Why I detest evangelists

Why I detest evangelists January 28, 2009

BARMPOT Bob Hutton, the homophobic evangelist from Broadstairs in Kent whose appearance on this blog has manifested itself like a virulent form of herpes over the past few weeks, got me thinking about several personal encounters I have had with Bible-pests over the years.
Evangelist
I decided to share these with you following a fresh flurry of fatuous comments from Hutton, and after reading Naumadd’s thoughtful but misguided comment left under the Attenborough piece posted yesterday.
Said Naumadd:

In one way or another, these persons are dysfunctional from mildly to severely and often requiring professional treatments. I can’t bring myself to hate them when I realize they are human life that has somehow gone horribly wrong and in need of sympathy and help if I can give it.

Alas, I don’t share his magnanimity – and have an evangelist called Campbell to thank for my zero tolerance.
Campbell was a bank clerk in a small town in South Africa. My first job on leaving college, aged 17, was at this bank, where the florid-faced, chain-smoking manager, a Mr Hutchinson, told me at my induction to be very wary of Campbell as he was “a wee bit ga-ga”.
“In what way?” I asked. Hutchison replied:

In the very worst way. He is a religious maniac. Don’t let him ever hear you blaspheme, or he’ll react like Vesuvius.

I was then introduced to Campbell, a pasty-faced, bespectacled little man in his 30s with a lame handshake whose first words to me after our introduction were:
“Have you found Jesus?” “No”, I replied, “Where did you lose him?”
Bad retort. The look that sprang into Campbell’s eyes was little short of murderous, and I knew instantly that I’d made an enemy.

A few weeks later I was in the bank vault, doing some filing. The filing drawers were located at floor level below a huge steel wall safe, so I had to squat on my haunches to do the job. I heard someone come into the vault, and open the safe door. It was Campbell, who hissed: “Move out of my way!” At the same time he applied a boot to my butt. I reacted angrily by leaping to my feet – but didn’t get far. I hit the back of my head on the open safe door, and pitched flat on my face.
“Jesus FUCKING Christ,” I yelled as I lay losing blood on the concrete floor. That’s when Campbell, as predicted, “went Vesuvius” and began kicking me in the ribs, all the while yelling gibberish. (I was later to learn that this was called “speaking in tongues”. Or, in this case, screaming in tongues.

Campbell was hauled off of me by other staff members. I would cheerfully have punched his lights out, but I was blinded by the blood that had run into my eyes. I was sent to hospital to have 12 stitches put in my head. Two ribs were broken in the assault. I quit on the spot when I was told that no action was to be taken against this madman, as it was felt that I had provoked the attack.
I learned afterwards that he had left the bank to become a full-time missionary in a darker part of Africa – regrettably not one where missionaries were routinely popped into a pot.
Some years later, in the early 70s, a very close friend who was a highly-paid executive in a record company, fell into the hands of an evangelical group called the Children of God, to whom he signed over all his cash, as well as his home.
I then spotted him on the streets of Johannesburg, evangelising and railing against homosexuality. This was disturbing, as Tony himself was gay.
When he saw me he began yelling “burn in hell, you vile sinner.” I looked deeply into his eyes, and saw only madness. A few weeks later he committed suicide.
My third encounter with an evangelist was in a park in London. It was a beautiful spring day in Lincoln’s Inn fields, and I had just sat down on a bench to read a book, and tuck into a cream cheese and anchovy sarnie when this nutter stopped in front of me. He had a Bible in one hand, and a small stepladder under one arm.
He set up the ladder, climbed to the top and started preaching at me. “Fuck off,” I said politely. He stopped in mid-flow, closed the Bible, got off the ladder, and asked me to repeat what I had said. So I did.
“You can’t say things like that when I am on my ladder,” he protested, and explained that when he was on the top rung he was “God’s appointed messenger on earth” and any insults I uttered would go straight to God’s ears.

Well, you’re off you ladder now, so fuck off.

Why?
Because I am an atheist, and you, buddy, are an annoying, delusional pest who’s wrecking my lunch break.
Are you 100 percent certain that you are an atheist?
YES!

