Divine Feminine……hmmmmmm, ahhhhh, oooooooohhh…..I thought, and thought. Walked from room to room in the house, took a brisk stroll outside in sub freezing weather, listened to vid clips on the Alchemy site, emoted through gallons of tears, meditated, and still no clear erudite response. Listen, Listen, Listen, I chanted.
I wanted to talk to all the women who spoke so eloquently of their journey. How could they possibly know how I felt. All of them had my thoughts in their heads….and hearts. I jotted down a three page list of the words they breathed life into, and my bewilderment deepened. I wanted to be all of them. Wait! Wait a minute………PAUSE! BIG AHHH HAH MOMENT! I AM all of them. And a light bulb appeared.
I spend more time that I am willing to admit in that left logical brain space. In that quadrangle there must be answers. AhhHah!
There’s the culprit….answers. I need answers. So, I figure what’s the “answer” [see how skillfully I snuck that in] to the query about the Divine Feminine? Thoughtful Pause….and deference to a wiser mind than mine:
“….be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms, and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything! Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer.” RainerMaria Rilke
I intend living every day authentically alive to every sound, sight, taste, touch, smell, and beyond. Living, really living, every present moment- now. Speaking gratitude of every gift in my life. Allowing my natural curiosity free rein. Yearning to dialogue of the promise that rests within me, when only I know what that means….but you still listen!
I realize that today I have been given the greatest gift of life and that is choice. I can choose how I will respond to the change that is swirling around me…internally and externally. Whether the embryo of me will germinate and burst forth a magnificent, exquisite flower; or not?
That who I am may be beyond thought, above imagination, outside time, and, a mystical channel of the Divine.
I get to choose the life I will live this day. And, my heart longs for the peace that surpasseth all understanding.
Lolly Odea Polvinale is a writer/editor, and a massage therapist; both for over 20 years. She has spent the last number of years creating and presenting seminars and “playshops” for Stress Management, Energetic Body Healing, Breathwork, Spirit and Creativity, Croning, StoryTelling and Labyrinth Design and Building.