady Mary’s eyebrows…


... I have to get it all out of my system before I can properly proceed with blogging. If I don't, I'll simply die. So if you haven't seen the finale yet or even parts of Season 2 - look away now.Those eyebrows. My Goodness. Mary's eyebrows could act for her; she'd need no script. If it weren't for their wide range of expressions Season 2 might have been a total wash. I tuned in just to watch them twitch across her forehead episode after episode... it was hypnotic.Let's pray I … [Read more...]