“Good, God loves 100 percenters ,” he cryptically declared, walked off,  and set his ladder up in front of another bench, where a fellow Londoner was trying to have a read and a bite in peace. This man got up and threatened to swat him with a rolled-up Evening Standard, and he beat a hasty retreat.
Encounter No 4 occurred  outside a hospital in Paddington during the Thatcher era. A band of nurses had formed a picket outside the hospital during a pay dispute, and a creepshow of an evangelist in a black bowler hat and an undertaker’s suit turned up to berate them.
When I arrived, he was brandishing a Bible, and yelling abuse. “Jezebels!” he screamed. “The Devil’s own harlots! Get back to work, you godless heathens!”  Spit was flying off his lips and into the nurses’ faces.

I was carrying a camera, and homed in on this raving Johnny Cash look-alike to record the expression of pure hate on his face. He turned on me, and tried to bat the camera out of my hand with his over-sized Bible. I reacted by seizing the thing, and threw it into the road, where it was run over by a Routemaster bus.
A huge cheer went up from the nurses when his Bible got creamed, followed by an even louder one when I told the creep to get the fuck away from the picket line. Which he did. He spun away, dashed into the traffic to retrieve the remnants of his “good book”, then vanished into the crowd, looking fearfully over his shoulder.
I am so glad he legged it, because by then I was so enraged I could happily have tossed him into the path of a double-decker.
My fifth encounter was with a young journalist who joined the team at a publishing firm where I worked in the 90’s. He seemed OK til I spotted him leaving copies of a fundie newspaper on colleagues’ desks. I gathered them all up, tore them to shreds and spread the confetti all over his desk. Together with a copy of the Freethinker.
Next up, I was summoned to the MD’s office where I was told that a complaint of “bullying” had been made against me by the pious prick. The MD held a dead stern expression for maybe ten seconds before she burst out laughing.
Within hours the little shit was history. He walked out, never to return.
I believe that Naumadd’s suggestion that people like these are “disabled”demeans those who suffer a genuine disability. Religious zealots may be victims of a vile belief system, but my experience is that they are willing victims – hate-harbouring inadequates who have sadly been given license by society to take their rantings to the streets solely because their irrational, juvenile behaviour has a religious foundation.
Without their Bibles and their crackpot beliefs, these people would be simply classified as common-or-garden crazies and be taken away in strait-jackets for treatment.
 

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Bob

    Oh Barry, you are so funny (except for the naughty words which, of course, you need to repent of). I wouldn’t agree with shouting abuse at people and my evangelism is very mild compared to the “examples” you gave. I hold out leaflets in the street and gently invite people to take them. I don’t call out after those who refuse.
    However, I do leave leaflets in various places. EG in bookshops there is normally a section on the afterlife, astrology etc. I generally put a “Life after death” leaflet (we call them tracts) in one or two of the books. Other places would be cornflake boxes (they get a free gift with their breakfasts!), magazines, refill A4 writing pads in stationers,on buses and trains (only one per journey!). I once got chucked out of a train station by an evil man for leaving one or two (?) in the ticket office area. I told the man he was doing the Devil’s work and that God would judge him.
    I pray for you, Barry, that God would be pleased to open your eyes and convert you. Oh, and by the way, look out for the opening words of Psalm 14 v 1 on London buses soon. The Trinitarian Bible Society have set aside 35 grand to place these.
    That’s all for the moment,
    Kind regards,
    Bob (I reckon you like reading my posts really!)

  • Shargraves

    Hmm – I can see where you are coming from! ha ha
    I did help out in a born-again christian charity shop – apart from them being full of shit, and incredibly thick, they were OK. And amazingly didn’t try and foist any BS on me.
    My only other encounter with fundies has been a toothless prat on a railway station who kept trying to talk to me about god – to the point where I missed my train (they were every 15mins so I wasn’t too arsed) but I refused his literature politely at first then – after it looked like he was going to touch my arm to stop me getting the next train – with threats of violence to him.
    I do feel a bit of pity for them – that is until they start obfuscating human rights and spouting their awful homophobic anti-human, uneducated agendas… as they invariably do when encountered online…. And I guess I encounter that daily.
    Now I come to think of it; I’m sick to the back teeth of them….

  • Ziggy

    Didn’t know you’re a relocated original SAn. I’m still in this religion-mad country (must be “for my ‘sins'”).

  • remigius

    Bob. Are you seriously suggesting it’s OK to tamper with someone’s crunchy breakfast comestibles?
    You really are a fucking menace.

