Laura Paskell-Brown is a very flawed human being who lives and works in New York. She is one of the ‘Young Leaders’ at Women of Spirit and Faith.

Two years ago when my life felt like it was going to hell in a handbag, when every day seemed to bring some new problem and every thought some terrible pain, I needed more than a new code of ethics or a mere philosophy to save me. No, when this kid hit bottom she needed a completely new way of life, a set of practices to reshape the mind and the steady ebb and flow of each moment. Even today, when my life is so much better, I need not only the practices that take me to Divine bliss, but also tools to use when my emotions are in turmoil and I feel like smacking somebody.

One daily ritual that helps me with this are the inventories I do with myself. These check-ins are a series of questions I ask myself in order to uncover the real source of my discomfort.  It turns out that whenever I want to blame another person, to verbally admonish them or to cause them some physical pain, the real cause is my own selfishness, dishonesty, inconsideration or my (eternally present) desire to get my own way.  “But she’s such a sweet girl”, I hear you say. “How could this be?” Let me give an example: my dishonesty.  I used to lie so frequently one could have considered it a daily (perhaps hourly) ritual.  Rather than connecting me however, it was a practice that separated me from others because it led me to fear them (would they find out I lied?), as well as to all kinds of resentments on my part.

You mean I resented the people I lied to?!? You betcha I did.

Imagine you were a man and I lied to you about who I was in order to make you fall in love with me (suuuuuuure, I looooove baseball, it’s my faaaaaaavourite thing!) and you did in fact fall in love with me. Now fast-forward two years. We’re living together and you want us to watch baseball on TV for the hundredth time in a row.  And I’m pissed.  How COULD you subject me to another afternoon of this crap?  So I’m indulging in another ritual I used to love: self-pity. You’re perplexed, and you say “But I thought you liked baseball”, which you have every right to think, because I told you that I did. But don’t you see? I only told you that to get my own way. And now I want my own way again, so it would be really great if you could disregard that lie, without me ever actually having to say that I lied, because another practice of mine was always being in the right.  Got it? Good.

Such practices do not a happy relationship make, and I finally realised that if I wanted to stay in contact with my Divine Feminine (not to mention my fellow man), I needed to start doing it differently.  So it is that every day (sometimes several times a day) I ask myself “Have I been dishonest?” and if the answer is “yes” then I’m going to tell you I lied and apologise.  It’s a simple practice that helps me to avoid the complex mess that used to be my life.  I also ask myself “Have I been resentful? Selfish? Afraid?” and I can address those issues too when they come up.

So today, if anyone were to ask me on a date to a baseball game, I am still free to accept, as long as I make it clear that I like to watch baseball about as often as I go for a check-up at the dentist. Some rituals just aren’t healthy for me when performed more frequently than that. After all, my Divine Femme prefers figure skating. Ahem, sorry, that was a lie.

Alisa Blanchard, BA is life in motion

During the last few years I have begun honoring my moon time by creating or learning something new each cycle. This allows me time to really listen or reflect on my inner wisdom and to manifest my dreams. I believe the sacred flow of my blood opens me in new ways to my goddess; the Divine Feminine within my being.

This is also a great time to connect with my daughter and enter into a ceremony if we wish; imagine me with a 3 year old painting and exploring mixed media by candle light and music. Or sometimes if we really are feeling the energy of the month we will take my “moon juice” and gift it back to the earth with a blessing.

My primary ritual for connecting with the divine is to find ways to bring myself into circle with other women, where I begin to look deep into the waves of womanhood. Circles within circles exist, but my home base takes place in a Red Tent Temple, which I helped to bring to my community. (As part of the formation of Gathered Resources of Women: GROW Inc, we believed it was imperative for all women of the community to have a place where they felt supported, before we could start to change the culture of maternal in our region.)

There is something magical in sitting within a circle of women and seeing the goddess in her face, hearing the goddess in her voice, tasting her in my tears, feeling her in my laughter. Surrounded in this way I see a mirror being held up for me as an invitation to journey into my own divine self.

What a blessing to be in a space where you don’t even need to tell your whole story, since often before that talking object arrives in your hand, your story has already been told by the women before you. Amidst the ebb and flow of life, this reminds us that we are all in the rip currents, together.

Circle also helps to remind me during the tougher times, even the small steps are steps. There are moments in my life when these small steps become my ritual; to some it might seem like it could not possibly be a ritual. My small steps often look something like: humming while I brush my teeth, singing (mostly in the shower), moving my body and prayer.

For myself such little ways bring me to the diving light illuminated within, on days when I am faced with the various waves and challenges of existence. These simple actions help me to celebrate my choice to wake up and be in this world. In celebrating my life each day I call on myself to honor the great goddess within. And when my goddess is honored, she is able to love and honor the goddess within you.

Photo By: Alisa Blanchard

Kay Lindahl is an interfaith activist, speaker and retreat leader, author of “The Sacred Art of Listening”

It took me a long time to recognize the Divine Feminine.  I grew up in the 40’s, a member of a mainline protestant denomination, and was used to all the masculine pronouns and expressions of God. I didn’t necessarily feel excluded or included – that was just the way it was.  However, I also sensed a deep calling to be in communion with God.  At one point I thought I wanted to become a minister – but that was out of the question in my denomination at that time. So then, in my 14 year old way, I thought I should attend a seminary where I would meet my future husband who would be a minister.  That was not meant to be and I went on to become a registered nurse – seeking my connection with God in my work.

Fast forward a few years to the 60’s and I am the mother of five children, busily engaged in being a stay at home mom, not paying much attention to what was going on in the sex, drugs and rock ‘n  roll culture of the hippie generation.  I couldn’t relate to the “Feminine Mystique” and was happy enough making it through each day, always looking forward to time at church on Sundays.

Once my kids were all in school I began to search for what was next for me.  Somehow I knew it was a spiritual journey, although that was not a term commonly used in my community.  We started talking about using inclusive language at our church services – and I finally got the connection with the Divine Feminine.  It was as though this connection had been ‘a missing’ for me. I became aware of the whole world of women’s issues and have been exploring that sensitivity ever since.

One of the practices I have that keeps me connected to the Divine Feminine occurs during church services. My church is liturgical and credal, meaning we have a certain ritual to our services. Every time we use the word Holy Spirit I substitute the word She for the pronouns that follow it. A small thing, but it presences Sophia and wisdom for me.  Many of our prayers refer to God as a He or Lord.  In these instances I just substitute the word Creator or use God instead of He.  It’s my way of reminding me of the feminine aspect of the Divine.

I love being outside, and feel a strong bond with nature, which occurs to me as an expression of the Divine Feminine. So whenever I am in the presence of a beautiful sunrise, walking in the rain, any beautiful landscape, the ocean, mountains, trees, – and on and on – I choose that moment to connect with the Divine Feminine. Now that I think about it, almost all my senses do that for me – She is the sensual aspect of my nature.

Finally, being with other women is a powerful way to presence the Divine Feminine. I love being in circle with women of all ages and stages in life. It is a sacred experience and nurtures my soul.