Turkish academic claims Noah had a mobile phone & steel ark

Turkish academic claims Noah had a mobile phone & steel ark January 13, 2018

Yavuz Örnek, above, a Turkish academic, has become an international figure of fun for claiming last week that Noah used a mobile phone to call his son shortly before the flood which, according to biblical and quranic mythology, engulfed the planet.
According to this report, speaking on state-run channel TRT 1 on January 6, Örnek, a lecturer at the Marine Sciences Faculty of Istanbul University, said Noah had to communicate with his son via a cell phone as they were a long way from each other.

There were huge 300 to 400-meter high waves and his [the Prophet Noah’s] son was many kilometers away. The Quran says Noah spoke with his son. But how did they manage to communicate? Was it a miracle? It could be. But we believe he communicated with his son via cell phone.

He failed to mention which son received the call. Both Old Testament says Noah had three sons – Shem, Ham and Japheth.
He also claimed that Noah himself built the ship made of steel plates and this ship used nuclear energy.
Örnek added:

I am a scientist, I speak for science.

An entire chapter in the Quran is devoted to Noah and the ark myth.
Örnek’s ridiculous claim, according to this report, have attracted widespread attention in Turkey, with some seeing his statements as symptomatic of the increasingly religious, anti-intellectual turn encouraged by the government.
Using the incident as an example, one warned that:

Many studies today highlight the serious brain drain from Turkey towards the West. This is a country where imams close to the government are openly calling on Allah ‘to protect us from the wickedness of the educated’.

Last year, the government introduced a new school curriculum that dropped the teaching of evolution at secondary schools.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Angela_K

    “I’m a scientist” no you’re not. Any person who believes this preposterous nonsense needs psychiatric help. “Academic” must have a different meaning in Turkey, perhaps it means humongous bellend.

  • AgentCormac

    FFS, you couldn’t make this nonsense up. Pre-historic mobile phones? Örnek’s a scientist? Both equally derisible. Someone give Erich von Däniken a call – I’m sure he’d think all this was perfectly reasonable.

  • barriejohn
  • AgentCormac

    @barriejohn
    And, of course, the bible predicted the internet, social media, micro-chips, yawn, yawn, yawn and so on:
    https://planetzion.wordpress.com/2015/02/09/modern-technology-which-the-bible-predicted-would-be-invented/
    Now, pardon me for being just a tad sceptical here, but a rather relevant question might be: if god is so effing clever, why didn’t he just wait a couple more thousand years to take advantage of today’s mass, global communication? Even if you accept the creationists’ absurd 6000-year timetable of universal creation, it looks like the old sky fairy went early and made a right royal fuck-up by revealing all to illiterate iron-age goat herders rather than Rupert Murdoch. Just imagine how much more effective that might have been on Fox News – forget Trump, we’ve just had god on the phone!

  • Broga

    It is rare, even in religious circles, to read high grade nonsense of this quality. And this man teaches Marine Science.

  • barriejohn

    AgentCormac: …once you glean over all the material in this article you will never look at the Bible in the same way again.
    So true, though I’ve heard that sort of codswallop myself many times in the past. Interesting that he misses this Biblical reference to public transport:
    “At Parbar westward, four at the causeway, and two at Parbar.” (I Chron. 26:18 KJV)
    Must be the eight-twenty-seven from Clapham!

  • barriejohn

    Broga: He’s all at sea.

  • Barry Duke

    Seeing it’s Stupidity Sunday, may I present pastor and Christian “comedian” Jamar Haynes Lee. He’s written a book entitled How to Guarantee Your Children will go to Heaven.

  • Brandon

    I voted Brexit for the sole reason of not being in the EU if Turkey was allowed to join. Turkey is a hopeless basket case of a country. Riddled with islamofacist shitehawks determined to drag Turkey back to the Dark Ages.

  • DOM

    Wait till Ken Ham hears about this, he has copyright on what the ark looks like, is made of and what was on it!

  • sowa

    Fanfiction counts as science now?

  • Farmer Giles

    There are several explanations for this:-
    He is mentally ill and in need of medication / therapy / locking up in a secure facility.
    He is being blackmailed into saying these things by Erdogan’s Were wolves and is scared of what they will do to him and his family.
    He is saying these things sunbversively in an attempt to show how idiotic the islamonuts in Turkey have become.
    He really believes it.
    He is taking the piss and having a bit of fun.
    Trouble is figuring out which one.

  • Lenny Nurdbol

    Yes, I’ve had it up to here with bozos like this claiming to be a “scientist” of all things!
    You can call me an “Islamophobe” if you’d like, but these people of Islam have got to be the most retarded of all believers on the face of the planet. That doesn’t disturb me so much as this guy Not being a lone nut.
    And, yes, this is basically Von Danken’s stuff regurgitated.
    But what do I know? Surely Allah had a Plan when he chose, of all people on the planet, a schizophrenic Stone Age desert caveman to be his Prophet (a.k.a. #1 slave) 1400 years ago…
    I really hate to say it, but I almost respect Scientology these days. At the very least, it’s got The lowest kill-count of all religions!

  • Lenny Nurdbol

    Yes, I’ve had it up to here with bozos like this claiming to be a “scientist” of all things!
    You can call me an “Islamophobe” if you’d like, but these people of Islam have got to be the most retarded of all believers on the face of the planet. That doesn’t disturb me so much as this guy Not being a lone nut.
    And, yes, this is basically Von Danken’s stuff regurgitated.
    But what do I know? Surely Allah had a Plan when he chose, of all people on the planet, a schizophrenic Stone Age desert caveman to be his Prophet (a.k.a. #1 slave) 1400 years ago…
    I really hate to say it, but I almost respect Scientology these days. At the very least, it’s got The lowest kill-count of all religions!

  • Matthew Carr

    Actually, it’s even worse than described. Cell phones don’t work at sea. Noah would have had to use a satellite phone. So now the family has a space program.

  • Broga

    Matthew Carr : When I asked a devout Christian if she accepted that Noah could not have got all the creatures on the Ark and that he would not know koalas or polar bears even existed she had an answer. To God all things are possible.

  • Matthew Carr

    Broga: If you get to that point you have to wonder why an ark was even needed. Why not re-create all the animals and Noan’s family, assuming he was that important? Why have Noah make the ark when God could do it instantly? If Noah had to prove himself by making an ark were there other people making arks in case Noah failed? What happened to the other arks?

  • Broga

    Matthew Carr : Indeed. I also tried my favourite question with religious proselytisers (a relative in this case) “What do you mean by God?”
    No progress there. She said, “Everybody knows what is meant by God. You just need to read your bible.”

  • Brian Jordan

    @Agent Cormac,
    Even if you accept the creationists’ absurd 6000-year timetable of universal creation,
    Clearly this twerp doesn’t – given the technology available, the Fludde can have been no earlier than about 1950 CE.
    Still, Ken Ham and that Dutchman will be pleased to have their use of steel in the construction of their arks authenticated.

  • Cali Ron

    OK, why has nobody brought up the fact that god could have just purged the undesirables from existence with the blink of an eye instead of wasting all that time, flooding the whole world and the mess it would no doubt leave behind. For being all powerful and all knowledge able god doesn’t seem to be too smart. Or could that be a reflection of the goat herder mentality of the men who wrote the bible.