  • Bob

    Remmy: The Cornflakes are in a sealed packet; I place the leaflet just inside the box but it won’t touch the flakes themselves as they are sealed inside the box. The person who opens the box is likely to find the leaflet just before opening the sealed packet. If, as a result of reading the leaflet they get saved, then they will be grateful for all eternity that someone cared for them enough to tell them about Jesus and how they could be saved from Hell.

  • remigius

    Er yeah right, Bob. Whatever.
    Just what I need when I’m eating.

  • valdemar

    Whatever happened to the once-valid diagnosis of religious mania? Did the psychiatric profession become afraid that they’d get fatwahs slapped on them, as many Muslims would be classed as mentally ill, according to this old-fashioned definition?

  • Bob

    remmy: if you like I’ll do wheetabix boxes instead, that way you won’t get caught!

  • remigius

    There’s no ‘h’ in Weetabix – you goon.
    But there is one in Jesus H Christ!

  • Barry Duke

    Ziggy, Yep, I’m an ex-South African who incurred the wrath of the apartheid establishment for, among other things, mercilessly taking the piss out of the Dutch Reformed Church (or Much Deformed Church, as I prefer). I eventually had to flee, and wound up as a refugee in the UK in 1973.
    Remigius, if I found a biblical tract in anything bought from a supermarket (or anywhere else) I would sue their arses off – that is, after demanding they open every package on every shelf to make sure that other products hadn’t been polluted with mind-destroying superstitious crap.

  • Bob

    Remmy: you must read my posts if you picked up on a spelling mistake!
    Barry: I like your sense of humour (much deformed church!). I have no sympathy with that group because they misused the Bible to justify apartheid.
    It’s not the supermarket’s fault if someone puts a tract in a cereal box. Would you sue W H Smith’s if you bought an A4 refill pad and found someone had put a tract in it? Or if you bought a book and someone had done the same? Would you make Smith’s go through every single book to make sure it was “clean”?

  • remigius

    Barry Duke. Talking of nutters in supermarkets, we’ve got the daddy of them all round our way. Big Afro/Caribbean fella, stripped to the waist, usually seen dragging a giant crucifix (at least eight foot!) down the Portobello Rd.
    I followed him into Tesco once, just out of curiosity, and asked him what he would have done had his saviour had died of dysentry. The twat completely ignored me.
    I haven’t seen him about for a while. Maybe he got better.

  • newspaniard

    Barry Duke: Bit OTT there, Sunshine. You’re letting the twat wind you up. I know, “GO TO THE NAUGHTY STEP NOW!”

  • TONY E

    In this day and age this tosser admits to tampering with packaging and he has the cheek to consider himself sane?
    Whilst I really hate violence, if I had found any nonsense in my foods, I really would not be responsible for my actions.

  • Bob

    One I forgot to tell you about: in a DVD store you can see that some DVDs have a sleeve on the outside around the main box. Sometimes I slide a tract inside the sleeve so that when the purchaser takes it home and slides out the DVD box to open it out pops the tract! Good one eh!

  • I’ve heard it all now- leaving leaflets in cornflakes. There’s only one cornflake around here. christ on a bike- I mean, I’m a long suffering Norwich supporter but I have so far resisted the temptation to leave ‘aren’t Norwich fucking great’ leaflets everywhere. I like to think folk – a) couldn’t give a toss, and b) have better things to do, so why can’t these barmy religious muppets do the same. They’re off their bloody heads the lot of’em.

  • Ed Haz

    Bob,
    A couple of issues with you putting your little ‘tracts’ into cereal boxes and books:
    1 To put them into cereal boxes one assumes you have to open the box itself. Unless you then buy that box of cereal, this could be damage to property, and if you were caught, you could face criminal charges, (highly unlikely but possible), or you might be sued by the shop who would be within their rights to do so. They might even seek an injunction from the court to prevent you from tampering with their property again, violation of which would lead to criminal proceedings for contempt of court.
    2 The manufacturers of the cereal could sue you for causing damage to their reputation. Imagine someone opens their weetabix and finds one of your ‘tracts’. They don’t like it being there and think that, as it is in the box, weetabix endorses the ‘tract’, and so they complain to weetabix. Weetabix might suffer damage to their reputation, and a subsequent financial loss. If they knew it was you doing this, they could sue you for and resulting damage they suffer.
    3 The above points apply to leaving things in a4 writing pads also.
    4 When it comes to books in bookshops, it could be either the author, publisher or bookshop who decides to sue you.
    Basically, if this is what you’re doing, be very careful. I’m frankly shocked that you haven’t been caught on a shops security camera yet.
    Alternatively, you could always just stop… what you are doing is invading peoples privacy at the end of the day, just like your pervy voyeur god.

