'Holy spirit' moment leaves pastor with clawed buttocks

'Holy spirit' moment leaves pastor with clawed buttocks March 10, 2016

South African Zion Christian Church ‘prophet’ Alec Ndiwane is recovering from what the Southern Daily genteelly describes as ‘a severely injured toilet sitting tool’ – his arse.

Pretoria-based Ndiwane was recently visiting the Kruger National Park with a bunch of church members when he reportedly charged at a pride of  lions to prove the “power of the holy spirit”.
It is believed the prophet went into a trance and started to speak in tongues. Ahead of the church party was a lion pride eating an impala. The preacher opened his car door and went charging towards the animals.
When he saw the lions returning his charge, he panicked and ran back towards his car. But before he could reach it one of the lions lashed out with a paw and clawed his buttocks. The lion was then scared off by a game ranger who fired a gun.
Reported Southern Daily:

So severe was the lion paw injury that Alec had to be rushed to hospital for emergency surgery. The man was fearing he would lose his bum but the doctor’s assured him he would still have his left bum intact.

Later Ndiwane said:

I do not know what came over me. I thought the Lord wanted to use me to show his power over animals. Were we not were given dominion over all creatures of the earth?

"You are the very definition of doublethink. You are a white SJW twit showcasing a ..."

Exorcist plans counter-attack against witches cursing ..."
"Bigot? Vodou and Palo Mayombe are African religions. Fuck you are a retard...like weapon's grade ..."

Exorcist plans counter-attack against witches cursing ..."
"That only works if his "relationship with Christ" is better than his relationships with his ..."

Exorcist plans counter-attack against witches cursing ..."
"Why do these christian wedding vendors seem to feel that a job offer is the ..."

Lights, camera, inaction! Christian bigots won’t ..."

Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!


TRENDING AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • AgentCormac

    ‘Were we not were given dominion over all creatures of the earth?’
    Clearly the man is talking out of his arse!
    BTW, I’m surprised the poor lion hadn’t already been shot by some rich American dentist.

  • Vanity Unfair

    Very old joke:
    What do you call an unsuccessful lion-tamer?

  • Daz

    I’d like to thank the South African reporter for this gem…

    “Upon seeing the man running towards them, the lions could not believed that manna was coming straight from heaven and instead ran towards the prophet.”

  • barriejohn

    What a bummer. Hemant featured this story two days ago:
    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/03/08/south-african-pastor-performs-boiling-water-miracle-thats-more-like-a-pathetic-magic-trick/
    Look up “snakes” on this site as well for some “cautionary tales”!

  • CoastalMaineBird

    I thought the Lord wanted to use me to show his power over animals.
    Funny (tragic) how they never think of both sides.
    If the animal had avoided the fight:
    “The Lord shows his power and protected me”
    If the animal had chewed him up:
    “The Lord is weak and powerless”
    — Somehow, I don’t think so.

  • Janey Singletary

    Clearly the man was evolved about
    1 level above that of the lion. There’s
    help for the ignorant…not much hope
    for the stupid. 🙂

  • Broga

    My sympathies are with the lion.

  • Paddy

    Can he still talk trough his arse?

  • Paddy

    Inane Clawed

  • Lolwhites

    Pride goes before a fall…

  • Some day science will explain in terms no one can ignore why masses of people elevate foolish men to positions of authority.
    I note that while there are indeed some cruel or cynical atheists in positions of power, I don’t know of any foolish atheists who are leaders of men.

  • CoastalMaineBird

    What are the chances that this “prophet” actually LEARNED something from this incident?

  • Broga

    CoastalMaineBird: The usual “learning” involves blaming the devil.

  • L.Long

    Once again ignorant dimwit proves gawds power…..
    Gawd…0
    Science (gun)….1
    Science is still the winner and always will be!!!

  • jay

    Lion 1; God 0

  • andym

    CoastalMaineBird says:
    Thu 10 Mar at 3:42 pm
    What are the chances that this “prophet” actually LEARNED something from this incident?
    There is always a cop-out. He’ll probably claim that testing his God in this way showed a lack of faith for which he was punished.

  • barriejohn

    Can he still talk through his arse?
    Very good. I understand that he’s now changed his name to Claude!

  • barriejohn
  • CoastalMaineBird

    andym: He’ll probably claim that testing his God in this way showed a lack of faith for which he was punished.
    Yeah – he just didn’t BELEEB enough !
    Mr. Claude B. Hines didn’t learn from the other thousands of “tests” before him.

  • Cali Ron

    LOL, Your all killing me here.
    Apparently, that wasn’t the lion of Judah…

  • gedediah

    This man’s faith is weak. If he’d trusted his god and continued running forward intead of running away the lion would have lain down before him.
    Alternative: this man’s faith is weak. If he’d trusted his god and continued running forward intead of running away the lion would have eaten him as intended.God loves lions too.

  • Kim

    I think Claude Butz is a more appropriate name.

  • John

    Thanks for the laugh – a most enjoyable story.