So There Was This One Time I Was On A Diet…


... Then I ate an entire bag of Doritos for dinner. But I have a legitimate excuse. We'd been snowed in for three days and it was all that was left in the cabinets. That's a lie. I gave up that diet looooong before Christmas.Today my co-workers brought two dozen doughnuts to work to share. Last week it was a strawberry cream cake. It's their fault I'm fat. OK, that's another lie. While I was eating doughnuts for lunch this afternoon, I had this amazing idea. Doughnut flavored ice cream! I'm … [Read more...]

Diet Update: Week Four…


... Diet? What diet? Nobody diets on vacation.I'm convinced this why the seagulls in Seattle are as big as dogs. … [Read more...]

Diet Update: Week Three…


... I am amazed my efforts have lasted this long. So there's that. As for the rest. Eh. I know what I have to do and it's just a matter of getting motivated enough to do it. God, I hate exercise. Hell is a gym with wall to wall mirrors and hot yoga.To get me off my ass, I wrote of list of some things my weight prevents me from enjoying. This will by my motivation.1- sky diving 2- being confident enough to wear a bathing suit 4- go hiking with my son without wanting to lay down in … [Read more...]

Diet Update: Week Two…


... Eat all the gravy. Stab all the people.I'm so bored with it. I miss food. I just enjoy eating too much. Savory comfort foods. Spicy ethnic dishes in rich creams. Sweet tea and butter biscuits. I've traded all that I love for carrot sticks and cardboard seasoned with a side of sawdust.I've just never eaten like this before - solely for the sake of avoiding starvation and scurvy. I've taken something I enjoy and turned it into a tedious, loveless chore. I suppose this is how … [Read more...]

So Far So Good, My Journey To Getting Healthy – Week One …


... I'm almost at the end of my first week of the new diet. Which really isn't a diet, per se. It's more like a concerted effort to eat healthier. I must say I feel pretty fantastic. I mean I'm still fat and junk (it's only been five days) but my energy level is noticeably different. I stopped eating white bread, drinking soda, and eating fast food. Typically I'm no good to anyone after 3 pm, stalled on a carb crash. And you know what... diet food isn't that bad either. I suppose anything tastes … [Read more...]

Ask me how the diet’s going …


... It's only day three and I'm already fantasizing about food. Real food. So yeah. … [Read more...]