  • Bob

    I don’t have to open the cereal box. At the top of the larger size ones is a slit where the top flap is stuck down. This slit is just open enough to slide a tract in, (or even a chick book). No damage occurs to the box.

  • remigius

    If I found some Jack Chick shit lit in my box of Golden Graham’s I’d look for the nearest jesus-junkie and shove it right up his arse!

  • Martin

    I must admit to being as childish as Bob the Knob on occasions.
    Whenever I stay in hotels I write a message in the inside cover of the nonsense book there referring readers to the Jesus myth websites.
    It’s time I grew up and just threw them in the bin instead.

  • newspaniard

    Guys! Guys! Guys! You’re letting Twat Head wind you up. You’re not supposed to do that. He is in Coventry, after all.

  • Tim

    Why can’t these loathsome fundies just live and let live, and leave people alone?
    If someone wants to find out about religion, or wants to embrace their imaginary friend, I have no problem with that. Just so long as they don’t expect the rest of us to join that delusion.
    Leave alone us to make up our own minds.

  • Wurble

    I doubt whether anyone is really getting wound up by Bob. He seems quite tame in the great scheme of things and besides, Ive been preached to by bigger asshole’s than him.

  • masked grappler

    Bob,
    Tell you what, I’ll become a christian if you post pictures of yourself noshing off a muslim man.

  • Bob

    Martin: your comment about Bibles in Hotels reminds me of Ian McKellen, the gay actor. When he stays in Hotels and finds a Gideon Bible in the room he tears out the pages that speak against gay behaviour. If the Bible was just a book and nothing else why would he get so upset? – perhaps his conscience troubles him!
    Wurble: yes I am quite tame. I never force people to take my leaflets in the street and they can always throw away the ones they find in their cornflakes, or their DVD,…or their book from Smiths …or their A4 refill pad…etc etc

  • masked grappler

    Bob,
    You could always put leaflets in packets of condoms, you strike me as a condom-tamperer.
    Maybe one day you’ll fuck jesus, just like mary magdelene but just more obsessed with necrophillic anal penetration huh?

  • TONY E

    Bob, you prick, what you are doing is forcing your sad delusions onto others. You need a good slap.

  • Ed Haz

    Bob,
    I’d imagine that Ian McKellen rips those pages out because he knows that the bible IS more than just a book, he certainly wouldn’t I’d be prepared to wager, rip out similar passages which might occur in a book like Harry Potter. You clearly don’t see the difference, the bible is more than just a book, not for any theological reasons, but because idiots like you BELIEVE that it is more than just a book. Thus, an easily influenced person might read those passages and take homophobic action based on them, whereas they would not do so if the same verses were in Harry Potter, as everyone knows that’s fiction.
    Oh, and you’re welcome for the free legal advice by the way. I should have charged for that you know… talk about your ‘good samaritan’. I stress again, that by doing what you are doing you could potentially damage the reputations of organisations and individuals up the supply chain for those products you tamper with, and if you are caught, they can sue you for any damage attributed to your actions! Unless you have a debt-wish I’d stop immediately. Stick to the streets mate.

  • Polite ones get a polite brush off from me. The pushy ones get varying levels of snark. I have no use for people who are trying to force their delusions on me.
    And they have the audacity to claim gays “recruit”.

  • “Religious zealots may be victims of a vile belief system, but my experience is that they are willing victims – hate-harbouring inadequates who have sadly been given license by society to take their rantings to the streets solely because their irrational, juvenile behaviour has a religious foundation.”
    __________
    What you may be missing here is that their disability is, in fact, what makes them willing to fall into these intellectual traps. You seem willing to call them “inadequates” but I wonder why you might not be willing to translate “inadequates” as “disabled”? My belief is not that my use of the word “disability” goes too far but that the use of the word by others doesn’t go far enough. Surely, you do not think the behaviors of those you describe above are the behaviors of healthy individuals, do you? Lack of civility is a sure sign of a dysfunction in one’s ability to adapt and improvise to one’s current environment. A social setting – even if that setting is only the presence of one other human being – is one’s current environment. If you find yourself unable to agree with their point of view, the healthy thing to do is to, of course, maintain your intellectual position but to remain civil in your disagreement. That is the balanced and healthy attitude to maintain. Clearly, these religious extremists are unwilling and/or unable – I consider these terms “unwilling” and “unable” as synonyms in this case – to maintain civility in at least some of the environments in which they find themselves. I call that dysfunction due to intellectual developmental delay for one reason or another and, in the least, intellectual disability no less significant than one who is blind or deaf or what have you. Surely, if one has functional sight and hearing or if one has functional hands, but one cannot use them effectively, is that not disability? Is it not also disability to have a brain and mind but an inability to use it effectively? Some disability can be remedied with education and cognitive therapy, some cannot. Nevertheless, the first is no less disability than the latter until such disability is resolved. Although you maintain the use of “disability” in this manner is demeaning to the “truly” disabled, I maintain that a reluctance to brand these intellectual dysfunctionals as “disabled” does harm to them by delaying the assistance they require to overcome or manage that disability. It also misleads others into thinking it is safe to relate to these persons when it is frequently and clearly not. It is imperative we not overly restrict our understanding the term “disabled” lest we exclude some who have the need of the benefits of that classification in the minds of others.
    But, of course, “disabled” requires we answer the questions of context. To say someone is “disabled” does not mean “fully dysfunctional” in all contexts. Certainly, one who is disabled in some contexts may give the appearance for all intents and purposes of a healthy individual in other contexts. I make no claim that these intellectual dysfunctionals are “disabled” in all contexts. That would be a rather irrational conclusion and an inappropriate use of the word “disabled”.
    The first step to resolution of a problem is recognition of that problem’s fullest truth. Religious extremists and the superstitious in general cannot be dealt with adequately by the more rational unless one first clearly identifies them for who and what they are – human lives that have not developed intellectually to a healthy-functioning stage in certain contexts – “healthy” being mental as well as physical and, in my view, there being no real distinction between the two in what is a very complex and dynamic holistic organism, a human being. Of course, when “disability” is dependent on context and considering the fact none of us are entirely functional one-hundred percent of the time, we all harbor disabilities of a sort. Happily, most of us are able to maintain some degree of civility with most of those we meet. There are, indeed, many who cannot. These I call “disabled” because their dysfunctions are specific and frequent and not often resolved before the end of their lives.

  • Bob, I see that your prayers are still failing. What a waste of time.
    Why don’t you just piss off back to Canterbury and bother people in the street where at least they can give you a well-deserved smack in the face if you get too uppity? I’m sure D and S will be worried for your soul, spending so much time on this disgusting godless Internet, with all the porn, swearing, and thinking (or otherwise generally not giving a flying fuck about your invisible book-based fetishised zombie [NSFW: don’t look, Bob, it’ll only make you cry or scream or whine or something else that you’re wont to do when something you don’t like appears within your narrow(-minded) gaze but I bet you will anyway just so that you can have something else to bitch about, but I did warn you anyway]) is just a couple of clicks away!
    Perhaps one of us should give them a ring at home and suggest to them that perhaps they should try to make sure you’re not doing dodgy godless things behind their backs, and they should keep an eye on you.
    Unless, of course, they support you in being the annoying delusional fucktard that you are, in which case I suspect they wouldn’t expect anything else.

  • newspaniard

    Naumadd: You forgot to mention that Bob is a TWAT!

  • Bob

    I also put leaflets through doors. I once wanted to go into an 18 storey block of flats in Margate to do this but there was an entry phone system, a porter by the door, and a big notice saying that trespassers would be prosecuted. However, I did notice that at the 1st floor level was a car park for residents and another door. I also noticed a small removal van and wondered if someone was moving and had propped open the door. I walked up the slope and, sure enough, the door was wide open! I walked in, took the lift to the top and started to put tracts through the flat doors (8 flats per floor). I progressed down to the 3rd floor and then got caught! A female resident said “oi, how did you get in?”. I replied that I just walked in. She said she would get the porter. Anyway, I decided to do the remaining floors before leaving the building (might as well get hanged for a sheep as a lamb!). I managed to finish the job and got away.

  • Bob

    Ed Haz: Thanks for the advice but I won’t be taking it. There are no boundaries for Gospel tracts, they can be placed anywhere.

  • Kev

    If you want a truly bonkers fundie go to a small town in Dumfries and galloway in Scotland called Moffat. A lovely little town with friendly folk…but go to see The Singing Potter at the top end of the town…woooo. He invited my family and I back into the rear of the shop to see his workshop, I am a potter so was interested. He then set about condemning us as sinners and demanding we shun Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and all other od the devils works. He came close to a smack inthe mouth that day.

  • Barry Duke

    Bob, if I was a damned litter lout I would not be boasting about it in a public forum. Who do you think actually reads the moronic crap contained in your tracts? I would say only a tiny minority of idiots.
    Whenever some anti-social fucktard hands out this shit in Brighton, where I live, the area is left a mess. I would have thought that you, of all people, would be aware of the phrase “cleanliness is next to godliness”.
    You also state “There are no boundaries for Gospel tracts, they can be placed anywhere”. Try dishing them out in a Muslim area! Your skinny white Christian arse would get a well-deserved kicking!

  • Rozi

    I have encountered many, but all most of them were sort-of self inflicted. As a teenager I went to a Catholic school, was a regular church attendent and, ugh, read the Bible. When I used to go to a Pentacostal church youth group, I asked my church leader if my dad, a good, kind, hardworking, upstanding and principalled gent who I utterly adore, would be left behind on Judgement day because he didn’t believe in God.
    She answered yes.
    I asked ‘Even though he’s a good man?’
    ‘Doesn’t matter if he doesn’t accept Jesus as his saviour.’
    I was a teenage, Christian creetin and I didn’t question this at the time, didn’t think to say ‘That’s bloody stupid, why would a supposedly loving God condemn his own creation to eternal torment, when all he has to do is make himself known, in an irrefutable way, and save my Dad? It’d hardly be a challenge for an almighty and omnipotent God surely?’
    Then they told me my Terry Pratchett books, my pokemon obession and my unicorn calendar (I’m not painting a good picture, but I was a lonely, pasty, podgy fourteen year old nerd, give me some credit) were all objects of Satan. I thought ‘But that’s just silly, they’re just books, toys and a calendar, why would God be offended by these when there’s so much suffering in the world?’
    I loved the Harry Potter books (and still do), and, whether you like them or not, they’re about the ultimate triumph of friendship, love and self sacrifice over adversity and evil. Even if they were the work of Satan, surely Satan doesn’t recruit people to his fold by telling them to love each other and fight evil for the sake of your fellow human being. Even if he did, doesn’t that make him less evil?
    It says a lot about my teenage self that I was only swayed to question these dingbats when my geeky fandoms were attacked.
    I read the God delusion and the rest is history.

  • TONY E

    Wouldn’t it be great if we could nip about and put passages from the God Delusion into the fundies food?

  • Rozi

    TONY E: Yup, sounds like a plan! I’d put them in the ‘The Passion of the Christ’ DVD slip for maximum impact. Or passages from ‘God is Not Great’ by Christopher Hitchens, if we’re feeling really ‘fundamentalist’ *snort*.

  • Bob

    Barry: You question who would actually read the tracts. I know of people who have been saved after reading tracts and writing to the address on the back for more information, a free Bible and so on. One soul saved from Hell is worth all the effort of distributing tracts, leaving them in public places etc.

  • Ryan

    I while back or so, while minding my own business I got stopped by a Jehovah’s witness at a shopping centre. As she approached me with a multitude of copies of the watchtower I stuck up my hand firmly and proudly said, “No thanks I’m an atheist.”
    Oh the horror, I thought she was going keel over and have a heart attack. Visions of me having to giver her CPR (are you even allowed to resuscitate Jehovahs witnessess?) flashed before my eyes. But to give her credit she rallied magnificently and replied, “If there is no god then who is going to save us?”
    “Yes,” I replied, “My point exactly.”
    In fact isn’t that the whole point of religion? People just refusing to take responsibility for their actions. And yes the world is pretty fucked up at the moment, and we fucked it up, and if we want to fix then we are going to have roll up our sleeves and get stuck in.

  • remigius

    Rozi. I think you chose the wrong DVD there.
    When fundies, like Bob, watch “The Passion of the Brian” they do so with their trousers round their ankles and a box of tissues next to the remote.
    They ain’t gonna be distracted by reality when they need a jesuswank.

  • Kev

    Well said Ryan, we athiests have no cop out clause in life, if only others would see it. I find Mormons (men in black),to be as easily thrown by an admission of atheism as the JW’s. Even a notice on my front door stating quite clearly that I wanted nothing to do with religious zealots is often ignored by that bunch. I once asked a pair of them if they had trouble reading and was told that god demanded I be saved and they had to knock on my door because it was his will. When I told them to go away they seemed to forget their message of peace and good will…surprise, surprise. I have never come across so much venom in two self righteous creeps.

  • Ryan

    Yeah, absolutely right Kev, I’ve said it before but it’s worth repeating. These people come across as being harmless, just a couple of flakes. But it’s only because they wield no power, they have no authority. It’s people like them who came up with the spanish inquisition.

  • Ex Patriot

    I would store bob’s tracts in the bathroom in case I should run out of the regular paper. they might also be good for use on the bottom of bird cages

  • ZombieHunter

    it’s not just christian Evangelists that are irritating arseholes, hare Krishnas are a major pain in the arse too, to be honest they piss me off more than the christians cos whenever I’m walking around Glasgow city centre the christians tend to set up their stalls do their preaching and rarely approach anyone (In my experience anyway) but Hare krishnas go out of their way to try and get you to stop for them and can’t take no for an answer, though I usually find that a simple “Fuck off” gets the message across and if I’m feeling really talkative I just say “Get a real job and stop forcing your beleifs on people”:P

  • Bob

    You have made a good point about not obstructing people and being a nuisance. When I pass out leaflets I never stand in front of people and always offer them in a gentle way. I never pester people who refuse nor do I have a go at them. To do these things simply puts people off. I have heard of people who preach on buses and trains, I would never do that as there is a captive audience who can’t get away and I believe in giving people the option of walking away and saying no.

  • Mike

    Hmm, i’m into comic self-publishing. I ought to knock up an atheist comic called “Do we need god?” with a big cross on it. Then set up next to some street preachers and start handing them out, after showing the god-nutter the cover and saying they’re “really convincing”.
    I could even do an islamic one and stand near the “Do you really understand islam?*” stall in Cambridge. But i’d wear a fake beard and real stab vest for that one.
    *-yes, that’s why i want nothing to do with it!

  • Ed Haz

    Perhaps we could start going door to door on a sunday morning, just before church-time, and ask people if they believe in God?
    Them: “Yes I do actually”
    Us: “Oh, right… Have you ever considered not bothering?”
    T: “Well, no, not really.”
    U: “Well it would really free up your sunday morning. Here, have some literature; this is Heat Magazine for the Missus, Top Gear, for anyone who might like cars, and Nuts, which is porn for people who are afraid of vaginas…”
    How long before we had community support officers, or maybe even real coppers coming down the street to see what we’re up to…

  • A brilliant post, Barry. Couldn’t agree more.
    While the head-shrinkers and pontificators of the world may be trying to find a way to categorise the big OFF switch that happens in the brains of most ardent believers — beyond simple cognitive dissonance, anyway — simply treating them as disabled really does devalue the meaning of disabled.

  • Paul

    Bob
    How interesting that so many of those who don’t like Christians say we are inadequate. They then show how inadequate they are by having to use foul filthy language. Don’t worry about the threats of violence as most of them would run a mile if we said boo to them. I prefer to get rid of any spare energy by shot putting, hammer throwing and heavy weight lifting, but most of my effort involves gentle evangelism.

  • Lewis

    Thank you, THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for sticking it to these vile fucks. I can’t believe that disease has spread from the US to Britain.
    I live in Australia and I tell you if they come here, I’m gonna have some skulls to crack open.
    By the way, the part about your mate Tony was really sad. Makes me rage to think the evangelists did that over some nonexistant giant in the sky. Signed over his money and his house, went against his sexuality and committed suicide…evangelists deserve no mercy. Give those fucks none.
    Atheist for life, mate.

  • Lewis

    And by the way, Bob, please get hit by a bus. We’ll solve all the world’s problems and live in a free atheistic society if you do. Please do it. For us =]